All I can say is that I am glad Christiano Ronaldo isn't scoring any goals right now. If he were to break both Viollet and Law's records this season, I would have to quit watching football.

Obviously it was good to see the Dirty Reds take defeat with their customary good grace; Rio Ferdinand kicked a female steward (alright, he didn't mean it), and several players were involved in an 'altercation with groundstaff' when asked to move during their warmdown. Classy.



Carlos Quieroz's assessment of the past week's refereeing: "Something is wrong with football." What the fuck?! What, not enough 'Ferguson time' being awarded?

Much as I hate Chelsea, I would be delighted to watch the Stretford Rangers return to the Theatre of Wet Dreams empty handed this season.

Meanwhile, Leeds' win at Yeovil has guaranteed a place in the play-offs, regardless of the fifteen point decision. That's some achievement.

Conspiracy theory abound!

May 1st - Leeds have their fifteen point penalty revoked. This puts us one point behind alleged 'Champions' Swansea.
May 3rd - Leeds thrash Gillingham, ending the season on 91 points. Swansea stumble against Brighton thanks to a late hat-trick from Ian Westlake, on loan from Leeds Utd. Swansea finish the season on a paltry 89 points. Leeds are crowned Champions of League One.

Are you going to the Gillingham match, DRC?

Also, with regards to the Premiership title race. A few pages back, I pipped Chelsea to win the league on the grounds that I expected them to beat Wigan, who they only managed a draw with. I knew they were going to beat Man Utd at Stamford Bridge but the draw at Wigan was something of a surprise. I guarantee Chelsea will beat Bolton on the last day of the season.

Manchester United have to beat Wigan on the last day of the season. Close observers may notice that Wigan are unbeaten at home in seven games. They have held Arsenal and Chelsea to a draw recently. Wigan are a decent side but the real reason is that nobody can play football on their pitch. It's a fucking quagmire. It's being used as a Rugby pitch during the week. Imagine Christiano Ronaldo trying to dance around on a peat bog. Imagine 'Sir' Alex Ferguson's face as he inspects the turf.

It's not over, that's for sure!

daniel robert chapman wrote:Carlos Quieroz's assessment of the past week's refereeing: "Something is wrong with football." What the fuck?! What, not enough 'Ferguson time' being awarded?

Much as I hate Chelsea, I would be delighted to watch the Stretford Rangers return to the Theatre of Wet Dreams empty handed this season.

Quieroz defintiely deserves this thread's "Apt Pupil" award for this season. He is now exactly like Ferguson, but more so.

I dislike Chelsea intensely - I spent much of the Champions League game this week trying to work out if there were any players in the premieship I dislike more than Terry, A Cole, Drogba and Lampard (and having decided no, moved onto putting that foursome in order of contemptibility) - and so was rooting for them to get fuck all, but as drc points out, United getting bupkis has its own special compensations.

Me, I was hoping for a red mist to descend over Norway this weekend, resulting in a massive surge in bookings, thus putting England ahead of our Norwegian cousins in the Fair Play league, and increasing MCFC's chances of scraping (in a wholly unlikely and unfair manner) into Europe. Then we conspired to throw away a 2-0 lead to Fulham. Arse. Two fat arses on a park bench, in drainpipe hipsters.

Rest easy, fair Norwegians. Lay down your cudgels, scything tackles and 14-man punch ups. End your season in the noble spirit with which you began it.

Tommy - no, I'm not going to the Gillingham match. I was taken by surprise when it sold out - the upper tier of the East Stand will be open for the first time in two seasons as well. The only game I've been to this season was Forest away with the Family Simson. I've got my eye on a play-off semi final though, depending on dependences.

The Dirty Reds might have the easier looking run in but it was West Ham that did them in 1992, and are a bogey for that lot, and Tommy's right about Wigan away. It basically comes down to who I will enjoy losing more. Chelsea were written off already so I don't imagine there'll be much visible heartbreak to enjoy; if Chelsea lose then Drogba will leave, Grant'll be sacked, Terry will look noble - much the same as if they win. The sheer levels of hilarious rage if Scum throw it away are just such an enticing prospect - I mean, they've already started - I can't help but hope Chelsea do it.

Oh, and come on Barcelona!

lunacy

It would seem that Thaksin Shinawatra not only abuses human rights, but employment rights too. What an absolute chump.

simmo wrote:lunacy

It would seem that Thaksin Shinawatra not only abuses human rights, but employment rights too. What an absolute chump.

Maybe Ronaldinho told Sinatra he's not playing for Sven.

tommydski wrote:It's not over, that's for sure!

Haha, Steve Bruce has become somewhat of a cult hero for my friends and me.

"We've given wirselves one hell of a chance"
"We've worked ever-so-hard"
"That's for sure"

Steve Bruce.

I agree 100% with Daniel Robert Chapman with regards to the Premiership. The SPL (apart from the ludicrous "Split") is looking pretty tasty on the run-in too.

There is every chance that Hearts will finish with more points than a team above them in the league.

Also, Arthur Boruc, goalkeeper of Celtic, I think you are maybe quite funny guy maybe. At least you will have annoyed some Rangers fans.

Listening to Man U V Barca.

Alan Green and Mark Lawrenson - what a combination. They make me hate football*. Self-righteous, lifeless, smug, conservative fuckers. Moaning arses, desperate to prove how right they are. Come the glorious day, those two cunts'll be hurried to damn near the front of the queue, if I have anything to do with it.


* Them and Thaksin Shinawatra. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

Can we not just finish the season now? No good will come of persisting with it...

(Kicks dog. Tamps down pipe tobacco a tad too roughly. Writes pompous letter to The Times. Tears it up, finishes whisky, stares morosely into middle distance)