Now you can have one more chance to tell your poor unsaved friends and loved ones to repent while you're up in the sky dancing with Jesus!

www.youvebeenleftbehind.com

Services Overview

We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.

We give you 150mb of encrypted storage that can be sent to 12 possible email addresses, in Box #1. You up load any documents and choose which documents go to who. You can edit these documents at any time and change the addresses they will be sent to as needed. Box #1 is for personal private information such as "passwords" and letters to be sent to your closest lost relatives and friends.

We give you another 100mb. of unencrypted storage that can be sent to up to 50 email addresses, in Box #2. You can edit the documents and the addresses any time. Box #2 is for more generic documents to lost family & friends.

The cost is $40 for the first year. Re-subscription will be reduced as the number of subscribers increases. Tell your friends about You've Been left behind.

WHY?
We all have family and friends who have failed to receive the Good News of the Gospel.
The unsaved will be 'left behind' on earth to go through the "tribulation period" after the "Rapture". You remember how, for a short time, after (9/11/01) people were open to spiritual things and answers. (We are still singing "God Bless America" at baseballs' seventh inning stretch.) Imagine how taken back they will be by the millions of missing Christians and devastation at the rapture. They will know it was true and that they have blown it. There will be a small window of time where they might be reached for the Kingdom of God. We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and a plea to receive Christ one last time. You will also be able to give them some help in living out their remaining time. In the encrypted portion of your account you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorneys' (you won't be needing them any more, and the gift will drive home the message of love). There won't be any bodies, so probate court will take 7 years to clear your assets to your next of Kin. 7 years of course is all the time that will be left. So, basically the Government of the AntiChrist gets your stuff, unless you make it available in another way. You can also send information based on scripture as to what will happen next. Each fulfilled prophecy will cause your letter and plea to be remembered and a decision to be made.

"WHY" is one last chance to bring them to Christ and snatch them from the flames!

(I particularly like how they refer to "the email.")

I am so glad my grandmother can't figure out how to work the internet.

This is a joke.

SecondEdition wrote:This is a joke.

I wish it was, but it sure doesn't look like it. Some people trying to take advantage of stupid religious nutcases perhaps, but it seems pretty serious to me.

STEVE!

i found a place to sell my t-shirts! you want in?

andyk

Incornsyucopia wrote:In the encrypted portion of your account you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorneys' (you won't be needing them any more, and the gift will drive home the message of love).

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

"Yeah, we won't read your emails or anything. Totally secure, might as well include your SS# and debit card PIN as well"

I hope this is for real.

i think this has been posted before.

andteater wrote:STEVE!

i found a place to sell my t-shirts! you want in?

andyk

That was the first thing I thought when I saw the thread title. Somehow I don't think you'd have a big market there, though.

Here's a beauty:

http://datetosave.com/

...
Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I'm a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don't know is that I'm hot. My picture below isn't really that good. I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women (my sisters in Christ) to do the same, according to the Great Commission.

So, I created this web page for information regarding the calling of Missionary Dating. First of all, it helps that you're good looking. Romans 12:1 says "to offer your bodies as living sacrifices." Since our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), it makes sense that we should use our beautiful bodies to glorify HIS name, the Holy Spirit will work the strongest since He's in our body, right? That's the best position to be in!

Not only can we date hot guys (as only hot Christian girls could do), but hopefully we can lead them to God and help them get saved them from the burning fires of Hell. I've outlined a few tips to help you get a date off to the right start, step-by-step. Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!

Also, if you believe in this evangelistic dating ministry and feel led to support it, I have a few shirts and other stuff you can get to show your support. Click Here (thanks to Jeff for the cool pictures and setting up the store. He was my 3rd missionary date. I don't love him anymore, but Jesus still does). Oh, also thanks to Tony for helping me put together this web page for me. Sorry for being so internet dumb. He's so darling. Remember, Jesus loves you!


10 Christian Dating Tips for
Effective Missionary Dating

1. If he tells your that you are hot...
Tell him God made you hot.

2. If he wants to hold your hand...
Give him a Bible.

3. If he tries to get closer...
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.

4. If he asks to pay for dinner...
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!

5. If he reaches his arm around you...
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)

6. If he tries to kiss you...
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")

7. If he asks to come inside...
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.

8. If he tells you he loves you...
Tell him that Jesus loves him.

9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."

10. After you dump him...
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.

Fellow Hot Girls: You can get these Christian Dating Tips for easy reminder on a mini-poster print!


There's a Flirt to Convert dating site incorporated as well. Statement being, "saving people from hell one soul at a time".

They also have a shop where you can buy date to save thongs that no one will ever see.

Incornsyucopia wrote:

SecondEdition wrote:This is a joke.

I wish it was, but it sure doesn't look like it. Some people trying to take advantage of stupid religious nutcases perhaps, but it seems pretty serious to me.

Ask yourself how their computers, clearly being adminned by believers, will know that the Rapture has happened.

Now do you get it?