Cranius wrote:Yeah, but this guy had to be told twice.

He came back because he told him to fuck off. His reaction provoked the re-approach.

Cranius wrote:It's a war out there. Idiots are putting the squeeze on the rest of us.

Except it's not a war is it?

This is a war.
Thisis a war.
This is a war.

But oh huh a dude tried to compliment a guy without realising that he didn't have the right to talk to him. That's pretty close to a war I guess.

Yes, he overreacted, but you guys are missing the other obvious point-- why did this kid just keep on coming?

When someone who you don't know and have nothing invested in reacts adversely to you in public, you don't follow him around trying to smooth things over.

I have to say I think your female friend would only be half as upset at you if that kid hadn't stalked you around, leading to an escalation.

So I'd say it's half your fault for losing it and half his fault for not letting it go.

Next time, though, try to be a little more magnanimous. Smile, thank the guy for his compliments, and then in a very non-confrontational way explain to him that the way you look isn't important to you and you wonder at his paradigm if that's the first thing he notices about people.

He's a lot more likely to take what you're saying to heart if you don't say it in an effort to undermine him.

gmilner has it. I don't understand what it would have cost you (or how it could have hurt you) to say, "Thanks, man."

I've always been fond of the nonverbal reply to something like that.

It allows one to stay detached, keep moving, and waste as little energy as possible. If you really think it's a completely trivial interaction, these are good things to achieve.

Matt Kadane told me this story about Robt Fripp. He heard it from someone else.

Fripp is at some show, random show in Dallas, I think. Why, dunno. But he is there.

A King Crimson Fan Dude comes up to him, during whatever the music was, and starts in with the gushing about how psyched he is to see him there etc.

Guy is on Fripp's left. Fripp looks at him briefly, nods politely, and raises his right index finger, across his body, as if to say 'one moment, sir, I am doing something, namely watching this band play music.'

KCFD keeps yammering. Fripp makes same gesture, a bit more emphatically, entire palm this time.

More yammering. Once more, whole palm gesture, getting real annoyed.

Doesn't work--still more yammering. Fripp closes his eyes, bows his head, and places his hands in prayer position in front of himself. Guy stops talking and leaves immediately.

tmidgett wrote:
Doesn't work--still more yammering. Fripp closes his eyes, bows his head, and places his hands in prayer position in front of himself. Guy stops talking and leaves immediately.

Wow. Fripp > me.

gmilner has it. I don't understand what it would have cost you (or how it could have hurt you) to say, "Thanks, man."

Great fripp story.

this thread is retarded.

I don't think you were necessarily wrong to get angry at the guy. But you did also make the assumption that him being interested in "your look" necessarily meant that he was "shallow."

Sure, we've all met hipsters who only go to shows so that they can see and be seen, so that they can ratchet up their social lives a few more notches.

But maybe you shouldn't have immediately jumped to the conclusion that this guy was one of those people. My sister is very cool and smart, but she is also crazy about talking up and noticing everyone's hairstyle/t-shirt/jeans/etc. Just because that shit holds absolutely no interest for me doesn't mean she's a shallow person. She's not.

In the end, I don't think you should feel bad about it.

tommydski wrote:*Awaits 'Would You: NerblyBear's Sister?' Poll*

Cut that shit out, please.