davesec wrote:this isn't really stupid but one day in highschool we were in physical science class when a ceiling tile was moved and a leprechaun stuck his head down through it...

Tears of laughter at this one. Tears.

I think the most fucking stupid thing I ever did at school was to attend any classes whatsoever for the two year duration of my A Levels.

holmes wrote:run my fingers across my naked pupils to impress girls. i have impaired vision now.

So you were the teacher?

that damned fly wrote:why i never got into any fights over this is beyond me.

Why you never get in to any fights is beyond me.

I once stood by and watched a friend unload a glock over the kids in my class. It was a gas-pumped bb gun, but it was horrifying nonetheless.

He's resolved his 'issues' now.

I used to get my mother to write increasingly ridiculous notes as to why I was missing free study periods. The best one was probably written on yellow paper with pink highlighter and claimed that I was absent because I had 'Gulf War Syndrome'.

When I made the leap from 5th grade to 6th, it fascinated me to see that the textbooks I was issued had the names of the previous students who used them recorded in the inside cover. I somehow came to the conclusion that this gave me a perfect opportunity to write profanities on the pages of my books. One of my textbooks had been previously issued to a boy named Sean West. It seemed perfectly reasonable to me to write, "Go suck a dick", then sign his name, "Sean West". Throughout the book I did this, and my mother indeed saw the comments, written in my unique 11 year old scrawl. When she questioned me about it, I would simply direct her to the signature, as if to say, "Don't you see? I did not write these terrible things. Sean West did. And if you will simply check the register in the front of the book, you will see that he indeed carried this book himself throughout the 1977-78 school year."
And to this day, whenever life is getting me down or someone is getting under my skin, I might very well mutter under my breath,
Go suck a dick
Sean West

Math Club.


Jon

davesec wrote:oh i remember in highschool there was this jar of formaldehyde and in it was this giant preserved salamander.. this thing must have been in that locked cabinet for 50+ years. anyway this one kid chris asked the teacher pretty much every day if he could have that salamander and the teacher kept saying he could if he behaved himself during the school year.

so the end of the school year comes and chris asks the teacher and the teacher cracks and says yes, unlocks the cupboard and gives chris the jar. and then chris runs out of the class and we see him run outside onto the parking lot and he whips the jar against a parked schoolbus.

So fucking funny!

thewarden wrote:
There were other teachers we used to torture in various ways as well, such as our science teacher-- nearing retirement--who we nicknamed "Tippy Turtle."
He was so old and so tired he used to just give us entire periods where he'd just tell us to read our books while he fell asleep at his desk. We ended up getting some of those "Magnum" markers and would keep track of how many days he'd wear the same outfit by drawing on the back of his pants while he was by our tables and then seeing the same mark for weeks at a time. We also started tagging our table during class with the markers. We started out tenatively with small little "Tippy Turtle" tags but as the weeks went on and nothing was said we got more and more ambitious until the point we were writing all over the tabletops in huge fonts. He finally took us aside and said "Boys, I know what's going on and

'Tippy Turtle' sounds like the U.S. equivalent of 'Happy Larry', my Higher physics teacher. He was hopelessly timid, and as such all sorts of stupid shit used to happen in his classes.
A) There was a long-running competition to attach crocodile clips onto the back of his suit jacket. One day he walked into lunch with 4 clips, one of which had a lead dangling from it.
B)Dennis, who sat next to me, used to steal Keith's set of highlighter pens and throw them out of the window one by one. When all the pens had gone Keith would jump out of the window (we were on the ground floor), collect his pens, walk round the outside of the building and re-enter the classroom, apologising to Larry for being late.
C)Dennis also started the penis game, which simply consisted of yelling a long, drawn-out chant of 'PEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS' during class.
D)Radge, the guy who sat in front of me, used to take bottles of chemicals and other apparatus and put them in people's schoolbags. He would then grass them up as they walked out of the classrooms at the end of the period.
E) I used to get dead arms a lot, and I got a C for physics. To this day I don't really understand how amplifiers work.

One beautiful spring day in like 6th grade, I wanted to get the afternoon off from school so I devised a brilliant plan. At lunchtime, I mixed a bunch of condiments from the school cafeteria with chocolate milk and drank it.

It worked! I got nauseous immediately, wandered out into the hallway and threw up. They sent me to the school nurse, who assumed I'd contracted some kind of food poisoning, so they called my mom and let me go home early.

Only trouble was that my mom, who also thought I was really very sick, took the afternoon off from work and stayed home with me. I had to stay in the house all day and all evening, so I completely missed out on the nice day I'd planned on enjoying all along.