According to Facebook "Memories" today is the 10th anniversary of finishing radiation treatment. I remember one thing about day.
When I got home I put on [media]<iframe style="border: 0; width: 350px; height: 470px;" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/alb ... rent=true/" seamless><a href=" Strain by Teeth</a></iframe>[/media]
And bawled my eyes out.

Jesus we're approaching the 10 year mark of John Grabski passing. 10 fucking years.. he was slightly older than I was at the time.. damn.

PASTA wrote: Thu Jan 13, 2022 9:45 am According to Facebook "Memories" today is the 10th anniversary of finishing radiation treatment. I remember one thing about day.
When I got home I put on [media]<iframe style="border: 0; width: 350px; height: 470px;" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/alb ... rent=true/" seamless><a href=" Strain by Teeth</a></iframe>[/media]
And bawled my eyes out.

Ten years. Damn.

So glad you're still around to make bread posts.

My close friend has a brother who is dealing with cancer surgery, chemo, etc.

My friend is not the type to just start spilling his thoughts and feelings about his brother's cancer, but I want to be able to talk about it with him.
I just don't really know how to broach this in an open, friendly, no-pressure-to-talk way.

Any tips or resources would be appreciated.

Teacher's Pet wrote: Thu Jan 13, 2022 6:56 pm My close friend has a brother who is dealing with cancer surgery, chemo, etc.

My friend is not the type to just start spilling his thoughts and feelings about his brother's cancer, but I want to be able to talk about it with him.
I just don't really know how to broach this in an open, friendly, no-pressure-to-talk way.

Any tips or resources would be appreciated.

Sometimes the best way is the simplest and most direct way, but we often have a blind spot around that way, or are avoiding it consciously or otherwise. Sometimes we avoid these conversations because of our own discomfort, though we think we're doing people a favor.

Imagine that your friend discovers this forum and reads this thread. He learns that you care about him and don't want to make him feel pressured, but are available to talk. Would he be mad, or would he appreciate that you're being considerate of his feelings and want to help? You know your friend infinitely better than I do, so if it's the latter, then maybe you should just approach him directly. If that doesn't feel right, then compose an email expressing what you said in this thread. That gives him time to think and not just react, and it spares you from having to say it perfectly in real-time.

So glad you're here, PASTA.

A close friend's step-brother wound up having colon/liver cancer surgery last year part of the way through the summer.

Last I had heard, he made it through Christmas just fine(minus the obvious rough patch after his surgery...)

Here's to hoping the guy gets as long as he wants.

Indeed. 2 years ago my wife lost her sister to pancreatic cancer. Her name was Kelly. She was the subject of this song, which is now too difficult to listen to.

I would like to submit a formal request to have cancer get fucked.

I remember the “fuck cancer” shirts and stuff in the 2000s and thought “fine, edgy stance against something clearly bad, why not”, but I just didn’t have enough personal experience to get that yes, fuck cancer - everything should fuck cancer. I would love a “cancer get fucked” shirt or “up yours cancer” shirt, just to change it up. I hate this.

My spouse Chris is 33. Strong, wicked smart and drop dead gorgeous. Well out of my league. We have been married for 7 years and known each other for 17. We’ve been watching and playing in each other’s bands our whole adult lives.We do everything together except rock climbing, that’s their thing.

Chris is the sweetest person in the world - and does all the caring for others in our lives that my troglodyte brain doesn’t think immediately how to do. You meet Chris one day and you’re good friends that day, and Chris never stops checking in.

When they told me around when we got married that they consider themselves non-binary and really generally prefer women, I thought that would be the toughest strain on our relationship. Haha, I always liked the ‘tomboys’ anyway. It turned out to be easy, because they still love me, and I love them.

What wasn’t easy was everything starting from last Thursday; when we went to the ER for a swollen lymph node that hadn’t gone down in a week. We thought it was a climbing injury that got infected. The ER doctor didn’t. We joked on the way to the CT that the wheel chair said “Michael Graves” on it. I knew I couldn’t trust that motherfucker. The doctor hid his emotion just long enough to get out that they found a mass in their chest, a large one, and there’s a high high likelyhood it’s lymphoma. He emphasized the treatability of lymphoma. We stayed overnight, got the biopsy in the morning and went home. Chris considered going to the climbing gym that afternoon.

By Sunday, Chris could barely walk around the house without getting winded.Chest pains. We got scared and went back to the ER. They did ultrasounds and ekg, gave us some stronger pain/anxiety meds, told us it looks the same and to monitor at home. All blood work and heart looks great. White blood cells, smallest bit elevated.

Tuesday we had appointment to meet the oncologist and get familiar with the possible biopsy results. We get there and the doc has some of the prelims. They found T-cells in two samples. It couldn’t be anything but T-Cell lymphoblastic lymphoma or T-cell Leukemia. I’ve never cried so much in my fucking life.
Chris complained of some chest tightness while running or singing for the last couple years - I thought it was just getting old, and anxiety. I have that. I also have regret. The oncologist says this isn’t a years thing, it’s a months thing, like less than 3. A large sweet potato sized chest mass in 3 months. They got us a bed in the cancer ward within the hour. Chris has now had an artery port installed, a spinal tap and a bone marrow biopsy. Chemo starts via spinal tap this morning. It’s Thursday again.

Fuck this fucking thing. If it takes my buddy, I’ll never, ever recover. They’re asleep right now - I love these moments, where they don’t have to think about it for a little bit longer.
Chris loves too hard to lose.

Edit: it’s Friday? Jesus.

I am very sorry to read this, TylerDeadPine. I wish you both strength while you navigate the path ahead.