Scarlett Johansson puts snotty tissue on eBayMan dies after retirement party hijinks

The Code is Almighty wrote:No Good Way to Tell Kids They Have Cancerhttp://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/12/18/ep.children.bad.diagnosis/index.htmlBeat me to it. NO GOOD WAY TO TELL KIDS THEY HAVE CANCER is the Google News/CNN headline; at least the story itself has the less obnoxious heading HONEY, YOU'RE REALLY SICK.

No Good Way to Tell Kids They Have Cancerhttp://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/12/18/ep.children.bad.diagnosis/index.html

Burger King offer meat-scented body spray

Santa Claus opens fire at California party; 6 shot, 3 deadCOVINA, Calif. “ A man dressed as Santa Claus opened fire at a Christmas Eve party in a suburban Los Angeles home that he subsequently set ablaze before fleeing, leaving three people dead, and at least 3 others injured police said.The man arrived at the party in Covina late Wednesday announced 'You have all been very naughty' and immediately opened fire with a handgun he had concealed in his bag, police Lt. Pat Buchanan said.Buchanan says three bodies were found after the fire was put out.Buchanan says a least three other people were injured. A woman in her 20s and an 8-year-old girl had gunshot wounds, and a third person had burns and a broken ankle.

Heavy toilet seats can be a danger to little boysWooden toilet seats' popularity may lead to rise in 'crush' injuries, doc saysParents of newly toilet-trained boys should take a few simple steps to keep their sons' penises safe when they go to the bathroom, a team of UK urologists advises.There's evidence that crush injuries due to falling toilet seats may be on the rise, Dr. Joe Philip of Leighton Hospital in Crewe in England and colleagues warn in a letter in BJU (British Journal of Urology) International.While he and his colleagues typically see just one or two such cases a year, if any, Philip told Reuters Health, they treated four different 2- to 4-year-old boys with penile crush injuries in the past several months.Thankfully all of the four had only the foreskin swelling, but obviously there's a lot of anxiety for the parents and the kids, Philip said. All of the boys were kept in the hospital overnight until they were able to urinate, but none of them suffered lasting physical damage, he added.In each case, the youngster was trying to urinate on his own and had lifted the toilet seat, only to have it fall back down. An industry report states that wooden toilet seats are becoming more popular as a possible explanation for the increase in injuries.Philip and his colleagues offer the following tips to help families of young boys prevent these injuries from happening: - Install soft fall toilet seats in every bathroom in the home, and ban heavy toilet seats made of wood or ceramic from homes with young boys. - Leave the toilet seat up at all times, until all of the boys in the household can hold the seat up on their own. - Supervise children every time they visit the bathroom.Constant supervision can be difficult, Philip conceded, especially during holiday gatherings when a youngster may steal off on his own to demonstrate his newly-found skill. Children want to show that they are independent, he said.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090101/ap\_ ... ike\_stolen

Maurice wrote:Frigid weather across U.S. renders numbers meaninglessThat's right, folks. It's so cold that numbers have been rendered meaningless.This sounds like something I would have said back when it was still possible to get actual LSD. "Dude.... I'm cold. It's cold. Numbers... fuck. Numbers don't mean shit. Nothing means shit."

Frigid weather across U.S. renders numbers meaninglessThat's right, folks. It's so cold that numbers have been rendered meaningless.

Visitor defecates on Fort Pierce woman's porchBy Will GreenleeOriginally published 10:13 a.m., January 8, 2009Updated 01:41 p.m., January 8, 2009 FORT PIERCE ” A 31-year-old woman on Wednesday found a likely unwelcome surprise on her porch -- a human bowel movement with an overwhelming stench, according to a police report released Thursday.The victim told investigators the doorbell to her home in the 700 block of Beach Court rang, and she saw a red Jeep Cherokee blocking the driveway. However, she didn't recognize the vehicle, so she didn't answer the door.A friend stopped by shortly afterward and told her a human bowel movement sat on the porch, describing the odor as repugnant. Toilet paper also was on the porch where the suspect attempted to clean themselves.The victim told police a neighbor indicated a heavy-set woman drove off in the red Jeep and that she was selling Mary Kay products.The victim told investigators the smell was overwhelming and she had to clean it as soon as possible.Police have no suspects and collected no evidence at the scene.