toomanyhelicopters wrote:how many indie rockers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
wait, seriously? you never heard this one before?
I have this joke on vinyl.
Hilarious Joke
471I have this joke on vinyl.
I have this joke on vinyl.
Hilarious Joke
472A guy goes into the doctor and says:
Hey Doc, I got a really sore arse.
And the Doc asks what have you been doing?
O I got fucked by an elephant, the man replies.
And then the doctors says: But elephants have really long skinny penises, not big enough to give you a sore anus.
To that the guy replies:
Yeah but it fingered me first.
Hey Doc, I got a really sore arse.
And the Doc asks what have you been doing?
O I got fucked by an elephant, the man replies.
And then the doctors says: But elephants have really long skinny penises, not big enough to give you a sore anus.
To that the guy replies:
Yeah but it fingered me first.
Hilarious Joke
473Knock knock.
Who's there?
9-11.
9-11 who?
You said you'd never forget.
Who's there?
9-11.
9-11 who?
You said you'd never forget.
"he probably felt like he owed me something since he just skullfucked me with a drill"
Hilarious Joke
474One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room
to check it out.
He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad
going at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as
Johnny closed the door.
After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny. He
opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and little
Johnny going at it behind her.
Dad yelled, "Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!"
Little Johnny replied, "It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!"
to check it out.
He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad
going at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as
Johnny closed the door.
After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny. He
opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and little
Johnny going at it behind her.
Dad yelled, "Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!"
Little Johnny replied, "It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!"
drew patrick wrote:Peripatetic will win.
Hilarious Joke
475What do you call a bunch of advertising execs at a coke party ?
Frosted flakes...
Frosted flakes...
Marsupialized wrote:The last time I saw her, she had some Jewish bullshit going on
ubercat wrote:You're fucking cock-tease aren't you, you little minx.
Hilarious Joke
476I like my women like I like my coffee
Ground up in a bag in the freezer.
Ground up in a bag in the freezer.
Great Deceiver
Hilarious Joke
477How do you get a hippy girl pregnant?
Cum on her feet, and let the flies do the rest.
Cum on her feet, and let the flies do the rest.
Great Deceiver
Hilarious Joke
478m.koren wrote:What do you call a bunch of advertising execs at a coke party ?
Frosted flakes...
zing!
Here's a good one.
A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.
The cucumber says "I hate my life. When I get big, fat and juicy, they cut me up and put me in salad."
The olive says "That's nothing. When I get big, fat and juicy, they cut me up and put me on pizza."
The penis says "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat and juicy, they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, and push me till I throw up."
Life...life...I know it's got its ups and downs.
Groucho Marx wrote:Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
Hilarious Joke
479SecondEdition wrote:Hendrix kind of laughs and says, "No man, that's God. He just thinks he's Bono."
Made my day.
Marsupialized wrote:The last time I saw her, she had some Jewish bullshit going on
ubercat wrote:You're fucking cock-tease aren't you, you little minx.
Hilarious Joke
480Pasta wrote:I like my women like I like my coffee
Ground up in a bag in the freezer.
reminds me of:
1.) an eddie izzard joke.
"i like my coffee like i like my women. named betty."
2.) a norm macdonald joke.
(ala the dating game) if i was a popsicle what would you do to me?
first, i'd take off your wrapper. then i'd grab you by the sticks. then i break you in half on the counter, eat one half and put the other half back in the freezer.