Had a little gathering at the Sox game last night in memory of FM Warmowski's . A really fun, bittersweet event.

It's been Two Years since we lost our Brother FM Jacobwilliam. Gone but never forgotten.
Y'all, if yer in any doubt, DON'T FUCKING QUIT!

PASTA wrote: Sun Mar 06, 2022 4:48 pm It's been Two Years since we lost our Brother FM Jacobwilliam. Gone but never forgotten.
Y'all, if yer in any doubt, DON'T FUCKING QUIT!

RIP Jake and all who we have lost

Salut Jake! And salut John Grabski who left us nearly 10 years ago to the day. I think about them both quite often and find them inspiring in their own ways.

Rob was probably the best purely Chicago guy I have ever met. He had the city in his blood.

One of the Sox games we attended, he had a cadged Bridgeport parking pass that we used to park about a block away from the stadium. He signed it Heywood Jablowme. At some point in the game, against the Astros, Jose Altuve fouled off a pitch at about a million miles an hour, and it zipped right across the aisle from us and hammered this dude right in the chest (he was fine, strapping guy, fortunately didn't take it in the face or he would've died). Later I checked my DVR to see if we made the broadcast. We had. The still of us watching this happen was fucking incredible. Rob looked like an old lady that had seen a mouse. I've gotta have it someplace. Will post if I find it.

I talked at length with Amanda a couple of times, long ago. We hit it off. She was sharp, charming, and deeply, trenchantly funny. I really liked her and later just felt these twinges of sadness whenever I'd read stuff where she was clearly going off the rails or whatever. But when I think of her, it's about those couple of conversations and how much I enjoyed her company then.

Jake...well, I talked to Jake a lot. About a lot of things. We talked about music, women, life. A lot about drinking, esp before he quit. We talked a lot about suicide. I've talked with a number of people about both drinking and suicide, and sometimes it's helped them, it seems--at least they ended up getting sober and not dying.

But it doesn't hardly always work. And it's fucking hard to navigate. I think it helps--I *think* because really wtf do I know--to honor someone's thoughts and reasoning whether or not those thoughts are reasonable or even sane, because those thoughts come directly from their inner life, they're trusting you with them, and they're worth honoring as a complete person.

And critically even when they realize intellectually their reasoning sucks...they are still gonna feel the way they feel and think the way they think. You can't fight self-destruction with logic alone. You cannot burn it out of someone else, and they can't will it out of themselves. It has to straighten out through some combination of body chemistry and environment, or it just won't. You're just a little piece of the environmental factors that may--MAY--make a difference. And I know for a fact that a lot of us did make a difference in Jake's life for a long time.

He battled every day. He couldn't have tried any harder than he did. He was a lovable, loved person who felt almost everything a little too much.

Jake died right before COVID hit, and five weeks before he died my friend Kennan killed himself as well. Good times. All thru COVID, I figured I would mourn these most recent deaths in my circle of friends when I have the capacity to do it. It hasn't happened. I'm not sure it will.

Losing my buddy Michael in 2005 laid me out for months, years really in some ways, but as many did I learned so much from that experience. I'd much rather be dumber and yet more ignorant and still have him around, but we play the cards we are dealt.

Clearly we're all gonna die. Clearly we don't know when or how unless we hasten the event ourselves. But maybe not so clearly...though COVID should have surely crystallized this for us if nothing else does...the richness and vitality of life is almost entirely about the people we're surrounded by every day. Not even just our friends. Everyone! Secondarily, maybe a distant second, life is enriched by the depth of feeling we retain for those we've known and lost. But mostly it's about stretching our boundaries and loving people and allowing ourselves to be loved in return. We don't have to feel bad, continually, about everyone we've lost. They're still with us in some ways, sure--but physically they are in the past. We can hold them there, honored, but live in the present, carrying each other into the future, with our memories of everyone and everything else in tow.

fb memories kicked up this comment from Amanda which is pretty singular

I hate birds, but I understand why they are there and they're incredibly interesting from an evolutionary perspective, especially since tey throw the entire evolutionary hierarchy off track for how they evolved with reptiles.

I just hate being attacked by them constantly. Birds that have attacked me: Canadian geese, starling murmuration (all of it), a heron, unknown hawk (grazed my head), a FUCKING RAVEN IN A WINDSTROM, weird robinlike birds on the docks in NOLA., the rooster in Idaho, a pelican.

I've always been okay with ducks, hummingbirds, and crows. The other ones seem to have it out for me.

gonna have to write a song called "starling murmuration (all of it)"

rest easy

Brad Weissenberger.

There's more to write later but I'm still processing this....

penningtron wrote: Wed Mar 30, 2022 9:07 pm Brad Weissenberger.

There's more to write later but I'm still processing this....

Wow. That is rough. Honestly hits like a ton of bricks. Have been off FB for over a year now, and was wondering if he'd ever drop by here to share his incredible wit. Figured he would sooner or later. Damn. Condolences to everybody. Peace (through watery eyes).

Oh, that's awful. So sorry to read.

Jesus, wow. I've never met him personally but never had any doubt he is en exceptional human being and a stand-up man. This saddens me so I can only imagine how his friends (so a whole bunch of you fine people) and family (daughters!!) feel - strongest hugs, my heart is with you.




Fuck this.