"that's what friends are for" with dionne, elton and all.
"you're a friend of mine" by jackson brown and clarence clemons
"from a distance," bette midler
"still crazy after all these years," paul simon.
"kokomo," beach boys, but written by papa john phillips (wtf?)

as they say, kick ass

Just like the guys at work. The hillbilly deathstar. I work in a machine shop and I must hear Zeppelin 10 times a day on numerous classic rock CD compilations. These mongoloids just figured out how to burn CD's and steal music from the "internet". ("internet" being said with a backward ass hick drawl) Not to insinuate that all Zeppelin fans are mongoloids. I know they are not.

While this was probably stated to cause an obvious confrontation, I will calmly explain that this statement is, in fact, incorrect.

No, GCVB I wish not to get into a pissing match about Led Zeppelin, I get enough of that at work.

By submitting the idea that "ANY 5 SONGS" are applicable, you grossly overexaggerate your filter.

No , Not overexagerated, any 5 by Zeppelin, any 5 by Dave Mathews equals ten. 5+5= 10. right? You pick. I hate them all. Or am I missing something? Please explain, I have a hard time with directions when it comes to music I can't stand.

For example, by using your criteria, you include the break in the Led Zeppelin song "In My time of dying," which is quite enjoyable and, as they say, kick ass

No, I really hate any Zeppelin song. Any part. Anything that Robert Plant is associated with in any way. ( for example, if he is listed on the album/CD, I hate it.) Sorry, I just can't stand him. If they were an instrumental group I would really enjoy them. I feel almost the same way about the Rolling Stones, the Doors, and numerous other bands with the over the top, pretentious cock rockin vocalists. I will say though that Robert Plant is at the top of my list . Sorry. I think he is a blow hard. How many shots of his genitalia do we really need in every peice of Zeppelin concert footage. Even Tommy Lee isn't that in love with his wanker. So that is my criteria. Vocals, and or Vocalists usually ruin a perfectly good song. Specifically when they are so so so very sexy and in love with themself. I Just wish every singer was more like Bon Scott. (That was stated to cause an obvious confrontation)

Pretty much every song on this list, and every song mentioned by everyone so far, I like.
Except that one by the Spin Doctors.

Ta.

∞-9. McCartney and Wonder (thanks mattw), "Ebony and Ivory"
∞-8. Anytime Garrison Keillor sings on Prairie Home Companion
∞-7. Foreigner, "I Want to Know What Love Is" (though at the gym they play a diva house version of this, which I can see working in a diva house way for the diva house audience)
∞-6. Steve Miller's post-"Livin' in the USA" work (although the Killdozer version of "Take the Money and Run" is perfect)
∞-5. The Eagles, "Hotel California"
∞-4. Starship, "We Built This City on Rock 'n' Roll"
∞-3. Abba, "Dancing Queen"
∞-2. The Starland Vocal Band, "Afternoon Delight"
∞-1. Minnie Ripperton, "Lovin' You"

And down at the absolute bottom, we have
∞. John Ashcroft, "Let the Eagle Soar"

That was McCartney and Wonder, btw




I've been convinced for awhile now that "Peaceful Easy Feeling" by The Eagles is the song that will greet you at the gates of hell when you die.

Other than that, here's what we're looking at:

1."Cotton Eye Joe" Rednex
2."Wind Beneath My Wings" Bette Midler
3."I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" Aerosmith (tie) w/ "Knockin' On Heavens Door" as done by Guns N' Roses
4."Everything I Do (I Do It For You) Bryan Adams
5."One Week" or "Pinch Me" Barenaked Ladies
6. "Kiss Kiss Kiss" Yoko Oh No
7. "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" Culture Club
8. "Papa Don't Preach" Madonna
9."To Be With You" Mr. Big
10."Two Princes" Spin Doctors

Honorable mentions:

i)I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign...
ii) Lenny Kravitz: version of "American Woman", "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" "I Want To Get Away (I Want to Flyyyyyy Away) [Yeah, Yeah...Yeah]
iii) Tear my life into pieces! This is my last resort!

mattw wrote:That was McCartney and Wonder, btw

Ah, you're right! I've conflated it with that other bad McCartney collaboration. Damn, now I have two bad songs in my head.

I'll have to take some cues from previous lists, and some of my own:

Beach Boys - Kokomo
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
Who the fuck cares - Macarena
Crappy Darryl Worley "Patriotic" Song
Crappy Toby Keith "Patriotic" Song
Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now (theme from Mannequin)
4 Non Blondes - What's Up
Extreme - Hole Hearted
Green Day - I hope you had the time of your life
Eagles - The Best of My Love*

*Although this song is horrible, it's not quite bad enough to really make it on the list on its own. However, I felt it was important that the Eagles be represented, so I put down the worst Eagles song that came to mind.

Also, I'd have to say that "The Heat is On" is worse than "All She Wants to do is Dance" for a few reasons:
1. I think it is possible, theoretically, possibly under laboratory conditions, to do a decent cover of "Dance" - I'm not so sure about "Heat".
2. Car and truck commercials assault me with "Heat", and although a commercial could assault me with "Dance", I can't think of any that have.
3. Don Henley once joined Mojo Nixon on stage, uninvited, to sing along with Nixon's hit "Don Henley Must Die". Although this doesn't make Henley's song any better, it makes me feel better when I hear it than I otherwise would.

Glenn Miller, "Moonlight Serenade" - If I hear it one more time, I'll punch the first senior citizen I see.

Anything by Jimmy Buffett

Toby Keith, "I Love This Bar" - I just want to drink. Fuck this bar and fuck this song.

"Showdown," R Kelly feat. Ron Isley - I was working in a music store when this came out and wished day in day out that they'd just send R Kelly to the chair. This song is a getto cowboy epic. Kind of like "Cold Cold Water" without the lesbians.

P. Diddy, "Bad Boy For Life"...or anything that comes out of his mouth, really. See story above.

El Guapo.

Our Lady Peace's cover of "Tomorrow Never Knows" - Yes, this happened.

the Rent soundtrack.

Nu-Metal in general, particularly all of it.

"Freebird"

"MmmBop"

My brother and i have these kind of debates quite often. It always seems that the tape player in our car only wants to malfunction when we are on a long journey together and we subject ourselves to the radio sometimes in these desperate times of need. This is when we really seem to hear the songs that can push us well and truly over the edge.

I find it almost shocking that the following have not been mentioned.

'Walking in Memphis' by Marc Cohn
'Mary's Prayer' by Danny Wilson
'God Gave Rock 'n' Roll to You' by Rod Argent (beast) or Kiss
'Breakout' by Swing Out Sister
'Englishman in New York' by Sting
'Another Day in Paradise' by Phil Collins
Anything by Mase
'Man i feel Like a Woman' etc etc etc by Shania Twain
I will also second, third, whatever for those bastardos the Spin Doctors and New Radicals.

But i cannot finish without bringing the undisputed king of them all to everyone's attention.........
'Walk of Life' by Dire Straits



I was also gonna say 'Glory Days' by Bruce Springsteen, but somehow i always manage to find a way to forgive the Boss, so i let that one slide.