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Here comes the crack

2 by Rimbaud III_Archive
Finally! Crime gets creative! Why the fracking hell would you steal someone's leg? What could you possibly need it for? Are the Costa Ricans so coke-addled that they now get their kicks (pardon the pun) stealing limbs?
I'd like to suggest a few more completely useless crimes:

-Covering peoples homes with cling film.

-'Tinting' car windows with marmalade and iron filings.

-Stealing stuff from supermarkets but replacing them with IDENTICAL purchases made a year previously.

-Leaving payment for meals in restaurants with laminated banknotes.

-Reverse mugging: You violently thrust money and mobile phones into the pockets of unsuspecting folk as they make their way home from work.

-Stealing briefcases from commuters, filling them with pornographic playing cards and handing the case in to the police.

Here comes the crack

3 by slowriot_Archive
Rimbaud III wrote:
-Stealing stuff from supermarkets but replacing them with IDENTICAL purchases made a year previously.



is that a take-off on the old "find a recipt on the ground for an item paid for with cash, go to the store, take the item off the shelf and try to return it" trick? does anyone know if this works?

Here comes the crack

4 by Rimbaud III_Archive
is that a take-off on the old "find a recipt on the ground for an item paid for with cash, go to the store, take the item off the shelf and try to return it" trick? does anyone know if this works?


"Sir, this butternut squash just won't fit up my ass. Can I return it please? Here's the receipt."
"Erm, why have you been trying to put it up your bum?"
"Take a look at it man! TAKE A LOOK AT IT!"

In the UK, people that try to pull such off such stunts are lovingly referred to as 'gyppos'.

Here comes the crack

5 by Zer0_Archive
Police say they are targeting young people involved in a new trend of assaults in which they "slap" commuters in the face for no apparent reason.

Gangs are said to record pictures of the assaults on their mobile phones and then text them to their friends.

Only in GBr.
God Bless the English. and their creative/usless/lame/hilarious crime.
"I think that most music is dangerous because it tends to systematize thought -- you think in patterns -- you "know" what's coming before you even hear it." Boyd Rice

Here comes the crack

8 by unarmedman_Archive
People who use "quotes" to denote emphasis = CRAP

Due to aphasia I misread this thread title as "Here comes the COCK." Woo boy.


and yet you still came in here.... :wink:

-Covering peoples homes with cling film.

how about wrapping people's cars in it? i dated this girl in high school who did this to the girl i dated before her (they were friends before i went in and messed it up). she had a mustang, '76 i believe it was...covered in corn flakes and wrapped in plastic. sun-baked it in and it completely ruined the paint job. despite the anger and teen-tensions, i felt really bad for her when i found out that happened. cost about $300 or so for new paint job, and then she went and totalled it about a month later.

and then got another one.

sorry for rambling....this useless crime makes me reminisce!
"The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter."
-Winston Churchill
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