I'm watching it, so I'm getting full Tydesley treatment. I'm drinking Estrella Damm, brewed in Barcelona. I'm wearing a vintage C.F.B. pin badge. And after the opening goal I brought in this photograph of Cruyff that I have framed in the hall to watch it with me.



After you with the dog, Dudley.

One day, I am going to buy a football club in the Spanish Liga, and install myself as manager. I am going to retain the club's inevitable roster of average to very good forwards and attacking midfielders, and I am going to spend an average amount of money on four very good defenders and one very good goalkeeper.

My team will then walk that league, conceding no goals and losing no games, but get knocked out of the UEFA Cup by Blackburn Rovers at the quarter-final stage.

My point made, I will retire to the coast, and resist visiting pilgrims thirsty for my secret knowledge. The club will sell the four defenders and goalkeeper for a pittance and buy a load of strikers, and that season shall for ever be known as 'El Season Of Yorkshire Mystery'.

Gateshead are through to the Unibond Premier League Playoff Final.
Gateshead vBuxton (beaten 4-0 and 5-0 by Gatesghead already this season).
This Saturday, at home (one-leg only; the team that finished higher in the league gets to play at home),
3pm. 7 quid.

I urge all North Eastern readers to attend. It should be our biggest crowd for a long time.

Gateshead have now scored 95 goals this season. I'm backing them to hit the 100th on Saturday and retake our natural place in the bigtime (Blue Square North)

Vaguely related factoid - Ten Barcelona players were divorced this year.

simmo wrote:Ronaldo is having "psychological problems"

Nice spot. Hadn't seen anything about this. They're some serious eyebrows on the one brasser who wouldn't take the money. Serious eyebrows.

Heeby Jeeby wrote:

simmo wrote:Ronaldo is having "psychological problems"

Nice spot. Hadn't seen anything about this. They're some serious eyebrows on the one brasser who wouldn't take the money. Serious eyebrows.

What about the belly?! I'm struggling to believe that the poor bugger will ever be back to anything resembling match fitness. Stevenage Borough should wait about a year and then put it a bid for him.

simmo wrote:

Heeby Jeeby wrote:

simmo wrote:Ronaldo is having "psychological problems"

Nice spot. Hadn't seen anything about this. They're some serious eyebrows on the one brasser who wouldn't take the money. Serious eyebrows.

What about the belly?! I'm struggling to believe that the poor bugger will ever be back to anything resembling match fitness. Stevenage Borough should wait about a year and then put it a bid for him.

He was always a tubby looking player but that really is taking the literal biscuit.

On a weird side note there was a girl I knew a few years ago, drop dead fucking gorgeous girl who was approached in a bar in Spain by Ronaldo who asked to buy her a drink. She politely refused, not knowing who he was. After she found out who she'd just knocked back she was very proud and flattered. I wonder how flattered she is now that we all know his 'type'.

p.s. she didn't have a penis.

Reports suggest it was a damn good game last night - of course, I missed it, not being Sky-enabled.

Chelsea seem to have a lot of momentum and belief at the moment. I really feel that it's pretty evenly poised, both in the premier league and for the champions league final. Manchester United have been largely rubbish for the last month - I'm really not so sure they won't slip up.

I am envisaging a scenario whereby Avram Grant wins the Premier League and the Champions League, and is still sacked.

I listened to it on the radio - it did sound storming. Of course Lampard had 'score the winner' written all over his life last night, although Radio Five did raise the levels of mawk beyond the necessary (I don't think the fact the penalty was at the Matthew Harding Stand end was strictly relevant). Chelsea definitely have something going. As extra-time began, all the concern was the Chelsea would be tired from thrashing The Dirty Reds at the weekend but instead it was Gerrard who had cramp, Torres (who was rested at the weekend) who strained a hamstring and Chelsea who powered in two rapid goals.

Simmo, I think you might be right about the double, and about Grant.