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by ard barf_Archive
Anthony Flack wrote:Exact same thing happened to me. It was like I had a sudden epiphany: this is yuk, and I never want to do it again. And I've felt like that ever since.I don't even feel like I can take any credit for it because it required no willpower, just BLAM. Total certainty. Maybe I had been building up to it for a while. I guess it would be more helpful if I could say how I reached that point but I dunno. I'm glad though.I heard this psychologist on the radio many years ago who said something that stuck with me. He said there are basically 3 components of human behavior: Perception of a thing or situation, evaluation of the facts, and deciding how to act. And that in the history of trying to control human behavior, most of the time, people wait until the last one (deciding how to act, will power) and how it's often ineffective because the first 2 stages are already guiding your decision. It's like trying to throw on the brakes at the last minute.He went on to say that in the early 20th century there was a movement to move back a step in the process (evaluation of the facts) to establish control: Ingredient labels and nutritional facts and warnings were put on consumables, Public service announcements became mandatory. Government posters were hung that warned of contagious diseases and other hazards.He further said that it has only been in the last few decades that people have begun to focus on the first component (perception) as a way to exhibit control.I think the temptation of say, a donut, is a good example. If you think, That's a delicious donut, it's gonna tastes great...ugh I shouldn't eat it. That kind of thinking is not going to work as well as, That's a gross chemical nugget, it's not gonna make me feel good, I'm not gonna eat it.At first, it seems like a bit of self-trickery, but you are just telling yourself the facts and they just take over after awhile.Another thing about quitting smoking that I think isn't talked about is that, for a lot of people, quitting is something that you have to get good at. It took me about 60 times to finally quit smoking. I got good at quitting for a few days, or weeks or even months. I knew what it felt like at different stages and learned what to look out for. And the whole time (years) I was failing at quitting, my deep connection to cigarettes was fracturing, my perception of them was changing and that new perception was solidifying, until it was just easy to quit at some point.I mention this not only as a technique, but because I hear people say things like, I've tried to quit, I always fail, and they feel bad about themselves and weak, and think it's hopeless. I think that's the wrong way to look at it. Every time you quit and fail and then try again, you are building resolve. If you think of it like a boxer who has been knocked down over and over but keeps getting up, you're not weak, you're strong.