Social Anxiety
2juice wrote:Does anyone here have social anxiety? What do you do to deal with it?
Drink alone.
Thorogood style.
Social Anxiety
3I had this very badly during my late teenage years, and still get it sometimes.
You can go down the route of medication, depending on how bad you have it, but I would see that as a last resort if things get really bad.
If you just feel a bit anxious in social situations, I'd simply recommend trying to conquer it head on (even if the thought panics you). It might be frightening but fuck it, everything is. Force yourself in to social situations - throw yourself in at the deep end. Have a beer or two to lubricate the system (but don't drink too much as it will only make things worse - hangovers massively increase social anxiety).
If you're having full-blown panic attacks, then I'd recommend several things:
- Make sure you get enough exercise. This will help.
- Consider meditation and breathing exercises.
- Talk to your family or closest friends about it.
- Buy some self-help books - there's some good ones out there.
- If things are going really bad, be sure to go and see a doctor, with a view to perhaps seeing a counsellor or specialist in cognitive behaviour therapy.
I had all these problems when I decided to quit a pretty massive (25 grammes a week) weed habit six years ago. They still linger from time to time now. If you're smoking weed or taking any other drugs recreationally, you should consider stopping now or it'll only make things worse.
You can go down the route of medication, depending on how bad you have it, but I would see that as a last resort if things get really bad.
If you just feel a bit anxious in social situations, I'd simply recommend trying to conquer it head on (even if the thought panics you). It might be frightening but fuck it, everything is. Force yourself in to social situations - throw yourself in at the deep end. Have a beer or two to lubricate the system (but don't drink too much as it will only make things worse - hangovers massively increase social anxiety).
If you're having full-blown panic attacks, then I'd recommend several things:
- Make sure you get enough exercise. This will help.
- Consider meditation and breathing exercises.
- Talk to your family or closest friends about it.
- Buy some self-help books - there's some good ones out there.
- If things are going really bad, be sure to go and see a doctor, with a view to perhaps seeing a counsellor or specialist in cognitive behaviour therapy.
I had all these problems when I decided to quit a pretty massive (25 grammes a week) weed habit six years ago. They still linger from time to time now. If you're smoking weed or taking any other drugs recreationally, you should consider stopping now or it'll only make things worse.
Rick Reuben wrote:He went to bed about a decade ago, or whenever he sold his soul to the bankers and the elites.daniel robert chapman wrote:I think he's gone to bed, Rick.
Social Anxiety
4I did in my late teens too a bit, and even recently I had a little panic attack in a work meeting as I'm sometimes really not comfortable speaking formally in front of lots of people (informally I'm fine!). Anxiety is a tricky thing, what helped me handle meetings if I felt panicky was to exhale as much as possible and hold your breath for a while, this slows down your heart-pump and can relax things - enough to be able to speak.
Social Anxiety
5i'm 29 and i still get in total shutdown, everyone-is-looking-at-me, everyone-is-making-fun-of-me panic attack mode in crowded places.
it hasn't gotten any better. i will say this though- along the lines of "throw yourself into the deep end and confront the fear," i took a public speaking course. that forced me to get up in front of a crowd, where people are HAVING to look at you. you can kinda get to a point where you fool yourself into thinking "these people aren't here to make fun- they're here to listen!"
and i can perform without too many issues. like, stand up and play guitar and sing. in front of 100 people or more easy. but you take me out of the spotlight and just plop me at one of those tables instead and it's a whole new ball game. i get the aforementioned feelings, and then the whole claustrophobia thing sets in.
to answer your direct question, i cope by just trying to focus on who i'm with. i'll go to an empty theater and see a dollar movie alone, but no way in hell i'm going to a bar without my lady or someone i'm really comfortable with. you just focus on those people who are close to you and love you, and you can just let the background fade into, well, just a background. when you get up to go get a drink, make it the most purposeful walk you've ever made. look at the bar and keep eye contact with the bar, and pray you don't make eye contact with anyone.
it doesn't help that i'm think i'm an ugly, hideous fuck either. if you are dashingly handsome i doubt you'd have these issues.
it hasn't gotten any better. i will say this though- along the lines of "throw yourself into the deep end and confront the fear," i took a public speaking course. that forced me to get up in front of a crowd, where people are HAVING to look at you. you can kinda get to a point where you fool yourself into thinking "these people aren't here to make fun- they're here to listen!"
and i can perform without too many issues. like, stand up and play guitar and sing. in front of 100 people or more easy. but you take me out of the spotlight and just plop me at one of those tables instead and it's a whole new ball game. i get the aforementioned feelings, and then the whole claustrophobia thing sets in.
to answer your direct question, i cope by just trying to focus on who i'm with. i'll go to an empty theater and see a dollar movie alone, but no way in hell i'm going to a bar without my lady or someone i'm really comfortable with. you just focus on those people who are close to you and love you, and you can just let the background fade into, well, just a background. when you get up to go get a drink, make it the most purposeful walk you've ever made. look at the bar and keep eye contact with the bar, and pray you don't make eye contact with anyone.
it doesn't help that i'm think i'm an ugly, hideous fuck either. if you are dashingly handsome i doubt you'd have these issues.
Social Anxiety
6I suffer from this too and have from around the age 15. I didn’t start to tackle it until I was in my mid 20’s and it had gotten progressively worse to that point. I actually failed my first attempt at university because I couldn’t handle walking into classroom/tutorial situations! (I’ve never admitted to that before). Simmo’s advice is really good.
A lot of dealing with it is just practice – you need to stop yourself withdrawing from situations that are uncomfortable. Backing away/backing out will make it more difficult next time.
Try to remember that almost everybody has some level of anxiety in social situations. I know that’s the kind of crappy thing people tried to help me by saying, but it’s true. When you walk into a room half the people there are going through the same crap that you are dealing with. That’s what all that inane small talk is about when people get together… They might look like they’re discussing the weather or what transport they got there using etc. But really they’re just trying establish a foothold in the situation, sizing it all up, reassuring themselves that they can talk without making a fool of themselves, trying to establish whether the know anyone there etc.
The thing that got me to the point where I realised I needed to do sumat was that at 24 a friend asked me to be his best man. There was no way I could say no to him – but at the same time there was nothing that terrified me more than facing a room full of people and making speech. I did an ok job in the end – but I didn’t eat or drink for a full 2 days before the wedding. The scale of my freak-out was so huge compared to the actual event. So I set about gradually getting used to doing stuff like that – I still freak a bit when I have to present or attend a meetings and speak. But I’ve gotten beyond the point of being unable to eat/sleep/talk leading up to them… which feels nice – it’s progress at least. I would love to be one of those folks who was really relaxed in those situations. Maybe one day.
A lot of dealing with it is just practice – you need to stop yourself withdrawing from situations that are uncomfortable. Backing away/backing out will make it more difficult next time.
Try to remember that almost everybody has some level of anxiety in social situations. I know that’s the kind of crappy thing people tried to help me by saying, but it’s true. When you walk into a room half the people there are going through the same crap that you are dealing with. That’s what all that inane small talk is about when people get together… They might look like they’re discussing the weather or what transport they got there using etc. But really they’re just trying establish a foothold in the situation, sizing it all up, reassuring themselves that they can talk without making a fool of themselves, trying to establish whether the know anyone there etc.
The thing that got me to the point where I realised I needed to do sumat was that at 24 a friend asked me to be his best man. There was no way I could say no to him – but at the same time there was nothing that terrified me more than facing a room full of people and making speech. I did an ok job in the end – but I didn’t eat or drink for a full 2 days before the wedding. The scale of my freak-out was so huge compared to the actual event. So I set about gradually getting used to doing stuff like that – I still freak a bit when I have to present or attend a meetings and speak. But I’ve gotten beyond the point of being unable to eat/sleep/talk leading up to them… which feels nice – it’s progress at least. I would love to be one of those folks who was really relaxed in those situations. Maybe one day.
Social Anxiety
7I thought I had it too but I found that it wasn't me it was the shitty people I was hanging around. Go get some new unshitty people.
Social Anxiety
8I mostly get it bad in social situations like larger parties or around new people. I think to a small degree, it is boredom, in the sense that if I don't have somebody I know with me or something coherent going on to focus on, I tend to freak out. I still throw myself out in the deep end, but that hasn't really changed anything. The only time I think I have actually had a panic attack though was when I went to a club (mostly out of respect for some friends) and my chest started tightening up. The most frustrating part about it for me is meeting new people. Being social, making new friends, and going on dates tends to be a nightmare or an extremely slow process. I don't want to get medicated for this, although a couple of drinks helps once in a while-I don't want to become dependent on that though.
For what it's worth, I think my dad has it too. For the past 9 years especially, he's seemed isolated from most people, even my mom, aunts and uncles, people he works with, etc..., like he doesn't have anyone that's really just a friend.
For what it's worth, I think my dad has it too. For the past 9 years especially, he's seemed isolated from most people, even my mom, aunts and uncles, people he works with, etc..., like he doesn't have anyone that's really just a friend.
Social Anxiety
9i have general anxiety disorder, it was definitely the worst in social situations. i take 10mg/day of lexapro, a selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor. it basically stops your brain from using up all its serotonin at once to keep you on a more even keel.
it's worked wonders for me but i've heard from others who haven't had any luck with it.
it's worked wonders for me but i've heard from others who haven't had any luck with it.
Social Anxiety
10I had social anxiety pretty bad for a while and I'm happier than ever to be (mostly) through with it.
What worked wonders for me was getting a job where had to deal with people all day long. It sucked for a couple weeks but after a while I got used to it and didn't mind being in social situations. I would highly recommend this over medication.
Also exercising, eating right, and plenty of water!
What worked wonders for me was getting a job where had to deal with people all day long. It sucked for a couple weeks but after a while I got used to it and didn't mind being in social situations. I would highly recommend this over medication.
Also exercising, eating right, and plenty of water!