John George Peppers wrote:I was waiting to see which female poster would respond to this first. Salute Nina!

Joy! Do I win a prize?

Okay, let's get something straight though.

John George Peppers wrote:This could just be a one night stand or this could be a with someone you indeed want to see again. Either way, it's the first time you have hooked up.

The two are very different.

A one night stand is very different than fucking someone you "indeed want to see again."

John George Peppers wrote:I beg to differ. I was on a great first date.

See how you said "1st date?"
This implies that you had met her before, then took her out.

Even so, I can totally understand Why she stopped herself from doing the deed with you that night.

John George Peppers wrote:Her withholding of sex was just of way of telling me how serious she was about to take our relationship should we have one.... or some other Bullshit.

Probably because of her experience with other people who think like that.

John George Peppers wrote:It just comes across as an early sign of game playing on her part.

Game playing? Who is game playing in the example you have given?
Sounded to me like she really liked you, didn't want you to think she was a whore because she had some self-respect and possibly hopes of having something more with you than just a cock for the evening, which might I add, she could probably find anywhere if she really wanted to.

John George Peppers wrote: If you want to do something then do it. There are no rules, nothing terrible will happen to you if you have sex on the first date.

Peppers, people have different sets of morals that they try to to uphold for themselves, sometimes they differ from yours. I don't think it's fair to say that she was wrong and never see her again. She was probably afraid you were just going to fuck her and bail, which by the sounds of your disdain of the thought of her wanting a "relationship," possibly would have been the case.

John George Peppers wrote: If you are having a really good time and you click with each other then why not. That's not a slutty thing to do, that's doing what feels right.
If the date was just so-so and then the woman or the man decides to have random sex.....that is a slutty move. They are two separate things.

Wait, I'm confused, the so-so date sex doesn't feel right and is slutty? How do you know if the date was "so-so?" Maybe she was not sure how you felt about her and you were just going to have "random sex" with her.

If men and women were just honest with each other and communicated normally without all of this bullshit code talk, life would be so much easier for everyone.

Nina wrote:That is utter bullshit.
A "smart chick" wouldn't be fucking you the first time you meet her.

WHAT????????????

I am totally baffled by this comment. Smart girls can do whatever they want, including fucking strangers. Why do you think if someone fucks around that makes them not smart?


ALSO,
Why all the hangups? Why worry if what you're doing is being slutty? That seems a little overly socially concerned. As long as everyone is being safe, sane, and consensual there is no problem; berating yourself, or others based on the puritanical mating norms of the 50's makes no fucking sense. Free love people, it already happened.

I just read a story that said women with high IQ's are more likely to have sex with strangers than dumb women.

Kayte wrote:

Nina wrote:That is utter bullshit.
A "smart chick" wouldn't be fucking you the first time you meet her.

WHAT????????????

I am totally baffled by this comment. Smart girls can do whatever they want, including fucking strangers. Why do you think if someone fucks around that makes them not smart?

You're right. I regretted wording it that way right after I posted it, but was too lazy to edit it.

Kayte wrote:ALSO,
Why all the hangups? Why worry if what you're doing is being slutty? That seems a little overly socially concerned. As long as everyone is being safe, sane, and consensual there is no problem; berating yourself, or others based on the puritanical mating norms of the 50's makes no fucking sense. Free love people, it already happened.

Personally, I have no hangups about sex, nor do I give a fuck what anyone else does. To imply that I based my comments on "puritanical mating norms of the 50's" is comical, my comments were a reaction to Peppers liking her but throwing her aside because she didn't fuck him right away, which I found a bit unfair and frankly, kind of sad.

I'm still married to my last random hook up. I still had a walk of shame though. I was looking pretty dusty that morning.

Nina, we're on the same page except for this...

Nina wrote: She was probably afraid you were just going to fuck her and bail, which by the sounds of your disdain of the thought of her wanting a "relationship," possibly would have been the case.

See there you have it wrong. I would of had a relationship with this woman. I would have introduced her to my friends, take her out in groups, go on a vacation together, and whatever else signifies a close relationship. However, it's the lack of sex that got in the way. There is no way in hell I'm taking a girl out to meet my friends and anything other than a one on one date if I haven't had sex with her. What does a woman like that expect. A guy is just going to parade a girl around town "Hey everybody here is the chick who is pretending that she doesn't like sex."

John George Peppers wrote:See there you have it wrong. I would have had a relationship with this woman. I would have introduced her to my friends, take her out in groups, go on a vacation together, and whatever else signifies a close relationship. However, it's the lack of sex that got in the way. There is no way in hell I'm taking a girl out to meet my friends and anything other than a one on one date if I haven't had sex with her. What does a woman like that expect. A guy is just going to parade a girl around town "Hey everybody here is the chick who is pretending that she doesn't like sex."

FYP.

and this is a joke, right? Because this is complete and utter bullshit.

oh yeah, "different standards"... nevermind.

John George Peppers wrote:Nina, we're on the same page except for this...

Nina wrote: She was probably afraid you were just going to fuck her and bail, which by the sounds of your disdain of the thought of her wanting a "relationship," possibly would have been the case.

See there you have it wrong. I would of had a relationship with this woman. I would have introduced her to my friends, take her out in groups, go on a vacation together, and whatever else signifies a close relationship. However, it's the lack of sex that got in the way. There is no way in hell I'm taking a girl out to meet my friends and anything other than a one on one date if I haven't had sex with her. What does a woman like that expect. A guy is just going to parade a girl around town "Hey everybody here is the chick who is pretending that she doesn't like sex."

It's your life Peppers, do whatever you want.

Good luck to you!

Nina wrote:

Kayte wrote:

Nina wrote:That is utter bullshit.
A "smart chick" wouldn't be fucking you the first time you meet her.

WHAT????????????

I am totally baffled by this comment. Smart girls can do whatever they want, including fucking strangers. Why do you think if someone fucks around that makes them not smart?

You're right. I regretted wording it that way right after I posted it, but was too lazy to edit it.

Kayte wrote:ALSO,
Why all the hangups? Why worry if what you're doing is being slutty? That seems a little overly socially concerned. As long as everyone is being safe, sane, and consensual there is no problem; berating yourself, or others based on the puritanical mating norms of the 50's makes no fucking sense. Free love people, it already happened.

Personally, I have no hangups about sex, nor do I give a fuck what anyone else does. To imply that I based my comments on "puritanical mating norms of the 50's" is comical, my comments were a reaction to Peppers liking her but throwing her aside because she didn't fuck him right away, which I found a bit unfair and frankly, kind of sad.

Ok I get it. I just thought you and jgp were sounding uncommonly like Cosmo mag or something. Plus I'm in a ranting mood today (see other posts, i'm on a roll).

Nina wrote: my comments were a reaction to Peppers liking her but throwing her aside because she didn't fuck him right away, which I found a bit unfair and frankly, kind of sad.

Don't be sad. She turned out to be exactly as I expected. She was a really bad control freak, the likes of which I have never seen before. Her whole withholding of sex was the first time it crept up. She just couldn't let go and relax. Control, control, control. After our last date, she started rubbing my feet back at my place as we were lying on opposite sides of my couch. I thought, ok we can do this, so I picked up her foot and started returning the favor. After about 20 seconds, she looked all freaked out and in a really rushed tone she asked me why I was rubbing her foot. I replied, "Well you're rubbing my foot and it feels good, so I;m rubbing your foot now too." She looked at me, then looked down at my foot in her hands, looked back up, smiled and said...."OK."

I ended the night soon after that and never called her again. That's why I ended things. Who knows maybe we would have had sex that night. She just turned out to be a compleat wack job.....You know the kind of chick who doesn't have sex on a first date even if she wants to...that kind of girl.