I am driving over by my house on the way to work, the street is narrow and there are cars parked on both sides of the street so one car going one way has to stop and let the one with the right of way pass.
It's clearly my turn to go, I start moving and this giant SUV just guns it and tries to go before me and comes within an inch of smashing into me. I am driving my dad's truck while he recovers from surgery so the last thing I would need is for someone to smash into it. He slams on his breaks and stops about an inch from the front of my car. We are both stuck there now and can't move. I give the universal arms up 'what the fuck?!' gesture and he blasts his giant SUV horn at me. He's leaned back yapping on his cell phone. I stick my head out of the window and yell 'What the fuck is wrong with you, asshole? You almost fucking smashed into me!'
He decides to stare me in the face and give me the finger and blast his horn at me again, while still yapping on his cell phone.

Now I am a grown, somewhat civilized man and should be above such things but I snapped. I literally saw red. Just a wash of red. Next thing I know I am out of the car standing at his window calling him a motherfucker and get out of the car and fuck you I'll stomp your head open on the street. He opens his mouth to say something, before he can get a word out I punched him in the side of the head maybe three times. He looked completely shocked and freaked. He guns it backwards and turns around. Before he drives off he yells 'I have your licence plate number! I am calling the cops!' I yell more fuck yous and he drives off.

That was my commute to work.

Thank goodness this is Chicago or else I'd be worried about the cops actually looking for me tonight when I get home. Probably will switch the truck back for mine later just in case.

Still think Wicker Park is the best neighborhood in town?

Colonel Panic wrote:Still think Wicker Park is the best neighborhood in town?

Yes

*round of applause*

you did what i'd like to do nearly every day. just hope this doesn't come back and bite ya.

You're totally getting jacked by some yuppie gangbangers tonight.

I gotta say it was irresponsible and stupid of me, I mean if I were to get arrested for assault and have to go through all that nonsense it would be a huge pain in the ass for my wife and I but man, did it feel good. The look on his face when I hit him was so satisfying. The real world creeped into his giant yuppie palace on wheels and struck him down.

So driving a giant SUV does not make me invincible after all....

154 wrote:*round of applause*

you did what i'd like to do nearly every day. just hope this doesn't come back and bite ya.

+1.


I hope you won't get in troubles for that, but you did the right thing. Last time I really wanted to punch someone on the street was when I was biking and saw a guy on one side of a bike lane (in a middle of gigantic park) and his dog on the other side, so I tried to fit between them, but then his second dog (who apparently was walking behind the guy) ran into the middle of the bike line. I managed not to crash into a tree and not run the dog over AND not use any curse words. I said "sir, this is a bike lane". Dude looked at me, said "I know" and walked away, still on the bike lane. I really regret I didn't turn back punch him. Where do all these assholes come from?

part of me wants to buy you a beer and another part of me thinks you shouldn't have punched the guy, or resort to violence because people carry guns you know? PRF needs you here.

Nonetheless, the dickhead needed a lesson. perhaps next time he'll be less aggressive. yuppie chicks in suvs are just as bad. perhaps, in the name of ELF we should go around and slash the tires of luxury SUVs.

Hope he doesn't come to one of your shows with a D-cell battery in his pocket.

iembalm wrote:Hope he doesn't come to one of your shows with a D-cell battery in his pocket.

Something tells me that D Battery would probably be inside an industrial strength butt plug at the time and not in his pocket