do tell...and sorry if this is exclusive for those of you who did not do sleepaway college vibes.

i fared pretty well with Brent, vegan taekwando dude into all metal from slayer to king diamond to the priest. he was pretty tolerant of my year long experiment with the drugs and drink, and it was fun to come home trashed to seeing him fucking up with nunchucks and lip-synching "mob rules" or whatever.
n/c

Wayne Lee, Lou'v'lle born Asian engineer that played jazz trumpet. Often told me that "they'd shoot you for that in Lou'v'lle." Probably was right. Stellar guy. Funny, Intelligent and calm. Not crap at all.


Faiz

Dean A.

100% Not Crap. When I moved into my room I saw a muddy pair of cowboy boots, some stuffed animals, a basketball, and a Nitty Gritty Dirt Band cassette placed, as if on display, on his desk. He was not there. It all made me a bit nervous.

But we got along famously. Young Dean was a funny, sensitive, and very kind man. I played Nirvana for him (pre-MTV). He called it "baby music".

I’ve never lived or even been inside a dorm. I lived with three friends in a dilapidated semi-bungalow off campus though. I was pretty serious about school and they were pretty serious about drugs and pussy. Great guys, filthy roommates. Now Jason makes the rock music in Toronto, Rich makes the films and breaks the hearts in Austin Texas, and Nigel contributes to the gentrification of San Francisco doing something dotcom-related that I've never fully understood.

They each get a hot cup of Not Crap from me.

I'm amazed at the luck you've all had with freshman year roommates.

Mine was named Keith. Keith never said much and literally had not a single interest other than hocking things he'd buy from garage sales on eBay (though I remember once walking in on him playing a video on his computer of a dalmation fucking a woman). After I polished off a 12-pack over three days, he told our RA that I was an alcoholic and that he was worried about me.

I remember that he had a pacemaker and that once his annoying friend next door, an Asian hip-hopper named Kim, punched him really hard in the heart for, ya know, shits and giggles ("Yo, is your robo-heart gonna, like, explode?"). Like a true friend. The poor guy could hardly move for hours.

He was real quiet, but still a total asshole. He'd go to bed at around 10:30pm, so I'd go to my suitemates, where I'd sleep on weekends so that Keith wouldn't wake me up at 9 am to the sound of Tomb Raider. That's not what makes him an asshole though. What makes him an asshole is this: my suitemate once walked in on Keith standing over my cot, saying "motherfucker, faggot motherfucking cocksucker, get up, bitch, get up" in a quiet, conversation level voice while I was asleep. He was also, apparently, lightly kicking at my mattress. My suitemate was disturbed by this and chased the kid out of the room. I got a new roommate next semester.

And even worse: he never ever left the room. Not for anything.

Connor

Not even for cheesy breads?

I watched Hamish Aris, while sleepwalking, make a ninety-degree West-point esque turn, pull down his sleep wear, and proceed to urinate directly into a waste basket before returning to his bed. He could not explain the urine the next day, thinking that I had done it for some inexplicable reason. He also left a can of opened tuna next to a heater in the frat guys room down the hall in retaliation for the spread of itching powder in his bed by afforementioned males. He timed it just before they left for winter break, and I think the room still smells to this day.

For the name Hamish Omar Aris: Not Crap

For the tales urine and tuna: Not Crap

The time he make the sex in my bed with woman: Crap

Overall Roomate Rating (O.R.R.): Not Crap

so not crap. my freshman year roommate was my best friend, who remains so to this day. i gotta say that living together was pretty grating, and we didn't get along as good living together as we did just hanging out every day. but we pulled through and are still best friends. very NOT CRAP, this guy!

Get a room.

parent's basement. no roommate. wish i had stories like you guys (sniff)