givemenoughrope wrote:If it happens, there will be two, close in age, the sex doesn't matter. One plays drums/percussion, the other plays bass. Period.

Yeah, I already have my power trio. My son can be Bob - the two girls will have to fight over who's Grant Hant and who's Greg Norton. They're 11 months, 3 years and 4 and a half years by the way.

Yea, they ought to a be a keyboardist and engineer also. Fuck, that's 4 kids right there. Clown car vagina...

In my heart, I know I would be a lousy parent. I'm not all that patient with kids, and while I don't mind my nephews, after a while I just think, "Enough of this shit." Thank God my wife doesn't want kids either. There are enough fucked up people out there without me adding to the pile ...

Marsupialized wrote:Dude, I'm not stupid....children come out of the butt. Everyone knows that.

so, your'e saying anal is how babby form?

i have the opposite problem a lot of people who don't want kids have (childhood sucked; don't want to subject kids to that, etc); my parents got me waaaay late because they married a bit late for the times (late 20s, almost 40 years ago), wanted some alone time for a while after marrying, and then when they finally started trying it took a while for them to figure out they couldn't biologically. so they gave up for a while and worked on their careers and education, and only THEN, years and years later, did they realize they forgot adoption was a possibility. so by the time they adopted me and my sister, they were very well off and stable. we had ideal but not pathetically pampered childhoods full of summer trips to new england and new york, lots and lots of books, a quaint (read: non mansion) comfortable house full of character and a big forest and pond in the back, as many extracurricular activities as we wanted, etc. we also always had dinner together. my mom was awesome and my dad was present, and they had a rock solid relationship.

all of this makes me scared to have my own kids. i don't have my shit remotely that together, and realistically won't for another decade. i do want kids, but i want them to be as lucky as i was. if i'd fallen seriously in love with someone who was adamantly against the idea i wouldn't have been shocked and didn't think of it as a dealbreaker. but i happened to get lucky and find a dude who's exactly on the same page as me: he does want them someday, but he wants to be completely ready to give them everything we can offer, and that's just not going to be feasible for a while. neither of us is against adoption if it comes to that, either. it's a nice sort of middle of the road thing. of course, we're not real old yet either (i just turned 26 and he's 30), so...

if you think you'll be a crappy parent you probably won't be. it's the folks who feel destined/entitled to have families i worry about most.

it wasn't due to any biological urge to procreate nor any feeling that my genetics and surname required or were deserving of advancement that i have a kid. just is.

I've got three kids.

We stay up late, we're like the Munsters or maybe the Addams Family.

enframed wrote:if you think you'll be a crappy parent you probably won't be. it's the folks who feel destined/entitled to have families i worry about most.

it wasn't due to any biological urge to procreate nor any feeling that my genetics and surname required or were deserving of advancement that i have a kid. just is.

Absolutely correct. It's the people who feel they can do no wrong who are the worst as parents. Their kids will never live up to their expectations, and if the parent fucks up, instead of finding fault with themselves and correcting it, they blame the kids and take it on them.

I come from a large extended family, even though I have only two sisters, my parents were always looking after everyone elses kids. I loved this environment. I know it wasn't easy for my parents, but why should it be?
If I could raise a family in the country with a whole lot of dogs, cats, chaos, kids, gardens and love, I would be one happy mother.

Yeah, I plan to raise a family. Just gotta find a guy that doesn't freak at the thought of it