Mary SteamvirginMy Father-in-law has so many of these I'm sure at least a few of them are done on purpose.

Convict's lenses

Email from the GF:M-prop just told her granddaughter to œgo put a hot toddy on her chest. œSome vicks or something

From HR director, while describing our org's inclusive history of service to populations of need said Japanese intermittent camps. Three fucking times.

"She jumped off the bandwagon".

Today the outspoken guy on the meeting was described as voiceterous.

sent a mail to the mechanics that maintain the fume exhaust. told them our usual fiberglass guys wouldn't be available for the regular quarterly inspection. The response?"that's unacceptacle!"

I once heard a senior barman explain to the new guy that they changed the beer barrels in a particular way because it was that pub's "maison d'etre". When asked what this meant, there were a few seconds of awkward silence before he came up with, "Maison means house, so it's like our house style". Clever in its way.

Not a proper malapropism, but money shot is a popular expression now, used in questionable ways.

yesterday in a meeting at work:"kill 2 birds with 1 thorn"