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by Ty Webb_Archive
I was hoping Rheingold would show up early in this thread. It's always on special, if not free, at NYC bars and it's un-fucking-drinkable. Like someone poured a shot of cough syrup into a Schaefer (another shit beer).
National Bohemian is indeed a mouthful of watery sewage, but I have a soft spot in my heart for it. It was dirt cheap when I was college, so it was our drink of choice. Even when we finally admitted to ourselves it was crap, we kept buying it and not just buying it, but choosing to buy it in cans. The cans came with rather attractive wildlife paintings on them called the "Wildlife of the Chesapeake" series. The first one we picked up was #13, the Canada goose.
But after several months of nearly constant drinking, we noticed it was ALWAYS #13, the Canada goose. But we were stubborn (and borderline-retarded drunk), so we kept trying. The cans came in cardboard cases, so you couldn't get a sneak peak. It was like a disappointing Christmas every time we opened a case and saw those goddamn geese again - "SOCKS! FUCK!"
One of the many times I passed out on my buddy's filthy couch in his basement apartment, lovingly called The Hole, I had a dream about the little winky guy on the Natty Bo label. That couch was famous for inspiring Boschian nightmares.
You had me at Sex Traction Aunts Getting Vodka-Rogered On Glass Furniture