Jason A wrote:This is a no brainer. I attended a housewarming party for my friend Kevin and his fiancee (The strangest people I've ever stayed with) along with my girlfriend at the time. Their new house was out in the country on a good sized lot. Neighbors and relatives dominated the scene. Everyone had fun, though things were teetering out of control as morning neared.My girlfriend and I awake in sleeping bags on the floor of the living room to Kevin's fiancee shouting repeatedly Why'd you have to suck her titties, Kevin?! Why the FUCK did you suck her titties?! Girlfriend and I peek out of our sleeping bag pile to witness one of Kevin's new neighbors, an older woman, topless, running from the master bedroom and out of the house. We hunker down to avoid involvement.Kevin's fiancee continues shouting, giving more insight into the three-way with new neighbors gone horribly wrong. She begins throwing dishes, each crash punctuated with WHY'D YOU HAVE TO SUCK HER FUCKING TITTIES?! We get up amidst the chaos and try to smooth things over. We are asked to leave, so we happily leave. We later learned that they ended their housewarming party by destroying most of their belongings, and Kevin was taken to jail.wow, yeah, thats a good one.

Over the weekend we went on a 4 day mini tour, which was kind of strange as all of the gigs were with in driving distance of our home, so for the first time (I think) I noted a odd contrast. One of the bands we were on the road with was Waxeater, they are old pals whom we have played with a ton, anyway it seems they made some bad (but really funny) choices of who to stay with after the shows on Thursday and Friday. For some reason we have really good luck in that most people we crash with tend to be not totally insane maybe they are a little messy or get really drunk but all in all we are normally the crazy ones in the situation. It helps that we have been doing this a while and have the PRF network to fall back on. But I have enough insight to know there are gold in them hills, so I ask you PRF, who are the strangest people who were nice enough to put you up in there house for a night?

I can't remember the guy's name fortunately, but one time we were offered a place in Dayton after a particularly miserable show. (The only attendees were the guys who eventually became Guided By Voices but that's another story).This guy knew the guy that was our sound man/roadie from another tour. He was wearing a suit and tie as he came straight from work, looked fine, was very nice. Dayton sucks, so it all looks like hell to me. But this area we drove to looked particularly ugly. We get into this building and it's like, a filthy rundown punk pad or something. Just sleep anywhere you like. All floors, except for the filthy sofas that he was proud to have rescued from a dumpster. I chose the dining room. There were some deflated balloons and birthday cake and junk on plates. Was it your birthday? Yeah, a few weeks ago. Didn't clean any of it up. Crumbs and shit everywhere. I needed to use the toilet. I've never seen a more sickening toilet. I do not believe it was ever cleaned. Seriously. Same with the bathtub. Black. I do not miss low-budget touring.

That was amazing.

bad decisions, chris? hell no: that shit was lasting memory gold.in madison this guy comes up after our set and in this well creepy monotone just goes "you guys don't have a place?" i was like, nope! so he says "you and stay at my place......i'm gonna rape you" i shrugged it off and told him to rape elliott, he likes it. then later he was like "yea, i've got a really nice queen sized air matress..." "oh really?" "...you can't use it." well we decided to go there anyway and i piggy backed Nervous Curtains into staying there too because they didn't have a spot and we needed protection from the insane man. the apartment was, to put it mildly, full of character. as in cartoon characters. as in thousands of busted and fucked up toys, many of which were GI joes in compromising positions. he also had some copies of http://www.girlsandcorpses.com/ magazine. in other hands, it would've been funny. we then notice he has a unicorn tattoo on his leg and it has an AK-47 and a giant fucking ball sac. his response to us pointing it out: "best twenty bucks i ever spent" his toenails were also painted red which was disturbing for some reasonso now we are all lying down getting ready to go to sleep and this guy produces a chocolate bar from the fridge. he then hits the light and says "i'm gonna go eat this in bed and cut myself..........i wish i was joking." we wait for him close his bedroom door then all starting losing our shit wicked hard. i was convulsively laughing into my pillow and i thought i might black out. aaron only got something like 11 minutes of sleep because he kept waking up worried that old boy would be standing over his sleeping back in a clown mask or something. creeper woke us up at 10 am because "i have to be at work in half an hour and if you guys wanna get cleaned up or anything..." well, the tub was goddamned jet black, so no dice there (though robert from nervous curtains braved a shower, saying he was worried the whole time the guy was gonna bust in and jump in to join him). as duder is walking around topless getting ready, i notice he has a full back piece of mike patton in photorealistic black and gray. and this was a big guy so this thing was like 3 feet high. when asked about it he just said "it was free". the first word out of elliott's mouth when we left: "RUN"speaking of elliott, i'll let him regale you with the tale of the shaved ape and the rowdy powder.DudeGuyBroMan,

jayryan wrote:One young man had built himself a hay-bale apartment in the garage of the house, which was pretty cool.My hayfever chromosomes just leapt out of my DNA and kicked me in the balls.

on tour with june of 44, summer 1997. we stay in some sort of squat/commune in MA. both bands were enticed back to the place by promises of being able to swim in their pool. we get to this barn-looking building way out in the woods, and there IS a pool, but it appears to be filled with chocolate milk. we do not swim. a couple residents of the house do swim. sean from june of 44 eats some cookies out of the fridge, which gets some of the house's residents really mad, and they have to have a house meeting. our roadie fooled around with the young woman who had invited us back to the place, which earned him the name shitshack from some of the folks on the tour. one young man had built himself a hay-bale apartment in the garage of the house, which was pretty cool. jason and i were told we could walk into town early the next day to get bass strings, which we did. we were not told that it was about a 2 hour walk. i am sure that i am forgetting some details.

Incredible story.The best tour weirdness story I ever heard was from Fred from Zero Tolerance Task Force (now deceased, RIP Freddy), when they were in I believe Dubuque. The band MORE FUCKED TANGENT: More Fucked. The lyrics! I sucked my drummer's dick last night, smell of the ass turns me on, a few good men is hard to find, ass so tight but not well hung! Small dick big balls! Hung like a spider! Big dick little dick! Sick sick sick sick sick sick sickThe band MORE FUCKED played with ZTTF, and after the house show, Fred was trying to pass out in a corner of the putrid basement, when the members of More Fucked approached him and said Do you want the butt?Fred said, what?Do you want the butt?What is it?Do you want the butt?At this point he thought maybe they were talking about drugs and he did indeed want whatever drugs they had, and he got the impression that if he said no he'd never find out.yeah Ok, Fred said.The members of MORE FUCKED, who were standing surrounding Fred while he was seated in the corner of the basement, then turned around and dropped their pants and proceeded to smother him in the face with their butts. His recourse was to kick and punch out their knees until they fell!I did not want the butt, said Fred, chuckling.

sayer\_june wrote:so now we are all lying down getting ready to go to sleep and this guy produces a chocolate bar from the fridge. he then hits the light and says i'm gonna go eat this in bed and cut myself..........i wish i was joking. we wait for him close his bedroom door then all starting losing our shit wicked hard. i was convulsively laughing into my pillow and i thought i might black out.FUCKING GOLD.

RBoyer wrote:sayer\_june wrote:so now we are all lying down getting ready to go to sleep and this guy produces a chocolate bar from the fridge. he then hits the light and says "i'm gonna go eat this in bed and cut myself..........i wish i was joking." we wait for him close his bedroom door then all starting losing our shit wicked hard. i was convulsively laughing into my pillow and i thought i might black out.FUCKING GOLD.when i was telling a friend this story yesterday i realized that i don't actually remember ceasing laughter. i'm starting to think that i actually laughed myself into passing out, since the last thing i remember is voluminous, wilford brimley laughing and then it was 10am