fucked a ladies rugby player.

gross.


did some more degrading shit the other day, then i quit drinking.

degradation...passe.

Once woke up on the floor of the foyer of my building. My belt, keys and car were missing.
My pants were ripped open in back from the ass down the back of one leg.
I had to go into the heart of downtown chicago to my roommate's work at the board of trade to retrieve his keys. With backless jeans on. The winos were giving me dirty looks.
Eventually I found my car. It was parked in the middle of the street a few blocks from my apartment.

D'Piucchstre wrote:

Eating Noddemix wrote:

D'Piucchstre wrote:Started to shave off another drunk and passed out guy's hair. --I shaved off about a third of it.

Wow. I would seriously beat someone's ass (or at least try to) if he did that to me.

Yeah, I agree, I probably deserved having the shit knocked out of me for doing that. The back story though, is that two other guys started shaving him first and then stopped. I took up where they left off and more or less succeeded at it. --The moral of the story though, is never underestimate the stupid shit that you can do when you're fueled up on five cans of Fosters.

5 cans of fosters = stupid shit? five cans of beer is a quiet one for me.

i used to stay in this flat in the southside and one of the girls who lived on the floor below was really heartbreakingly pretty - like the sort you just wanted to hold hands with and steal her pants from her room. she looked like a dirty, indieasfuck audrey hepburn who worked in a library and masturbated to glenn branca.

ANYWAY

we'd pass on the stairs and i'd say hello and then secretly die inside or we'd engage in polite "oh my we live in the same place and whatever" conversation.

but one day, one day, i'd been in the pub early due to a half day at work and was completely trashed and was trying to walk home semi-unsuccessfully. and then who do i see the other side of the road? yes, sweet darling audrey h. in my twattish state i decided to shout across the road at her.

"HI! HELLO! HEY I KNOW YOU, HEY!"

understandably, the girl kept her fucking head down and speeded the fuck up to which i shouted;

"FUCKING BITCH, I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU!"

i never saw audrey again. and when i think of it now, i feel ill inside.

My stomach aches from laughing. You're crazy!

i had to move to a new part of town after that.


i was also told that one night i walked around a club with my cock hanging out my trousers saying "do you like my new shoes" to every woman within spitting distance until i got thrown out. i don't remember much of that though.

s = y wrote:i had to move to a new part of town after that.


i was also told that one night i walked around a club with my cock hanging out my trousers saying "do you like my new shoes" to every woman within spitting distance until i got thrown out. i don't remember much of that though.

Are you on the sex offender's register yet?

by the grace of god alone, no.

The night/morning before going to record with Steve, the guys in the band and my brother all were squatting in some apartment that was used for storage shit (extra doors, tools, paint).

We just got back to the apartment after watching some nut job friend of ours start a 15 ft. fire about 5 ft. away from his house, and continued to drink heavily.

Being the pathetic losers we are, we had porn scattered everywhere. We all decided since non of us had any "game" to "spit" at any nightclubs or any "pussy lined up" for the whole week we've been there, we all went to different parts of this trashed apartment and jerked off to some porno mags.

My choice being the bathroom, I handled my biz and for some reason puked in the cupboard under the sink.

I walked back out to the living room to go to sleep, tripped over my guitar case fell into a wall and just layed their urinating myself until I went to sleep.

Of course I told everyone in that apartment I pissed myself "for G.G. Allin" but in reality I was just really drunk and pissed myself.

we woke up two hours later to get to Electrical.



Born to lose. We fucking lost.


edit: I think I also remember saying something like "Dimebag rules". Which, in my opinion, might've been the most degrading thing about that night/morning.

h8 m0dems wrote:

D'Piucchstre wrote:The moral of the story though, is never underestimate the stupid shit that you can do when you're fueled up on five cans of Fosters.

5 cans of fosters = stupid shit? five cans of beer is a quiet one for me.

yeah, same here.

only 5?? those are pint cans though, right? so that's like...(does math...)6 and 2/3 beers? still...not a lot of beer. does it have a higher percentage of alcohol than your average beer? 4.5% i think is average, right?