Everything about me is uncool and true.

I have been seriously thinking about this all day and I can't come up with anything.

**Edit**

I probably should have refrained from posting anything.

Ace wrote:and former prime minister Ehud Barak.

really? ha! cool!
Do you have other Israeli relatives?

eliya wrote:

Ace wrote:and former prime minister Ehud Barak.

really? ha! cool!
Do you have other Israeli relatives?

Some, but mostly through marriage.
It was weird because I went on a date in college a few years back with the son of the woman who broke up Ehud Barak's marriage. The whole thing was pretty strange.

I used to play little league baseball and was never any good. Played right field most of the time and did a shit load of striking out. A SHIT LOAD. (Learned a lot about this strange thing called "pussy" from some other dude who sat on the bench though!)

When I was 12 I got called into the school nurse's office for an eye test. She gave me the test and told me that I had very poor vision.

I was eventually fitted for glasses and accidentally brought them to little league practice one night. (I'd wear them on the way to school, take them off at school, and then put them on again once I was home.....made my mom happy, anyway).

My coach (a serious asshole with an unnaturally loud and hoarse voice) forced me to wear these god-awful looking glasses at practice one night and, all of a sudden, the phrase "keep your eye on the ball" meant something to me. I can remember the actual moment. While at bat, I could actually see the threads on the ball twisting in motion. It was no longer a black blur that whizzed past me but an actual, conquerable, rotating sphere that followed patterns. I was able to knock the living fuck out of this ball. In fact, it was almost easy.

I was a pretty small kid but I'll be god damned if I didn't smash that fucking ball whenever I was up. And as long as those specs were on, I was nearly unstoppable at bat. And everyone knew it.

I got the most-improved player that year and my team took second place. You know those movies that choke you up when they show the kid on the shoulders of his teammates? That was me for a few weeks. No shit. That was my last year of baseball though. I think I got introduced to Iron Maiden and pot after that.


I no longer wear glasses. Can't stand 'em.

When I was seven years old I had a part in a school play and performed in front of a few hundred people (all parents I guess) at Fairfield Halls in Croydon. I was one of the Roman soldiers escorting Jesus to Golgotha. This might be an invention of my sick imagination, but I remember having to mime banging the nails into Jesus's hands.

My main tutor at university wrote the "world's leading textbook of physical chemistry"*, which still makes me feel guilty, as I ended up a slack, disillusioned and mediocre student. However, I do have fond memories of his derailing tutorials by making me perform fun little mind games such as "derive the First, Second and Third Laws of Thermodynamics from the point of view of someone stranded on a desert island."

I read "Catch 22" at the age of eight because my dad said it was his favourite book. I think that I actually understood some of it too.

But the most exciting stories I can tell are those of my parents and grandparents.

*Amazon.com says this, so it must be true.

pwalshj wrote:

buzzsaw wrote:I was on Ask This Old House on PBS

Which show and what problem? I need to know this.

My mother's maiden name is the same as my fathers surname. Pre-emptive strike. No and no. Just a common name.

The lady across the street didn't have to change her last name when she got married.

My friend's mother's first and last name are the same. Yep.

I've wracked my brain and I can't come up with anything about myself that even approaches the feats of coolosity I'm reading here.

cesb wrote:I've wracked my brain and I can't come up with anything about myself that even approaches the feats of coolosity I'm reading here.

Perhaps that band you played in?

Ben

I don't really have anything...

Although, about 7 or 8 years ago, I became a finalist in a radio competition that my ex-girlfriend entered me in. basically you had to announce a song on radio and the best announcer won. It was a top-40 countdown type of show. I introduced Ja Rule's "Living It Up". I also had to add my "little bit" which was along the lines of "more people should support independent music, not this mainstream bullshit". The female host thought it was awesome, but the other dude hated it. Needles to say, I didn't win, but got $1800 for being a finalist.

That's my only cool thing.

Oh, and I met Tony Alva at some skate demo. He would only give away product if you answered a question. I didn't have the chance to get anything, but I did buy a board from Pat Duffy and it was signed by Pat Duffy and Tony Alva.

i'm the top freshwater ecologist in Pembrokeshire

i'm the only freshwater ecologist in Pembrokeshire

i'm the best leg-spin bowler in Pembrokeshire and hold the unofficial indoor league record for best bowling figures (5-24 off 4 overs)

i've met Don Estelle

Girls Against Boys said they loved me and i have written proof

i use and endorse Zziplex fishing rods

Ty Webb wrote:Everything about me is both VNHOLY and TRVE.

FYP