Everyone is assuming that donut preservationists will just be throwing food away willy nilly because someone jacked with it. This is false, and in fact I submit that those slicing into normal sized portions to make them smaller are introducing more waste likelihood than the normal donut eater. Normal donut eaters will wonder what the fuck is wrong with the person who left an unnecessary donut remnant behind, be reminded again that the world is filled with fucking weirdos, and find a home for the donut remains. Usually we eat the thing and just hope for the best. I mean, only a human leaves something like that behind, right? Animals have enough sense not to waste this shit, don't they?

Eat the donut. Split the donut if you must. It's made for this.

Here - I'll offer yet another solution - get some fucking donut holes. There. Three solutions presented where you're not fucking up someone else's food. I always wondered who ate these things, and I guess I have the answer.

I don't even eat donuts and I'm fired up now. No sleep for me I suppose.

twelvepoint wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 5:13 pm It’s apple cider donut season here in New England, and that’s good.

It's goddamn glorious. Mrs. MSE came home with a bag of them today.

Frankie99 wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 6:39 pm I submit that those slicing into normal sized portions to make them smaller are introducing more waste likelihood than the normal donut eater.

Tell me you've never worked in an office without telling me you've never worked in an office.

MoreSpaceEcho wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 6:56 pm

twelvepoint wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 5:13 pm It’s apple cider donut season here in New England, and that’s good.

It's goddamn glorious. Mrs. MSE came home with a bag of them today.

Hell yeah. Wilson Farm near us in Lexington brings out the donut robot on weekends and you can get ‘em hot with mulled cider.

elisha wiesner wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 3:18 pm Do people actually eat the 5/6th of a dount that you leave?

sure, some do.

MoreSpaceEcho wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 3:44 pm What is the protocol in the case of Hostess Donettes?

Surely one shouldn't attempt to sixth such a diminutive donut, should one?

if there were only a few left and one had it on good information that others wanted some, yes, one should.

TylerDeadPine wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 5:41 pm

Frankie99 wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 4:25 pm Jesus Christ. Eat the fucking donut. If you can't eat a whole donut, don't take any at all. Don't want the whole donut? Fine. Find someone and split it with them. Problem solved. There wasn't even a problem, but you made one and now I've solved it for you since you can't do it yourself.

This perpetual division of what is perfectly designed for one person is what's wrong with shit today. Polite to the point of making everyone uncomfortable. It's a donut. It's made for one person. You're introducing a wild variable that's fucking shit up.

Y'all slicing up oysters and shit so there's enough to go around? Fuck's going on here?

^ that's about entirely it.

The sixther has also now dirtied a dish to get your portion of non-satisfaction, so actually in your self-important 'I don't want to take all of it', you've created energy waste.

My mother in law takes this to the extreme, never finishing anything and it's infuriating.

the knife was plastic.

and your mother in law finished enough to create your now-wife, so maybe you should be a little more grateful!

Hello FM sixther:

Would you ever divide something into sevenths or eighths, or is that going one step too far?

Anthony Flack wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 6:25 pm

sixther wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 9:10 am i believe our system of government, though FAR from perfect, is among the best in the world.

Hey this is no time for jokes. This donut business is a serious matter.

elisha wiesner wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 3:18 pm Do people actually eat the 5/6th of a dount that you leave?

People who aren't degenerate habitual food wasters would see no problem with it. How are we supposed to get to net zero if we can't even countenance the thought of coexisting with half-donuts? Hello world, it's me, a westerner, throwing high-calorie industrially-processed foods into the garbage once again. Hey, it's either that or overeating right? Sorry no, we can't adjust our habits. Cleaning a knife would be energy waste.

And a donut is among the easiest of things to divide, having no centre. It's just a small ring cake. I say the real bun cunts are the ones who insist on enforcing a pointless adherence to meaningless standards out of some misguided sense of propriety, which strikes me as a little fascist, a little bit donazi.

FASCISM HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.

jfv wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 7:42 pm Hello FM sixther:

Would you ever divide something into sevenths or eighths, or is that going one step too far?

totally acceptable. "sixthing" just sounds so much better than "eighthing" though. eighthing sounds like something my high school girlfriend did when she bought an ounce of weed and wanted to sell it.