overheard on the street-a bar-somewhere not Guitar Center

13
tbone wrote:Yesterday, while entering Trader Joe's with my girlfriend, a 40-ish soccer mom kind of woman leaving the store loudly said to her friend "SO I'M AT THE GYNECOLOGIST..." just as they were walking past us, and I sort of went "BAH!" and recoiled in horror. The woman saw me do this, got all embarrassed, and shut up, at least until she got out of earshot from us.

It was great.


I was driving behind an SUV on the ramp to the parking lot at the Trader Joe's on Clybourn. The woman driving it threw a candy wrapper out of the window. I retrieved it, and after parking, walked up to her and said, "here, you dropped this." She was mortified.

overheard on the street-a bar-somewhere not Guitar Center

14
DNA Concept wrote:In a university computer lab, conducted between two individuals whose tanned skin had the appearance and consistency of a chestnut-brown naugahyde recliner:

Guy: Hey man. You just got back?

Girl: Yesterday. Loved it, just lay out and tanned allllll day.

Guy: What're you using, if I may ask?

Girl: Sure. I start with the Hawaiian Tropic 8, the oil, and after a couple of days, when I've got a good base going, I dial it down to the Hawaiian Tropic 4. And 20 on the face, of course.

Guy: 20 on the face? Why 20 on the face?

Girl: You only have one face.


That's why she's in a university computer lab. She's smart.
Tom wrote: I remember going in the back and seeing him headbanging to Big Black. He looked like he was raping the air- really. He had this look on his face like, "yeah air... you know you want it.".

overheard on the street-a bar-somewhere not Guitar Center

18
A few weeks ago while walking by the Starbucks at Division and Hermitage I overheard a Trixie on her cell phone saying,

"This is why I didn't want to do business with you in the first place Jackie! Have him look at the fucking proposal and get back to me!"

Then she hung up and walked into Starbucks. I felt sorry for whatever poor barista had to make her triple non fat no whip grande orange caramel mocha with an extra flavor shot.
it's not the length, it's the gersch

overheard on the street-a bar-somewhere not Guitar Center

20
On the train yesterday, I overheard a woman on her cell phone telling a friend that she might get suspended from work for some computer-related hyjinx.

Apparently, she had put a VBA macro into her co-worker Janice's Microsoft Word document that injected "Happy Birthday, Janice" in big letters into every page Janice sent to print.

Of course it was Janice's birthday, and she'd created the tiny program as a harmless prank, but Janice became terrified and the entire office ended up in an uproar, worried that a harmful virus was going to eat all their files.

She was on the verge of tears as she explained how her boss raked her over the coals for like 2 hours in his office and how she may lose her job over this.

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