Let s talk about wiping your ass.

12
Lonesome Bulldog wrote:One square per stool.


That is just savagery.

I've always wanted someone to invent a motorized toilet paper... like one of these fellers:

Image


You squat on it. It runs through the cheeks. It goes into the housing, where it is cleaned and disinfected.


Seriously people... it's 2008. Can't we find a better way to clean our asses than dry pieces of paper? I know you outlanders have water piques that do the job, but there has to be something better. there just has to be.

Let s talk about wiping your ass.

13
Kayte R. wrote:This is really more regarding pooping in general, but I was told recently (by a massage therapist) that to poop more "naturally" you need to turn over a bucket or small trash can and put your feet on it. So if you've always wondered how to poop more naturally there you go.


TOTALLY TRUE

i read this once, and we have a small step stool in the bathroom. if i can't crap, i put my feet up on it, it falls out of me. just falls right out.

also, Kandoo! wipes you can flush.
GAY BABY

Let s talk about wiping your ass.

16
b-vapor wrote:I think if you fold the toilet paper, you are more likely to get shit on your hands, especially if it is a messy one. Anyone agree? I like to crumple the toilet paper to keep my hands as far enough from my shit as possible.


I thought this too, but it turns out that you can fold it in such a way as to cover a good amount of square inchage and still keep the feces off your fingers. And should you happen to accidentally smear some on yourself, most bathrooms are equipped with soap and sinks with running water in order to remedy the situation.

Skronk wrote:Fold paper gently. Lean to the left. Reach around. Front to back. Repeat. Go feed cat. So sad.


Do I really have to feed the cat every time? What if I'm at work?
Rick Reuben wrote:You are dumber than week-old donuts.

Let s talk about wiping your ass.

17
b-vapor wrote:I think if you fold the toilet paper, you are more likely to get shit on your hands, especially if it is a messy one. Anyone agree? I like to crumple the toilet paper to keep my hands as far enough from my shit as possible.


The problem with crumpling is it's too small of a surface area. You don't know where your fingers will land.

ironyengine wrote:Do I really have to feed the cat every time? What if I'm at work?


You could just feed it a little treat for a job well done. No work cat?
Marsupialized wrote:I want a piano made out of jello.
It's the only way I'll be able to achieve the sound I hear in my head.

Let s talk about wiping your ass.

18
I hate wiping my ass. I absolutely hate it.

It goes on and on and on and on...

I can use a half a roll at one sitting. It's ridiculous.

There isn't a day that goes by were I don't roll my eyes every time I have to wipe my ass over and over again.

Sometimes it seems that it will never end.

But every once in a while... you take that hard, clean shit... and only have to wipe once. To me, it feels like winning the lottery.

-nate

Let s talk about wiping your ass.

20
ironyengine wrote:
Skronk wrote:
ironyengine wrote:Do I really have to feed the cat every time? What if I'm at work?


You could just feed it a little treat for a job well done. No work cat?


No work cat. Do you have a work cat? Where do you work?


I have two Labradors, no cat. I work with a guy in his machine shop fabricating parts, but it's not a steady job. I don't think it's a good place for a cat, too many dick jokes.
Marsupialized wrote:I want a piano made out of jello.
It's the only way I'll be able to achieve the sound I hear in my head.

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