I used to want to own a bar, but after about two weeks of the 11 years I worked at my friend's place around Diversey and Western, I found out what a fucking task it is.

Anyway, I always wanted to have a brewpub called Christ's Ale House, with pictures on the walls of Jesus and the disciples quaffing pints and downing shots while getting lap dances and snorting 2ft. lines of kitchen cleanser. I wanted to make beers named Lazarus Lager and Pontius Pilate Pilsner.

Alas, I decided to stay in my secure municipal job.....

No Holes Bar

There was a bar in Houston in the 80's call "The Fast and Cool Club". I always thought it was a pretty good name.

Marsupialized wrote:How come no bars go all out with a theme anymore?

When Ave. A really went batshit with the bars about eight years ago, my friends and I were wondering what could be opened that would lose money in that neighborhood.

1. BANK BAR
It looks like a bank. The bar is behind bulletproof glass. It's as well lit as a bank. Extremely well lit. No seats.

You'd write your order on deposit slips. Of course the pens wouldn't work. You can't get a drink unless you have a slip.

We'd have that drive thru vacuum thing in the bar. You'd get drinks from the capsule.

There's no staff outside of the bulletproof glass, and they don't go out there. Trash, fights, etc. would have to wait until the end of the night.

At 4 am we'd set off those paint bombs in the drinking area to get everyone to clear out.

2. BRAD'S HOT N' FLAT
All the beer is hot n' flat. Like 80-90 degrees. Served in solo cups.

Every week there's new rare beers from around the world served hot n' flat.

No AC.

D.U.I. Fridays

Colonel Panic wrote:D.U.I. Fridays

Nice one

Moulin Booze

Colonel Panic wrote:D.U.I. Fridays

vockins wrote:1. BANK BAR
It looks like a bank. The bar is behind bulletproof glass. It's as well lit as a bank. Extremely well lit. No seats.

You'd write your order on deposit slips. Of course the pens wouldn't work. You can't get a drink unless you have a slip.

We'd have that drive thru vacuum thing in the bar. You'd get drinks from the capsule.

There's no staff outside of the bulletproof glass, and they don't go out there. Trash, fights, etc. would have to wait until the end of the night.

At 4 am we'd set off those paint bombs in the drinking area to get everyone to clear out.

There is a former bank building near me that has been the home of three different douchebag bars in the last 5-6 years; the first one, I'm not sure if it was bank-themed, exactly, as I never went in, but the name of it was the "Counterfeit Heist." And the sign had your standard eye-masked 'n' stripe-ed cartoon burglar holding the bag with "$" on it.

I see what they tried to do there, but think about the name for a second--why would you steal fake money? Oh, douchebags.

Colonel Panic wrote:D.U.I. Fridays

No one will top this.

Ever.

wasn't there a spy themed bar in Milwaukee? I remember being in one where there was something weird going on, maybe there were cameras all over or there was some thing where you sent secret messages to other tables or something....what was that? Anyone remember?