I think I've seen Soup's mitts in a few posts, and as I remember they were large. Hamhocks.

Goin' with Soup.

fights between your average shmucks aren't interesting to watch. even most professional fights are boring as fuck.

if you guys are gonna fight, go for the gusto, eh? make it look good. and painful. like none this hugging, tackle bullshit. fucking hit eachother.

that damned fly wrote:fights between your average shmucks aren't interesting to watch. even most professional fights are boring as fuck.

if you guys are gonna fight, go for the gusto, eh? make it look good. and painful. like none this hugging, tackle bullshit. fucking hit eachother.

I am fully comfortable turning this into a proper duel with pistols at dawn.
Nah, fuck pistols...we use garden claws.



We each get two garden claws, someone blows a whistle...a chick in a bikini blows a whistle, and we go apeshit on each other till it's done. Till one of us (me) stands above the other's mutilated corpse.



Dogs are then let lose upon the remains so as to fully humiliate the deceased's family.


These are my terms and the only terms I will entertain. Does the hillbilly Australian have the snoobers (or whatever goofy name they use for balls there) to face me?

HAs anyone ever seen a fair fight? Where two guys offer up their fists in a Marquis of Queensbury style? Nah It usually starts with someone throwing a punch out of nowhere.

Who the fuck wants to fight fair anyway. If you're compelled to raise your fists or feet to someone then it means you want to hurt them, so why give them the chance to beat you up?

When did I turn Australian?

I agree to your terms, except for the dogs part. Nah, I'm going to dump a flower sack full of maggots on your remains. Much slower, and it will look better on the web cam.

Rog wrote:2. Stupe punches guy in the side of his head three times.
Guy backs up and drives away. Like he'd been
hit with a sponge.
Indicative of a serious lack of muscle tone on Stupes part?
I believe so.

good point, i'm going with the aussie.

Uncle Ovipositor wrote:When did I turn Australian?

I agree to your terms, except for the dogs part. Nah, I'm going to dump a flower sack full of maggots on your remains. Much slower, and it will look better on the web cam.

How about this...

I am sure you have heard of a brazen bull?


We build an enormous brazen bull. It doesn't even have to be in the shape of a bull, whatever we want. A kangaroo. Fine.
We build an enormous metal kangaroo, we both climb in. A fire is started under the kangaroo. We begin the battle.
Now, to make it extra interesting the kangaroo is locked with a padlock. We each swallow a key to the padlock.
The only way to get out of the kangaroo before you cook to death is to first kill, then actually rip your opponent's body to shreds with your bare hands and search through the goop and blood and gunk for the key.

Whatcha say?

Marsupialized wrote:All day and night. Woah woah. Yeah yeah. All day and night.

Sounds like GVSB lyrics. Scott McCloud is probably in shape, but he also probably smokes a lot, so I vote UO.

Marsupialized wrote:
I am sure you have heard of a brazen bull?

We build an enormous brazen bull. It doesn't even have to be in the shape of a bull, whatever we want. A kangaroo. Fine.
We build an enormous metal kangaroo, we both climb in. A fire is started under the kangaroo. We begin the battle.
Now, to make it extra interesting the kangaroo is locked with a padlock. We each swallow a key to the padlock.
The only way to get out of the kangaroo before you cook to death is to first kill, then actually rip your opponent's body to shreds with your bare hands and search through the goop and blood and gunk for the key.

Whatcha say?

Judging by that admittedly awesome pic, there's barely room for one naked screaming man in there. How come you turn every fight into yet another homoerotic fantasy?

Nope garden implements or nothing. I'm going to lawn gnome your ass to death.

Read the fucking post I said an ENORMOUS brazen Kangaroo.
That's the problem with you Australians, you don't know how to fucking listen. That sun cooks your fucking brain. This is why you people find yourselves in these situations where someone is forced to throttle you.

So you are scared of the brazen kangaroo, huh? doesn't surprise me.

Garden claws it is.

Can we at least set the garden claws on fire before we begin?

You know what? Since I am feeling generous, I volunteer to have one of my arms tied behind my back for the battle. No, fuck it...BOTH of my arms will be tied behind my back.