Its hard to say what stories are best, they are all pretty coo, but I definately get a huge kick out of mooliachi's drugged up, naked stories. They are much of the fun and outrageousness! I bet Steve has some painfully hilarious stories in his past, lets hope he tells more

shagboy wrote:so, you had copious amounts of coitus, and then your parents didn't catch you.

HOW EMBARRASSING!

No, no. It was embarassing that he was twenty and living with his parents.


Jokes.





Faiz

Okay, okay. I have one story. Only one is embarrassing to me (I see is a life of many colors, some you show in pride, some are for teach lesson, no so many to be embarrass of!) so I can tell her.

I warn you reader, is no so great as any these Brett Eugene Ralph, King of Southern Gentility, Speed Cooker Drunken Puke Fight, Tit-Mistaker, but is some small funny in it.

I am in band with other chitarristo, he is sometimes stern man of no so many word, but brilliant, and I am kind of idolize him. I am lucky he will be in band with me! I say it, he is the good part of this band! So, I am defer to him in most things.

So, is after show in Detroit. The other guy in band (number three guy, is bass-player guy), he is maybe drunk or something, he goes to where is girls and such things. Loud all-nighter things. Is me and other sometime-stern-few-words-guy needs place to sleep. Our friend and host, he say, "You can take from the sofa these cushioni, and make a kind of bed on floor. So nice! He is make place for us in his home! So nice! And here is blanket.

So we make kind-of bed from cushioni di sofa on floor, and we disrobe to sleeping underwears. We go to sleep. These blanket, she is no so big, and is some cold up there. Is blanket maybe only cover one-and-half chitarristi. Anyway, I sleep.

Porco Dio! I am awaked in middle of night by sometime-stern-few-words-guy I idolize -- he is yank small blanket off me and is push his part of cushions-bed away. I think he say some "motherfucker," or something.

I am confused and is some "What the fuck?" From still a little bit asleep, I look where I am. I have scooched over to his side of cushions-bed! I realise it, I have made a snuggle! I have made in my sleep to think is maybe girlfriend or teddy bear or blankey and I make to snuggle at him! Porco Dio! I look down, and I am, how you say... sleep boner? Is rock-hard pecker to stick from sleep underwear! And maybe I have poked into him!

I am asleep soon, but I am asleep cold, without any some blanket, and to know I have accidentally made poke at him. Is maybe no so embarrass as fly-by (is phrase soon to be made famous by Bradley R. Weissenberger when he has time for his own story! Porco Dio!), but is some embarrass for sure! To sleep-snuggle and to poke with, how you say... Sleep woodrow. I cry.

So, amici, I am never ask about it by sometime-stern-few-words guy, but is on my mind sometime. Maybe I ask something of him, and he think in his own mind, "motherfucker tried to play position on me, motherfucker..." I think maybe.

So, is my story.

shagboy wrote:so, you had copious amounts of coitus, and then your parents didn't catch you.

HOW EMBARRASSING!

No no, the embarrassing part is that the 17 year old left, picked up the jeep from PA and drove off into the sunset with Brian MacMahon. While eating the rest of the hot fries. Oh, fate!

I have visions of Steve's last story happening to me anytime I have to share sleeping quarters with anyone. I apparently have a tendency to become amorous in my sleep, so I figure if my girlfriend is not safe then perhaps anyone else who sleeps close to me may not be. It is actually quite troubling.

steve wrote:I am confused and is some "What the fuck?" From still a little bit asleep, I look where I am. I have scooched over to his side of cushions-bed! I realise it, I have made a snuggle! I have made in my sleep to think is maybe girlfriend or teddy bear or blankey and I make to snuggle at him! Porco Dio! I look down, and I am, how you say... sleep boner? Is rock-hard pecker to stick from sleep underwear! And maybe I have poked into him!

Oh no! How embarrased you must have been feeling. Thoroughly entertaining though!

oh jeez you guys are mean.

No, no. It was embarassing that he was twenty and living with his parents.

see, no, if you read closely, you can read that I left my mom's Jeep in PA because I was driving to Louisville from New York, and got a ride back there. Reading is fundamental.

I said "Jokes." hstencil.

steve wrote:To sleep-snuggle and to poke with, how you say... Sleep woodrow. I cry.

This is the belly laugh I needed before heading out to the the photo hut for another 8 hours of humiliation at the withered hands of fake-tittied, ass-lipped, skin-cancered, Escalade driving ex-porn star soccer moms....some of whom have their doctor husbands with them, who are mysteriously all named "tiger" .

I used to think I had many embarrassing moments in adolescence, as my Dad used to walk in on me whenever I had a girlfriend up in my room. Then I twigged on.

I accidentally stepped on my friend's guinea pig's head once and killed it.

First day of primary school, first time in a relatively public toilet on my own, didn't check the sign, didn't lock the cubicle door and it got opened by two highly amused third year girls while I was having a poo.

When I was seventeen, my friend's band invited me to get up and do one of their songs live. I'd been looking forward to it all day. I sang the opening line, jumped in the air as the song kicked in and fell all over the drumkit.

I'm sure there's something else...

About a year ago I was having these pains in my sides. it was just kind of a dull ache for a few days. then one day it got a little worse.
that night I woke up in the middle of the night. something was wrong. i sat up in bed very confused, perhaps a bit terrified.
I had peed the bed. I sat there in my homemade puddle panicing.
"how could this happen? why did this happen? I dont understand how i could have done this!"
you know panic. freaking out. fumbling for answers.
then my attention turned to my sleeping girlfriend next to me.
more panic
then a few more minutes of the "how could this happen?"
I need to take care of this and fast. I went to the bathroom VERY QUIETLY as to not stir my girlfriend into falling in the kiddie pool next to her.
all the towels were in the wash
all I found was one of those golf towels with the metal ring in the corner. these fucking things are tiny. think washrag.
I cleaned and scrubbed as quitely as possible and covered said puddle up and went to bed.
the next day I took yellow golf towel to the hamper.
a few days later I found out she used this towel to wipe her face when working out. i asked if she had washed it yet.
she did.
whew!