I wish I had some sort of device that would amplify the sound and smell of my farts, I dream of farts so loud they set off car alarms 2 blocks over. Farts that smell so putrid the buildings I set them off in are abandoned and demolished soon after.
If I had three wishes that's one of them.

ERawk wrote:

Marsupialized wrote:I wish I had some sort of device that would amplify the sound and smell of my farts, I dream of farts so loud they set off car alarms 2 blocks over. Farts that smell so putrid the buildings I set them off in are abandoned and demolished soon after.
If I had three wishes that's one of them.

Goddamn Sup, with that story you remind me of one of the neighborhood kids who would go out of his way to let out a loud, smelly fart whenever a bunch of us were hanging out. He always did the safety bit.

Are you sure your name isn't Keith (who also had the nickname of Queef)?

Sounds like a fine young man with good head on his shoulders, why wouldn't you fart at the girls if you were capable of doing so?
Think about it, you are still talking about it years and years later. The man knew what he was doing, I bet you will remember him and his farts for the rest of your life whether you want to or not.

I often release a few ass-ninjas at work (sbd, dude), and take pleasure in crop dusting my co-workers

I hate to toot my own horn (no pun intended) but I honestly think that I am in the world class when it comes to belching. I would feel absolutely confident in my chances of, if not winning placing very high, upon entering some sort of world championships on belching, I really would. I got power, length, volume, control...the total package.

Y'know...sometimes I have to wonder if Booger, from Revenge of the Nerds, has taken over the profiles of some of us.

ERawk wrote:Girls fart, burp, and poop.

Do not!


Little pink faeries wielding feather dusters and diamond encrusted buckets visit your assholes at 3 AM gently sweeping out any offending fecal matter.

Farts are forcibly pushed out the wrong way by penises; God's little joke.

I'll give you burps. A burping girl is a happy girl. But your butts are like gossamer skin flaps that don't do anything dirty.

what's the safety bit? when you tell someone to pull your finger?

eliya wrote:what's the safety bit? when you tell someone to pull your finger?

Read this

thanks!
I tried looking it up at UD by safety bit.

Marsupialized wrote:I wish I had some sort of device that would amplify the sound and smell of my farts, I dream of farts so loud they set off car alarms 2 blocks over. Farts that smell so putrid the buildings I set them off in are abandoned and demolished soon after.
If I had three wishes that's one of them.

I wanna foof in a plane and make the masks come down.