http://music.guardian.co.uk/urban/story ... 08,00.html
entertaining read about 2 scots who faked being american to score a record deal.

Snap into a Be*stqueef. OHHH YEEAHH!

itchy mcgoo wrote:Be*stqueef is good.

"Enter the Be*stqueef contest now for your chance to win! Prizes include an Ibanez signed by Steve Vai, pantyliners, a home video recording system and blue lingerie!"

Send in your best home queef videos but hurry contest ends June 23rd!


Be*stqueef reserves the right to sell and distribute all Queef videos as they see fit.

What do you mean by fucked up, then? I was talking about the music taking a big, steaming dump. But I see your point.

The band that cut Metal Circus recorded Warehouse: Songs and Stories.

dabrasha wrote:Taking some liberties with your thread title, there was the instance of Capitol handing Thelonious Monster's Bob Forrest $500,000 for one record.

Bob spent very little on the record (Beautiful Mess), and spent the rest buying a nice house and a boatload of heroin. .

Back in 1989, a band I was in opened for Thelonious Monster; it was a college gig, and the kid running the show took Bob and the band out for dinner before they went on. The promoters let the TM guys have as many drinks with dinner as they wanted, and by the time they got to the hall, they were too drunk to stand up straight, let alone play. They accidentally blew out the PA system and ended up using the monitors as tweeters. What a disaster!

I always liked the story about All (you know, the former Descendents guys). They got signed to Interscope and got an advance in the high six figures. They built themselves a studio and recorded their album Pummel themselves. It came out and Interscope footed the bill for a tour. By the time they got home, Pummel had sank like a rock, since Interscope were busy with their Death Row hip-hop stuff at the time and didn't bother to promote any of their alt-rock signings. Interscope decided they screwed the pooch and not only let All out of their contract with no strings attached, but gave them the rights to Pummel as a going-away present. A friend of mine talked to Karl Alvarez about it, who said that while they ended up throwing away about two years of their lives dealing with a major, they got a studio and a decent paycheck for their troubles so they didn't have much to complain about.

Mark Lansing wrote:

dabrasha wrote:Taking some liberties with your thread title, there was the instance of Capitol handing Thelonious Monster's Bob Forrest $500,000 for one record.

Bob spent very little on the record (Beautiful Mess), and spent the rest buying a nice house and a boatload of heroin. .

Back in 1989, a band I was in opened for Thelonious Monster; it was a college gig, and the kid running the show took Bob and the band out for dinner before they went on. The promoters let the TM guys have as many drinks with dinner as they wanted, and by the time they got to the hall, they were too drunk to stand up straight, let alone play. They accidentally blew out the PA system and ended up using the monitors as tweeters. What a disaster!

I always liked the story about All (you know, the former Descendents guys). They got signed to Interscope and got an advance in the high six figures. They built themselves a studio and recorded their album Pummel themselves. It came out and Interscope footed the bill for a tour. By the time they got home, Pummel had sank like a rock, since Interscope were busy with their Death Row hip-hop stuff at the time and didn't bother to promote any of their alt-rock signings. Interscope decided they screwed the pooch and not only let All out of their contract with no strings attached, but gave them the rights to Pummel as a going-away present. A friend of mine talked to Karl Alvarez about it, who said that while they ended up throwing away about two years of their lives dealing with a major, they got a studio and a decent paycheck for their troubles so they didn't have much to complain about.

I think Royal Trux got a million bucks from Virgin. After doing Thank You with David Briggs, they bought a big house in rural Virginia, had Paul Oldham build them a home studio, and recorded Sweet Sixteen for cheap. I'm sure they made out like bandits.

Cave In

No discussion of this subject can be complete without mentioning them. They reached irrelevant status very quickly upon signing to a major.

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:I think Royal Trux got a million bucks from Virgin. After doing Thank You with David Briggs, they bought a big house in rural Virginia, had Paul Oldham build them a home studio, and recorded Sweet Sixteen for cheap. I'm sure they made out like bandits.

If they gave Royal fucking Trux a million bucks Beastqueef is good for at least 25 million

Jawbreaker.

I actually really like "Dear You," the record they did for Geffen, in terms of the songs, although some of the lyrics that I loved as an 18-year-old haven't aged as well as others. But that record still has moments.

While it is notas amazing as "24 Hour Revenge Therapy" in terms of songwriting, playing, or the overall sound (actually, the sound is pretty horrible), the songs are good enough to make it a really good record. I was listening to "Jet Black" via a mix tape in my car a few years ago, and my friend asked me if it was Alice in Chains. That really says something about how terrible the sound of the record is.

But yeah, I really like the record as a whole. I mention them as a major-label disaster due to the fact that they basically imploded within a year of that record coming out. Apparently they nearly broke up right after "24 Hour Revenge Therapy" too, so who's to say if they would have even lasted any longer anyway, but I'm sure that existing in the world of Geffen-ness didn't help matters.

And the main thing is that "Dear You" is a very good record, but could have been an absolutely awesome record if it hadn't been recorded to 1995 major label standards. The guitars barely even sound like guitars.