The Kenny

1
The rules:

Conversation starts with something--a thing, a situation, a category, a person, etc. The next response describes something that's just better, and something just worse, and proposes a new Kenny value.

The Kenny:
You've been in a work videoconference for a while, and it's finally your turn to present something you've been working on for several days. You speak your first word, and your power goes out.
snwv | streak.club | weekly beats | twitch

Re: The Kenny

2
This is just better than stress carrying in the jaw.

It's just worse than accidentally leaving a tea brewing overnight, then deciding to blitz it in a microwave on discovery the following morning.


The Kenny:
You take a room in a San Francisco houseshare. Five other housemates are involved in the tech industry in some fashion and hashtag all their social media content with #blessedlife. They ask if you will be joining them on Sunday for their breakfast waffle get-together and, not wanting to be a sourpuss, you agree.
On Sunday, you head down to enjoy waffles, followed by an affirmation session. Finally the group congregate around an old piano by the balcony. You cradle your coffees as the one with the stretched ears sits and starts playing 'Hallelujah'.
They are all singing.
at war with bellends

Re: The Kenny

3
A_Man_Who_Tries wrote: Mon May 24, 2021 9:12 am The Kenny:
You take a room in a San Francisco houseshare. Five other housemates are involved in the tech industry in some fashion and hashtag all their social media content with #blessedlife. They ask if you will be joining them on Sunday for their breakfast waffle get-together and, not wanting to be a sourpuss, you agree.
On Sunday, you head down to enjoy waffles, followed by an affirmation session. Finally the group congregate around an old piano by the balcony. You cradle your coffees as the one with the stretched ears sits and starts playing 'Hallelujah'.
They are all singing.
JB: Dying in the housefire you immediately set.

JW: Jumping off the balcony and breaking both of your legs, but not your ears.

The Kenny:

You, a middle-aged person, decide to try roller skating again. You go to the rink and can't quite remember how to "shoot the arrow" or do a spin or cross over your turns, but you sure are having fun. Same old rental skates, same old going around and around in an oblong circle (but this time at a medium speed appropriate to your dissolving knees), same old school jamz they still somehow play. Why yes, they do play "September". Suddenly, your middle school crush comes back to your mind and you recall how you totally biffed your "cool move" in front of them at another rink, somewhere else in time and space, and your cheeks become hot and red. You stop skating for a moment, fearing you'll actually relive that awkward fall that ended with your shoulder and cheek sliding against the rink with your butt in the air. You take a moment to get a soda to try to shake it off. The soda is clearly watered down, with very little fizz.

Re: The Kenny

4
bumble wrote: Fri Jul 02, 2021 1:36 pm
The Kenny:

You, a middle-aged person, decide to try roller skating again. You go to the rink and can't quite remember how to "shoot the arrow" or do a spin or cross over your turns, but you sure are having fun. Same old rental skates, same old going around and around in an oblong circle (but this time at a medium speed appropriate to your dissolving knees), same old school jamz they still somehow play. Why yes, they do play "September". Suddenly, your middle school crush comes back to your mind and you recall how you totally biffed your "cool move" in front of them at another rink, somewhere else in time and space, and your cheeks become hot and red. You stop skating for a moment, fearing you'll actually relive that awkward fall that ended with your shoulder and cheek sliding against the rink with your butt in the air. You take a moment to get a soda to try to shake it off. The soda is clearly watered down, with very little fizz.
Did I KILL KENNY?!

Re: The Kenny

6
You respond with scenarios of "Just Better [JB]" and "Just Worse [JW]" and then provide your own Kenny!

For example, my "JB" for my roller rink example would be adding Rink Nachos with the round corn tortilla chips and goopy orange cheeze sauce.

My JW would probably involve the smell of the deodorizing spray making its way into the cheese sauce.

Re: The Kenny

7
bumble wrote: Fri Jul 02, 2021 1:36 pm
The Kenny:

You, a middle-aged person, decide to try roller skating again. You go to the rink and can't quite remember how to "shoot the arrow" or do a spin or cross over your turns, but you sure are having fun. Same old rental skates, same old going around and around in an oblong circle (but this time at a medium speed appropriate to your dissolving knees), same old school jamz they still somehow play. Why yes, they do play "September". Suddenly, your middle school crush comes back to your mind and you recall how you totally biffed your "cool move" in front of them at another rink, somewhere else in time and space, and your cheeks become hot and red. You stop skating for a moment, fearing you'll actually relive that awkward fall that ended with your shoulder and cheek sliding against the rink with your butt in the air. You take a moment to get a soda to try to shake it off. The soda is clearly watered down, with very little fizz.
JB: Same, but the soda is not watered down, it is in fact the perfect syrup/fizz/ice ratio, so perfect in fact you briefly see the face of God and it is weeping

JW: You, a middle-aged person, decide to try do pornography again. You go to a McMansion in the burbs and can't quite remember how to "double-ski-pole" or ejaculate three feet, but you sure are having fun. Same old faces, same old going around and around in a circle jerk (but this time at a medium speed appropriate to your tennis elbow), same old school jamz they still somehow play. Why yes, they do play "September". Suddenly, your middle school crush comes back to your mind and you recall how you totally biffed your "sex move" in front of them at another pornography shoot, somewhere else in Reno and your ass-cheeks become hot and red. You stop having sex for a moment, fearing you'll actually relive that awkward fall that ended with your shoulder and cheek sliding against the bathroom floor with your butt in the air. You take a moment to get a cocaine to try to shake it off. The cocaine is clearly stepped on, with very little fizz.

The Kenny: I’m only here to Kenny and nothing else

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