there is a massive exception to the goatee=crap rule
men of color. note that i am not afraid of saying 'black men,' and that is only partially what i mean. i mean 'men of color.' kerble, you have a little color to you. i can imagine you having a passable goat. i can easily imagine you having a crap goat as well, but you know. my friend ryan r., he is similarly complected, and he has had upon his face a non-crap goat.
many men of color have rocked the goat with style. at the very least, a goat is not normally crap on a man of color, and the darker he is, the less crap it tends to be. this is the midgett rule of goats. generally: crap, but etc.
mine own flirtation with the goat (i prefer the blunt 'goat' or the classier term 'van dyke') was done on tour, so partly excusable, and under the influence of someone saying i looked like a white malcolm x, with horn-rimmed glasses and such. of course, this was probably an insult, and yet it planted a tiny seed that grew itself out as a crap, white man's goat. the best thing that i can say about it is that it was square on the end, so that when i turned sideways, it etc. etc.
so, goats are crap, but x's goat? not crap. dr j's goat? n/c. thelonious monk? one of the greatest goats in modern history:
the finest present-day goat that comes to mind is that of vladimir guerrero, when he has sculpted it according to the monk model. it's a fine goatee, fit for the AL mvp and a man who does not use batting gloves.
but, in the end, due to all the white men w/goatees, some of whom are my friends: crap.