Hi!

My name is Lu and I have been divorced for almost two years now.

I have left my daughter, and my ex wife in December 2019.

I still struggle with it sometimes. Sometimes I cry, thinking about that i can't kiss my beautiful daughter each night, wishing her good night.

I never regret leaving my wife. we had a really unproductive relationship, we rarely talked, we were so closed off during our marriage that we only started talking once it was really over.

It was a shitty ride for the last couple of years, Tinder dating and all. There are some things I wish never happened, there are some things I wish I could forget, but I guess it needed to happen to get me to the point I am at now.

For the last 3 or so months I feel like I have finally found my peace after everything that happened, with me being super emotional and all. I don't drink as much, I don't cry as much, I don't feel that regret as much as I used to. I feel myself smiling again for no reason, feeling happy again.

Anyway, this is Lu(na). She is the most beautiful human being I have had the privilege to interact with in my lifetime.





If anyone wants to talk about all this stuff, shoot your shot. This thing is hard as fuck. Don't ever be shy to talk about it.

SALUTE!

Sorry to hear you have been going through that. Being apart from a child is very rough. It's the hardest thing I've had to go through myself, having had my marriage end and my wife and son move across the country (it was the correct thing) in 2013. In some ways, I am emotionally frozen in the moment that I watched my son walk away as they left to drive out to their new life without me. I see him as often as possible, but I've missed a third of his life. Besides just missing him, probably the most acute thing has been not being able to fully experience happiness, pleasure, or fulfillment without feeling guilt at my failure as a husband and a father, feeling like I don't deserve any of the good things I've created in my own new life. It's hard, and I expect it will continue to have ramifications for me as long as I live.

All of that said, as I mentioned, their leaving was the right thing. I know that, and it puts a bit of a balm on the hurt knowing that she and I did, and are doing, what is in the best interests of our son, full stop. I see him as often as possible and it's always a good few days together. Over time, things have gotten less acutely painful, of course, and he is going to grow into the man that he will be better for the way things have played out, and that is a significant comfort.

iembalm wrote: Sorry to hear you have been going through that. Being apart from a child is very rough. It's the hardest thing I've had to go through myself, having had my marriage end and my wife and son move across the country (it was the correct thing) in 2013. In some ways, I am emotionally frozen in the moment that I watched my son walk away as they left to drive out to their new life without me. I see him as often as possible, but I've missed a third of his life. Besides just missing him, probably the most acute thing has been not being able to fully experience happiness, pleasure, or fulfillment without feeling guilt at my failure as a husband and a father, feeling like I don't deserve any of the good things I've created in my own new life. It's hard, and I expect it will continue to have ramifications for me as long as I live.

This is heart-breaking, I'm really sorry you had to (and still have to) go through it.

iembalm wrote: All of that said, as I mentioned, their leaving was the right thing. I know that, and it puts a bit of a balm on the hurt knowing that she and I did, and are doing, what is in the best interests of our son, full stop. I see him as often as possible and it's always a good few days together. Over time, things have gotten less acutely painful, of course, and he is going to grow into the man that he will be better for the way things have played out, and that is a significant comfort.

This is, for me, no less than heroic, though it is that everyday "stepping up and doing the most important job whatever that entails" that should always come with the territory, but so often doesn't. Salut! FM iembalm. I wish you years and years of fulfilling moments with your adult son.