The Comedy of Craigslist

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https://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/muc/d/seeking-pro-musicians-for/6473231442.htmlSeeking PRO LEVEL musicians for a new project. I am a SERIOUS musician (guitar, electric bass, electric guitar, some drums, some keys, not my main instrument but I can play useful parts when required, SAX, also some jaw-harp and digeridoo when it fits the bill) with OVER TWENTY YEARS of experience (oh and also I play ukelele) playing, RECORDING and touring all over CA, the west coast, and New Jersey. Only seeking pro musicians: Got killer chops? Got killer time? Got a professional, can-do, winner takes all attitude?This project is to start the new FREEJAZZERCISE wherein paying customers ($$$cha-ching$$$) will be doing guided exercise routines for muscle growth, endurance, cardiovascular enhancement, and obviously weight loss. I know it sounds a little *weird* but My partner in this project Chacho Rivera will be leading the workouts, he is a PRO and he has many years of experience as a Pilates and Zumba fitness trainer (he prefers the term Coach lol) in venerable institutions such as the Downtown Berkeley YMCA. As our clients work up a sweat and actualize their potential we will be blasting their receptive ears with only the Most Avant Garde Modern Free Jazz/postjazz. Some of you may understand the potential energetic relationshop between boundary pushing music and boundary pushing exercise, as the mind and body are One and helping people to actualize their physical potential requires actualizing their mental potential (mental potental? mentential? lmao idk).PICTURE IT: a dark moody room, incense burning, Metta wafts through the air, Chacho is animatedly leading the 40-50 (or more? up to 100? idk lets dream big) peppy clients, who are sweating their BUNS OFF, muscles glistening in the candlelight, surrounded on all sides and at close proximity by a jazz sextet, raging only the most animalistic post-music, with influences ranging from Ornette, Sun Ra and John (coltrane obviously, like do i even have to explain lol) to more out cats like James Zitro and Peter Brötzmann. A WALL of Saxophone bells reflect the glistening buns of our adoring clients, I will be switching between Baritone Sax and reading quotations from my Spiritual Leader, His Holiness The Honorable Guru Sri Sri Swami Ashwanganda (all praises due) through a distorted delay pedal looper. also might get my Gamelan involved, who knows, lets get crazy! LOLso we need approx 15-20 musicians (or more) (to sub out, the music can never stop and the plan is for sessions to be between 4 and 16 hrs), at least 6 of them need to be saxophone players and 4 drummers. Must have PRO gear, vehicle, be willing to rehearse ideally 2x weekly, we have a practice space in West O, this is obviously a paid gig, we will split profits evenly and the more success we have the more u make so incentives to get into it $$$! hopefully we make enough to take this to burning man next year. i think it would be a hit and also might even earn me some points with His Holiness. Also if anyone works at guitar center lmk because we will need a new PA so yeah. also looking for the right space for the workouts, my practice space floor is pretty uneven and we have a fairly serious mold problemabundance and Blessings-Phoenix*******UPDATE: please stop emailing me about that thing that happened in Marin with His Holiness the Guru Sri Sri Swami Ashwanganda, that was a one time thing, it was a mistake and he apologized, i am his student but like i dont represent him, also i thought it was kinda funny lol but seriously only email me if you are down for the gig TYUPDATE: OK SERIOUSLY i took my phone number down please stop calling me i do not represent the Guru ive only actually met him like once or twice PLEASE STOP THANK YOU

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