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by GrossOldWig_Archive
I have to do this at the moment. I hate it.
Since the purpose of writing band text is to help the reader understand kind of what you sound like, I guess the best bet it to cop to a few primary influences and maybe a vague genre and then move on. All business.
The other option I'm considering would be a detailed but sloppy description of the music, like: "Generally, our songs start out where the drummer is like, boom Chakka boom Chakka boom, and he does that for a little while and then the guitar does this high-pitched scratchy thing, like Granga GranScreEEE, and the bass comes in like DONG DONG du DONG DONG, and that goes on for a while and then the singer screams and starts shouting and we don't know what he's saying but I think he's comparing love to food or something. Then we do that for about four minutes with a half-improvised breakdown in the middle and then try to play the whole thing backwards for an ending."