In that case, you should have a chat with my grandmother sometime. She is full of the hilarious malapropisms you look for, such as the day she came home from working at the mall to tell us "what an orgy [ordeal] it was" getting home via Reisterstown Rd.

hey, uh, as a tenth grade english teacher, i can't take any pissing contest about grammar and spelling...all day, i witness brains that just can't cut the written mustard. i've never heard any of my bato locos de mexico say something along the lines of, 'yo halba espanol.' americans have very little desire to use their language correctly. i remind my students often that it is of little use to learn my stuff, since hey kids, you can know the meanings of and how to pronounce very few multisyllabaic words and STILL become president of the US. of course, since Bush made a deal with satan years ago at a texas crossroad, he knew he didn't have to conjugate. (i read he lost interest in verb conjugation after barbara informed him it had nothing to do with prison sex visits). i still believe, if you can understand what one is saying, or typing, then let it go and enjoy the amalgation of our language--unless of course you are grading them, and in that case, use the snot out of that red pen. the brain is truly an amazing thing, but the backhoe makes more jaws drop.

The ironing is delicious.

my girlfriend reminded me of another that we heard her sister use...i suppose it's more of a phrasal malapropism:

"when cookie comes to crunch...."

it took us a few minutes before we realised how she'd got the two phrases tangled up

"of"


as in:

"I could of done better"



GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I FUCK YOU IN THE FACE WITH A SHOVEL!!!



thanks.



Faiz

My sister: "That cat hides under the bed all the time. She needs more socialism."

Satanic Cult Survivor on Montel Williams: "I participated in animalistic rituals, but I did not participate in any humanistic rituals."

White trash chick on Montel Williams: "It is the job of parents to install good values in their children."

My dad: "The flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak."

Some kid at a party: There were all these seagulls conjugating in a parking lot.

Hmmm....I preen, you preen, we preen. I migrate, you migrate, he migrates. This could go on for quite some time.

Well this thread has certainly peaked my interest.


Also 'supposably' drives me insane.

Randy Johnson - The Big Eunuch.