Apologies if there's already a thread for this. If so, kerble away. I tried doing a search for "dick moves," but it did not go so well.
Okay, so I want to hear about some dick moves that you have pulled, that you later felt bad about. Here are two examples that I'm offering up.
1.) Three or so years ago, my former band was invited to play a show in a small town in Washington. Seeing as we had to take a ferry, spend the night, (the ferry stopped running at something ridiculous, like 10:30 pm) and take a ferry home, I felt more than justified in asking for a $150 guarantee, which we got. Anyway, we got to the show and during the first few bands, the promoter-type guy (the dad of one of the other band's members) was running total rockstar lights for the bands while doing sound. I'm not that into it. I tell him, "Hey, man. Can you just have on a low steady red light while we play? Our bass player is epileptic." He then tells me, "No problem, I figured you guys wouldn't want them." At this point I have a vague recollection of telling this guy the exact same thing a little more than a year previous, the last time we played in this town with his daughter's band. With a different bass player.
2.) On the ride to practice last Sunday, I forced my bandmate to listen to AC/DC's For Those About To Rock, telling him, "No, this is a really good album. In fact this is the last good AC/DC album." I hadn't listened to For Those About To Rock in probably a good four years. My memory of the album was way better than the music actually was. Aside from the title track (which admittedly, is fucking awesome, and I will put up against any other song in AC/DC's catalog) For Those About To Rock sucks a big ol' dong. I turned it off after "Evil Walks," and we listened to the Breeders instead. Sorry Adam.
Dick moves you have pulled.
2I got my dick to spin around continuously at least 100 times jumping up and down on a crappy mattress. Each rotation was completely fluid.
kerble wrote:Ernest Goes to Jail In Your Ass
Dick moves you have pulled.
5I'd say that if asking for a red light and asking to listen to an album are the worst you can come up with, you're a pretty nice guy! The beginning of the "ferry" story suggests someone is going to get stranded til the next morning.
Dick moves you have pulled.
6The wife insisted on listening to The Cardigans on a recent road trip instead of the mix CD I had made that had something for everyone. "You can play that next" said she. Instead, I popped in some Hoagy Carmichael just to piss her off.
Great album by the way.
Great album by the way.
Robert Anton Wilson wrote:The totally convinced and the totally stupid have too much in common for the resemblance to be accidental
Dick moves you have pulled.
7From the "dick moves I performed more than 20 years ago" file...
I broke up with a girl that I had been seeing for about 8 months. She mentioned that she had been feeling the same way. I was 19 and didn't get the "putting on a brave face" act.
A week later I hooked up with a young devotchka at a party that my ex was attending. I was caught lacking protection and asked the ex for a rubber. She looked at me wounded and said that she didn't have one. I reminded her that she usually kept spares in the key compartment of her purse and even reached in and pulled one out.
While I was enjoying myself in a back bedroom, the ex had a meltdown in front of the entire party, relating the story, drunkenly declaring her love and calling me a heartless prick.
Incident still makes me cringe... And, yeah, I know better now.
I broke up with a girl that I had been seeing for about 8 months. She mentioned that she had been feeling the same way. I was 19 and didn't get the "putting on a brave face" act.
A week later I hooked up with a young devotchka at a party that my ex was attending. I was caught lacking protection and asked the ex for a rubber. She looked at me wounded and said that she didn't have one. I reminded her that she usually kept spares in the key compartment of her purse and even reached in and pulled one out.
While I was enjoying myself in a back bedroom, the ex had a meltdown in front of the entire party, relating the story, drunkenly declaring her love and calling me a heartless prick.
Incident still makes me cringe... And, yeah, I know better now.
Robert Anton Wilson wrote:The totally convinced and the totally stupid have too much in common for the resemblance to be accidental
Dick moves you have pulled.
8J. Burns wrote:
A couple of not dick moves.
Man, you're fine. Nothing you wrote qualifies as a dick move.
My buddy tried one on me recently. He's buying the huge four-hondo condo and decided that his perfectly good gas grill wasn't good enough for his new place and that he needed a new shiny one. He said I could have his old one, but that he wouldn't transport it in his van for me, knowing I had no way to move it myself. He was real keen on the idea of me wheeling it the mile between our houses. He fell in love with this idea, and swore multiple times that this was how it was going to happen. I really wanted the grill, but wasn't about to try to wheel it a mile, so I decided to put the top down in my jeep and just throw it on top.
I showed up to his house, and he thought he was helping me wheel it to the sidewalk to push home, and I said nope. lets throw it up in the jeep. It actually ended up just barely fitting. He seemed a real disappointed.
Him not helping me with his van was a dick move.
I've seen the bridges burning in the night.
Dick moves you have pulled.
10I'm not sure if this counts.
I recently sold my guitar pedals to a friend of mine. I don't see him much these days as he goes back and forth from being a nice guy to being an immature twat. He started playing guitar last year and despite being awful he's spent quite a bit of money on guitars and an amp.
The pedals are worth quite a bit less now than when I bought them a few years ago. I asked him for £200, since he could probably buy them brand new for £250. He said do I want 250? I said no, 200 is fine. He said yeah but I'll give you 250. Eventually I accepted it. I mean, he was offering, right?
My brother couldn't believe I'd ripped him off. But he ripped himself off, I just agreed to it.
Anyway, I wasted the money on shitty pedals that I hate so all's well that ends well.
I recently sold my guitar pedals to a friend of mine. I don't see him much these days as he goes back and forth from being a nice guy to being an immature twat. He started playing guitar last year and despite being awful he's spent quite a bit of money on guitars and an amp.
The pedals are worth quite a bit less now than when I bought them a few years ago. I asked him for £200, since he could probably buy them brand new for £250. He said do I want 250? I said no, 200 is fine. He said yeah but I'll give you 250. Eventually I accepted it. I mean, he was offering, right?
My brother couldn't believe I'd ripped him off. But he ripped himself off, I just agreed to it.
Anyway, I wasted the money on shitty pedals that I hate so all's well that ends well.
simmo wrote:Someone make my carrot and grapefruits smoke. Please.