First of all, bit of a
Kerble.
Second of all, the greatest mixed drink is the martini. The only concession I would possibly make to this statement is that you cannot drink a martini in a warm/hot environment. But in a cool to cold place, it's unmatched.
The best thing about a martini is that it's a wonderful litmus test for the bar's ability to handle a classic drink. The second best thing about a martini is that it's an extremely effective method for delivering alcohol. And when I say extremely, I think there's no other drink that will get you as pleasantly (i.e. no shots of grain) drunk as quickly.
Some questions about the martini -
"What kind of martini?"
Shut up. There's only one kind of martini. Vodka, cranberry juice and Sara Jessica Parker have nothing to do with a martini.
"Who cares about a martini?"
Mencken – “…the only American invention as perfect as a sonnet.”
Dorothy Parker -
“I love to drink Martinis,
Two at the very most
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host.”
Bogart –
“I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis.” –
Note: These were his last words. BAD ASS.
Speaker of the House Jim Wright–
"If the Lord hadn't intended to have a three Martini lunch, then why do you suppose He put all those olive trees in the Holy Land?"
Also, Churchill, EB White, Jack London, FDR, RMN, Mae West, Hemingway and a host of others.
”How do you make a good martini?”
The secret to a good martini is very good gin and not much else. After trying about 20 different gins, I prefer Bombay Sapphire. Try others if you like, but remember that good gin in a martini is the equivalence of a good performance in a recording. Without it, you won’t get what you want. And there is no ProTools in drink making.
That said, you’ll need
- Some ice cubes and some crushed ice
- A stirrer
- A strainer
- A drink shaker
- A spotlessly clean martini glass
- Excellent gin
- Dry vermouth
- Three pitted non-canned olives (I like olives)
- Cold water
- A stopwatch
- Some salted, mixed nuts
Get everything prepped ahead of time, as the timing’s important on this.
1. Spear the olives.
2. Fill your martini glass about ¾ full of warm gin. Set aside.
3. Put one ice cube into the drink shaker. Pour in enough vermouth to handily coat the sides of the shaker when shaken – maybe two capfuls. Cap the shaker, shake vigorously and quickly dump the ice/vermouth mixture into the sink. Don’t wait for every last drop to come out, just quickly chuck it.
4. Fill the internally-coated shaker with ice cubes. Grab your martini glass and pour the gin into the shaker. Hit go on your stopwatch. Gently stir the gin/ice/vermouth mix for about 10 seconds.
5. Quickly rinse out your martini glass with water. Fill the martini glass with crushed ice. Gently top the glass off with more cold water and set by the sink.
6. Grab a handful of mixed nuts and eat them while looking at the stopwatch. At the one minute mark, stir again for 10 seconds.
7. At the 1:50 mark, dump the icewater into the sink and put the speared olives in the glass. Put the strainer over the shaker and slowly pour the mixture into the glass. As it approaches the tippy top, have a quick slurp (bringing your face to the glass) to make sure you can get most of the drink to fit.
8. Dump what’s left in the shaker into the sink. Slowly pick up the glass and look at it for a moment. It’s so pretty. Now have your first sip and feel the tension just slip away.
Don’t expect this treatment everywhere you order one. But think of the joy of making two of these when that special someone shows up at your home, coming in out of the rain. Turn to him or her and say, as Robert Benchley did to Ginger Rogers, “why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?”
Lucky bastard.
= Justin
