mrcancelled wrote:solid gold...

Fuck yeah, Hench!I m about three weeks in to a break from alcohol. Started as a œwhy not? experiment to kind of check in on some things, with no other goal than to dry out for a month to see what happens. It s been really interesting.The easy days have been easier than I thought.The œWell today sucked “ I m having a beer nights have occurred, but holding off wasn t as difficult as I thought.I ve lost 10 pounds.I am generally feeling cleaner and clearer.I am a bit less lazy.I ve actually picked up a guitar to noodle around for the first time in a long while.The main question I was trying to answer -- to determine how much booze might be exacerbating my depression or not “ suggests I might have been onto something. I was skeptical how much difference this would make, since I ve cut way back on drinking since becoming a parent. But even modest amounts of alcohol affect things differently now that I m in my early 40s.Eliminating one vice has made me focus on others, and I have been more aware of when I am seeking distractions or some form of numbing behavior to deal with stress. I am realizing that drinking per se probably isn t THE problem, but is one method of many I have used to deal with shit in ways that are not serving things well. So I have a lot more work to do.Not sure where this will go. The experiment ends next week, and I am debating having a drink over Labor Day weekend to evaluate drink from a new perspective. I know I can easily have a few beers and walk away, but I m not sure yet if I want to. We ll see. Kind of taking it day by day. But I ve seen enough at this point to know that even if I do return to drink, it s going to be scaled back even further, like once a month, or birthdays and anniversaries or something.Very grateful for this thread. You folks are top-notch.

just passed 5 years. no big thing at this point. still, 5 years is a hell of a landmark. the big V.getting my shit together in my studio, balancing a kid, work, recording, the grow, i'd be melting down if i was still drinking, strike that, i'd be dead by now.

Following up: Went dry for a month, as mentioned above. Felt really positive about the whole thing. Had a couple beers over Labor Day, and ended up not really enjoying it. Tried another the next day, got about halfway through one beer and stopped. Last week I had a beer at home, and was pretty underwhelmed.So yeah. Something has shifted. Even a hint of an alcohol buzz feels uncomfortable now. Dry feels right for the time being.Onward!

jbar wrote:Went sober for like 7 months last year, picked back up after a pretty terrible breakup. After the death of my grandmother, I've really been hitting it hard. Last night was really rough for whatever reason. I called "the" hotline and stuff. Ithink it's time to give it up for good. Not sure what a concentrated effort looks like there. Help?Gonna post some major things that helped me, everyone else feel free to add to this list. 1. Tell the important people in your life that you want to quit. This will both make it harder for you to backslide, and will put your support system on watch. It also helps those around you to be more patient with you if you get irritable and/or are struggling with anything non-sobriety-related. 2. Tell the party pals that you are taking a vacation from that life. Don't worry about their reactions; the good ones will support you and the shitty ones can fuck off. 3. Pick a day, ideally one with a significance or at least an easy-to-remember date. That's not super important but some day you will look at that date with pride, so it's worth considering. I'm not suggesting putting it off, but if you haven't quit yet then you have to set a deadline. I was going to quit on the 4th of July, but by the 2nd I was ready and didn't want to wait a couple of days, especially since the 4th is such a drinky day that I was afraid I might kill the brain cells needed to maintain my resolution. I exited gently instead of having a dramatic last huzzah, and I think I benefited from that.4. Stop for real. If you are deep in the chemical dependency then you will need to wean yourself off to avoid bad withdrawal symptoms. As I said above, having one last blast might not be a good idea. Do what's best for your body, because after all this is all happening TO it. Your body doesn't get a fair say in the decision making process, and now is the time to rectify that. 5. Have appropriate expectations of yourself. This means not making things harder than they need to be. We do that because we want to fail and confirm that we are weak shitty people. If you try to go to a bar just to hang out, or even try to walk down the beer aisle of the supermarket too soon, then you're setting yourself up to lose. Only enter battles you think you can win, at least at this stage of the game. Losing means relapsing, so if you don't want to lose then don't take unnecessary risks. 6. Remember that friends and social circles do not always have your best interests in mind. Other people may get jealous of your newfound freedom, or just feel rejected by you because you can't afford to hang out. They want you to reinforce their beliefs, affirm their social status, and justify their own behavior. That's not your job. Your job is to stay alive, nurture your body, and find true happiness. Real friends will still be there once you're ready to socialize in a hostile environment again, and there is no official deadline for you to do that. 7. This is related to #6: BOUNDARIES. You will have to learn to assert yourself to maintain boundaries. Acquaintances will try to push through them; "Just have one drink with me mate!" "Come to my show at the brewpub, I'm DJing!" Fuck that shit. Avoid people who do not respect your boundaries. When we immerse ourselves in drinking culture, we tend to forget the importance of boundaries because alcohol dissolves them. Boundaries are healthy. This also goes back to #5, which means that you have to limit your exposure to those people and those situations where boundaries get trampled. 8. Reconnect with anything from your childhood that you found happiness in. We tend to put that stuff in storage when we get older, partly because we think we're too cool for it. Sobriety is fruitless without joy. Music is the best, but we get so goal-oriented that if we don't get the success we desire then we can use that as an excuse to backslide. Just seek play for play's sake. This can be hard to do around our current peers, but if you can't stand being alone then find some nerds or other goofy but genuine people who do social activities that don't involve ritual self-abuse. I'm sure there is a lot more but I gotta head out of the office now. Good luck!

Went sober for like 7 months last year, picked back up after a pretty terrible breakup. After the death of my grandmother, I've really been hitting it hard. Last night was really rough for whatever reason. I called "the" hotline and stuff. Ithink it's time to give it up for good. Not sure what a concentrated effort looks like there. Help?

Thanks everyone. First night without a beer or six is pretty ok.

jbar wrote:Went sober for like 7 months last year, picked back up after a pretty terrible breakup. After the death of my grandmother, I've really been hitting it hard. Last night was really rough for whatever reason. I called "the" hotline and stuff. Ithink it's time to give it up for good. Not sure what a concentrated effort looks like there. Help?You got anyone if your life you can talk to about it? Doesn't have to be someone in recovery, but that really helps. I was really tempted the other day, but called my bassist instead and talked it through. Bought a bag of peanut m&ms instead. Food........the final frontier.Anyways, besides talking to someone, I've found meditation, exercise, and diet(did i mention M&Ms?) to be huge. Not just for quitting drinking, but for basically helping everything in life. If you start to feel weak, just do a quick 10 minute mediation session and then go for a long run/walk, or whatever activity you enjoy. By the time you get home and clean up, maybe eat something, you'll be ready to go to bed. Works for me, but of course everyones different.Don't rule out going to a meeting. They work.

Salut, on that post, Boombats. Solid advice.One pretty simple thing I've found that helps is to recognize how much I enjoyed the "ritual" of drinking sometimes more than the drinking itself. Things like having drinks while cooking, or after band practice, meals with friends -- you'll have no problem finding your own examples. Anyway, I indulge the "ritual" with fizzy water, near beer (I know some folks here might disagree with me on this one, and I absolutely respect that), coffee, tea, whatever -- and for me it goes a long way.