burun wrote:I have a spare key to the office, but it was on my house keychain, which was in my coat pocket. The coat was on the back of my chair. In my office.

I am home now, finally, and I still feel like crying.

This is a special kind of sad. This is the "I have done something for which I will soon be yelled at" sad.

Even if there isn't a chance in hell that I will be yelled at, sometimes I get this anyway, because of some atavistic memory of a behavior pattern from when I was just a wee sprat.

Speeding tickets, breaking something expensive, fender benders- all of these things makes me feel like "I AM SUCH AN IDIOT" and I walk around with this big, blue ball of rainwater and stones in my chest for hours.

Hey, Jodi- no big deal. You made a perfectly human and completely normal mistake. I'd drive three hours to let you into your office if I was your coworker. Seriously. You're not an idiot and you don't make a habit of this sort of thing, so I am sure it's fine with everyone. eventually, you'll find an opportunity to pay it forward.

And now, a joke:

A guy comes home from the bar one night, thoroughly drunk. He walks into his house, and under his arm he's carrying a duck. He stands there in the doorway, gently swaying and says "Well.... this here's the pig I've been fucking."

His wife looks up from the couch and says "That's not a pig, it's a duck."

And the guys says... "I wasn't talking to you."

I don't feel great today, but that whole hippo exchange has made me feel a little better.

Salut, hippos!

Edited, ignore.

offal wrote:Holy fuck, I just found this looking for that haggis photo. Wow.

There are some impressively random thinkers out there. The link between real haggis and butterscotch flavour gummy haggis? Is haggis such a big deal with kids that someone thought they needed to fill that gap in the market with a sweet non-stomachy although-similarly-gummy erm butterscotch-y version?

Just when you feel ready to write off your species as a shabby tribe of vicious dead-eyed fucks, someone will invent a new flavour of gummi-haggis.

Happy Friday, one and all!

simmo wrote:I don't feel great today, but that whole hippo exchange has made me feel a little better.

Salut, hippos!

DRC! That's where they are! The Hippo Exchange!



I have also really enjoyed the hippo story.

New washing machine at work (at Job #1)!

I am excited.

Now the towels we use in the darkroom will smell less like D-76 and more like Arm & hammer.

If someone wants to send me one of thos butterscotch Haggis-es, that would be cool.

Um, let's go to Ace Hardware and get that done today during our lunch break, shall we?

I spent the first half of my day on site with a client. The idea behind this was to get us some 'face time' to help alleviate 'pain points' that have developed over the last few months. Pain point number one? One of their sales guys and his relationship with, well, anyone that isn't on the same rung of the bullshit ladder as him. I got it in the ear today. He spent the entire morning calling me a 'fucking twat' and at lunchtime topped it all of with a casually flung 'cunt'.

This has initiated a chain of events that I never really anticipated. The CEO and the head of sales issued profuse apologies, I've had to give a statement to their HR department and they're suggesting that this is it for the sales guy - he's out.

I fear for my balls.

daniel robert chapman wrote:Okay, Electrical Forum. Somewhere in my city are two hippos.

How do I find them?

Starting at 3:03, National Geographic will tell you how to build a world-class hippo decoy. This sounds like it is narrated by Hulk Hogan. Why is nature so macho now?

After doing this, use your city planning skills to find any places permitted to have ponds or water gardens, etc. large enough to find our friends.
Then you can stroll in without much risk and invite them out for a drink.

Maybe bring a cake?


If this is all too much trouble, maybe just stroll around with your ears open listening for large, wet snarfling sounds through stone walls this weekend.

Rimbaud III wrote:I spent the first half of my day on site with a client. The idea behind this was to get us some 'face time' to help alleviate 'pain points' that have developed over the last few months. Pain point number one? One of their sales guys and his relationship with, well, anyone that isn't on the same rung of the bullshit ladder as him. I got it in the ear today. He spent the entire morning calling me a 'fucking twat' and at lunchtime topped it all of with a casually flung 'cunt'.

This has initiated a chain of events that I never really anticipated. The CEO and the head of sales issued profuse apologies, I've had to give a statement to their HR department and they're suggesting that this is it for the sales guy - he's out.

I fear for my balls.

My first instinct was to suggest that you stitch the bastard up as wickedly as possible. But you probably handled it right: with grace. He sounds like a disgusting individual who's probably going to wank himself half to death on a coke binge tonight. Good riddance to him.

And pour yourself a stiff drink when you get home.