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Worst band self-description

11 by kazoozak_Archive
some crappy dorm-rock band from my school wrote:Master is a new type of college rock band. One that's not afraid to play any song genre: Classic, Funk, Disco, Punk, Ska, whatever. As long as we stay true to our bands mission: To put soul back in rock n' roll. Master is here to kick some ass.

In their sounds like section on myspace, they also wrote:The roots of rock n' roll in New York City. Tastes like a gingerbread house on fire. Smells like a bowl full of spiked punch. Feels like your favorite blanket fresh out of the dryer full of static electricity. Looks like the future of rock n' roll.


EDIT: Sure, they suck at describing their own music, but I think I'm going to have to be fair towards this band, since they're only starting out and have a long way to go in terms of a band, so I'm gonna let their stuff slide for now. Plus, they're good friends of mine.
Last edited by kazoozak_Archive on Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Worst band self-description

13 by pwalshj_Archive
I was asked to write a bio for a speed-punk band i used to be in. I wrote 5 paragraphs on how our guitarist arrived via steam trawler from Tashkent in 1908 and used his guitar primarially to swat beggars, our other guitarist inspired Jim Marshall to manufacture the JTM 45, our drummer shot a flare gun at the Isle of Wight festival during the Mothers of Invention set. I can't remember what i did. Anyhoo, these 4 distinct personalities merged to become a blinding force admired only by fellow musicians and despised by all women.
I should find that.

(Oh! I quit Hawkwind because they weren't heavy enough)
Christopher J. McGarvey wrote:In the 1988 season the Orioles lost their first 21 games to set a ML record for most consecutive losses. I decided then to have their logo as my avatar.


Rock-a-lock

Worst band self-description

16 by six acre lake_Archive
Yes i am guilty of writing shitty band descriptions. For example hear is what i wrote for NKT.

"Nat King Tron is a trio of fine fellows from Philadelphia who create a potent blend of off kilter, razor sharp guitar and effects flurries, anchored by pulsing bass and ass shaking bombastic beats that often blossom into seriously pleasurable waves of cinematic melody and noise."

I guess its better then being "Warm and Punchy"

Is there any "good" self composed band descriptions. My feelings are it is impossible to not sound like a toolbox.
http://www.myspace.com/thesixacrelake
http://www.myspace.com/thelastgreatsciencefairproject
http://www.myspace.com/natkingtron

Worst band self-description

17 by Jeremy_Archive
How do any of you describe your band on the internet/fliers/write-ups?


I like reading what a band puts for a bio. For one, the style usually gives away their personalities. For two, they often help me understand where they're coming from (particularly a brief history).

Mine, right now, says something like "hey if you want my new EP, just give me a couple bucks for shipping."


Jeremy

Worst band self-description

19 by Johnny C_Archive
Really, it's tough to describe your own stuff without coming across like a dick. I once described my music as a bunch of artists I like having been eaten by a whale and "having a camp-out in its stomach." Mostly that was because it sounded like a synthesis of those artists but I needed an excuse for the layers of reverb I had to toss on the recordings in order to mask their tremendously poor quality.

Having press helps marvelously, though. Until a band gets a write-up by someone else who can describe their sound better, they have an excuse for a shitty self-description.
Marsupialized wrote:You are shitting me
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