I just talked to my friend and he reminded me of something I did once that could be considered a dick move.

The place we worked at had a giant banner that everyone there was to sign with get well wishes to Walter Peyton when he got cancer or whatever he had, the owner was going to present it to him at the hospital.

When nobody was looking I wrote 'Better you than me, asshole' on it

I have no idea why I did that as I hold no grudge against the man, I admire him and enjoyed watching him play to be honest. I thought it would be funny to show my friend I guess, show him what a prick I am. He just shook his head and said 'dude that's not even funny' and yeah, it wasn't at all. I was going to go back and scribble it out when nobody was around but I could never get close to it again.

What a dick.

Boombats wrote:A light sampling of Boombats' dick moves:


In the 5th grade:

I had a crush on the girl across the street. Somehow though I managed to shoot out one of her teeth with a slingshot, and make her cry by saying her parents got divorced because she was ugly (these were separate incidents). Boy was I smooth with the ladies.

In the 8th grade:

Plotted the death of a kid in my drama class. He had some sort of condition where he was abnormally small and underdeveloped but quite precocious and creepy with a creepy little gritty crackly voice and thick glasses. I was going to push him out the 4th-story window of the theater.

In the 11th grade:

I had an English teacher, a frazzled Jewish woman who was pretty decent but would butt heads with me sometimes. She developed a small cancerous growth in her nose and had to undergo surgery for its removal. I told her "be careful, sometimes people end up on the wrong table and get lobotomized." That sent her out of the classroom in tears.

At the age of 22:

Got a retard high on weed, then fucked the nurse in the ass on the patio of the group home while her husband was sleeping inside.

At the age of 23:

Black-out drunk, graffitied the walls of some friends' apartment, with horribly stupid ghetto shit. Stuff too embarrassing to reprint.

At the age of 25:

Had sex with one girl, didn't wash my dick, and then let another girl unwittingly suck the grunge off.

More recently:

Stole medication from a cancer patient. Not much but the concept is pretty dickworthy.

Wow. Most of these are quite entertaining. "Got a retard high on weed." Wow.

Marsupialized wrote:I just talked to my friend and he reminded me of something I did once that could be considered a dick move.

The place we worked at had a giant banner that everyone there was to sign with get well wishes to Walter Peyton when he got cancer or whatever he had, the owner was going to present it to him at the hospital.

When nobody was looking I wrote 'Better you than me, asshole' on it

I have no idea why I did that as I hold no grudge against the man, I admire him and enjoyed watching him play to be honest. I thought it would be funny to show my friend I guess, show him what a prick I am. He just shook his head and said 'dude that's not even funny' and yeah, it wasn't at all. I was going to go back and scribble it out when nobody was around but I could never get close to it again.

What a dick.

When it comes to dick moves, 'Sup, nobody does it better.

that time i told the nation i wanted to cut Obama's nuts off, not realizing the mic was still on. that was a bad day for me.

Marsupialized wrote:I just talked to my friend and he reminded me of something I did once that could be considered a dick move.

The place we worked at had a giant banner that everyone there was to sign with get well wishes to Walter Peyton when he got cancer or whatever he had, the owner was going to present it to him at the hospital.

When nobody was looking I wrote 'Better you than me, asshole' on it

I have no idea why I did that as I hold no grudge against the man, I admire him and enjoyed watching him play to be honest. I thought it would be funny to show my friend I guess, show him what a prick I am. He just shook his head and said 'dude that's not even funny' and yeah, it wasn't at all. I was going to go back and scribble it out when nobody was around but I could never get close to it again.

What a dick.

I had never heard of this man until now, and looked him up expecting to find some sort of controversy over domestic violence or allegations of pedophilia. Having found nothing of the sort, my mind came to the conclusion that your act was indeed dickish.

Senior class photos. We, the three amigos, decide to sit dead center in the bleachers (our graduating class was 300 people), and do the "see no, speak no, hear no" monkeys for the picture. Except that me (hear no) and bud number 1 (speak no) decide to pull back at the last second and let bud number 2 (see no) go it alone. We somehow managed to pull it off without him realizing it, and kept it to ourselves for the next six weeks or so. When they delivered the pictures we were all in the same classroom. We watched him open it up in front of about ten people he had promised a big, cool surprise to. Than we ran.

this story involves people being really awesome, good people. just kidding.



a few years ago, i was in a relationship with a girl for about 3 or 4 months and i just knew it wasn't going to work out. i tried talking to her to end it, but fell victim to giving in when she tried to 'reason' with me when i was doing the deed and never "offically" ended it.

a couple weeks later, i hung out with another female acquaintence, had a few drinks and she ended up staying the night with me. needless to say, i felt pretty shitty all around, because i had more or less cheated on the girlfriend that i still technically had as well as dragged someone else into the mess who didn't know any better. the next day i offically ended it with my girlfriend and that was that.

i was kind of an asshole to the new girl, never really called her again, etc etc.

last fall, i was at a party and ran into the girl for the first time since that'd happened. basically after our little incident, she started dating another guy and was still with him. she asked me to walk her home, which i did and thought it would be an opportunity to talk to her and apologize for acting like such a dick. (honestly... that's as far as my intentions went)

we ended up talking until about 6am, followed by (at that time) some of the most intense, awe-inspiring sex of my life.

throughout the course of the next month, i pretty much convinced her to dump her boyfriend for me and we dated for about 9 months, until i found out she was sleeping with one of my friends for about the last 2.

probably should have seen that coming.



dick moves, all around!

BadComrade wrote:There was a little girl standing next to me as I pulled all of the blue, red and orange freeze pops out, and the only flavors I left were cream soda and peach.

I felt like I might have been being a dick by taking all the "good flavors".

Orange is not one of the "good" flavors. So you're ok there.

givemenoughrope wrote:

Boombats wrote:A light sampling of Boombats' dick moves:


In the 5th grade:

I had a crush on the girl across the street. Somehow though I managed to shoot out one of her teeth with a slingshot, and make her cry by saying her parents got divorced because she was ugly (these were separate incidents). Boy was I smooth with the ladies.

In the 8th grade:

Plotted the death of a kid in my drama class. He had some sort of condition where he was abnormally small and underdeveloped but quite precocious and creepy with a creepy little gritty crackly voice and thick glasses. I was going to push him out the 4th-story window of the theater.

In the 11th grade:

I had an English teacher, a frazzled Jewish woman who was pretty decent but would butt heads with me sometimes. She developed a small cancerous growth in her nose and had to undergo surgery for its removal. I told her "be careful, sometimes people end up on the wrong table and get lobotomized." That sent her out of the classroom in tears.

At the age of 22:

Got a retard high on weed, then fucked the nurse in the ass on the patio of the group home while her husband was sleeping inside.

At the age of 23:

Black-out drunk, graffitied the walls of some friends' apartment, with horribly stupid ghetto shit. Stuff too embarrassing to reprint.

At the age of 25:

Had sex with one girl, didn't wash my dick, and then let another girl unwittingly suck the grunge off.

More recently:

Stole medication from a cancer patient. Not much but the concept is pretty dickworthy.

Wow. Most of these are quite entertaining. "Got a retard high on weed." Wow.

Yeah.
But some of them not so much! Damn, Boombats, you could be a real dick!

i get indignant when called on my bullshit and just abandon the relationship.