I asked around, and she was recommended to me by a friend. I've since recommended her to other people. If you are in Chicago, let me know, and I'll recommend her to you. Or actually, even if you're not--she's been all telehealth since COVID started. It's the same therapy, just from your couch instead of hers.TylerDeadPine wrote:I'm having a really hard time finding one that covers what I'm looking for (cancer/grief support), that is in my network, that is accepting patientseephus wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 10:55 pm
Eventually went to talk therapy after my brain could process shit again, and that worked wonders, particularly EMDR. I'll always be grateful for finding a great shrink.How did you guys go about finding someone good?
And therapy PLUS meds works best of all. Psych Rx are meant to help you function enough to get to the point where psychotherapy can work. I see so many people go on and off Rx, and when I ask what their therapist said about changing Rx the frequent answer is "I'm between therapists." Seeing a psychiatrist (sorry but yuchhh based on my professional experience) for half an hour once a month does not count as therapy. Restoring and maintaining one's mental health takes a whole team, and there's nothing to be ashamed of about that.Mickey242 wrote: Fri Oct 07, 2022 1:05 am Guys just please, If one med dosen't work don't give up. Therapy helps I swear. Good luck to all of you! xooxxoox
Good of you to offer. I don't think so*. I still have two little avenues to explore, one of which is a real hail Mary I'll be dealing with by appointment on Wednesday.
Thanks a ton - yeah if you can fire me off her name that would be great I'll see if it's a good fiteephus wrote: Thu Oct 06, 2022 10:29 pmI asked around, and she was recommended to me by a friend. I've since recommended her to other people. If you are in Chicago, let me know, and I'll recommend her to you. Or actually, even if you're not--she's been all telehealth since COVID started. It's the same therapy, just from your couch instead of hers.TylerDeadPine wrote:I'm having a really hard time finding one that covers what I'm looking for (cancer/grief support), that is in my network, that is accepting patientseephus wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 10:55 pm
Eventually went to talk therapy after my brain could process shit again, and that worked wonders, particularly EMDR. I'll always be grateful for finding a great shrink.
I think not kidding yourself about your condition and just talking to people in general terms fairly openly is valuable in many many many ways.
One of the main ways is that other people will open up to you, and you'll find in your struggles a common humanity--emphasis on "common," as in there's nothing special about it. It's just part of being a person. And people will want to help you, and you'll find a good shrink in time, among many other things.
We have started couples therapy, but she is telling me that our relationship is too far gone, and that she now feels like I am a platonic friend, not her husband or lover, and has little faith that she can rekindle those feelings. Last night, she started sleeping in our extra bedroom because she feels like sleeping in the same bed is dishonest. I can't afford individual therapy on top of couples therapy. My stomach is in knots, I sleep only intermittently between horrific nightmares, and have mostly lost my appetite. Constantly on the verge of tears. I can't imagine that this will end. As an introverted man who works for himself, I've made her the center of my world, and I don't know how to proceed without that, and without the belief that some joys overcome all suffering.bigc wrote: Tue Sep 20, 2022 4:00 pm Having one of the most difficult weeks I can recall.
My wife told me last week that she is profoundly unhappy in our marriage of 20 years, thanks in large part to substance abuse issues I am only recently aware of. For the last 7 or so years I've been working for myself, which has given me quite a bit of freedom to do what I want when I want. That has meant spending more and more time drinking with pals (and alone), smoking too much weed, and essentially ignoring her needs more and more as time has passed. The pandemic kicked that dynamic into high gear. When she shared her feelings with me, I was already planning on 'taking a break' from drinking after a particularly decadent weekend. I spent the next 3-4 days with what turned out to be alcohol withdrawal. Doing the math, I have not gone a day without 2-3 drinks since January 2022, and only then because of a dry January challenge. She is now in another city dealing with family matters, and I am home, alone, hanging onto any shred of hope that I have for saving our marriage. All I can think are hopeless, negative thoughts.
Not drinking/smoking has been quite easy. The withdrawal process really scared the shit out of me, and once I felt sober, I realized that I have been in some sort of listless, absent fog for years now. I feel positive about sobriety, but terrible about how I have made her feel. I feel like I've abandoned her.
The uncertainty is starting to have physical effects. My heart races, my stomach hurts, and I can't sleep.
This in particular is a huge hoof in the nuts, but it's one you can focus on changing right now. Haul yourself out to some meets where you can socialise amongst other stuff - I have found board games to be a huge blessing where this is concerned. Get yourself a little circle or two, not necessarily to spill your guts, but just to be able to point at parts of your calendar and say, "Time with 'my' people".bigc wrote: Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:35 am All of my friends are her friends, so I really have nowhere to turn.
It's really just that we share pretty much all the same friends, and she's the only one who has friends of her own in other areas. Mostly because she has other areas. I don't even know where to begin on finding get togethers, or other people, really.A_Man_Who_Tries wrote: Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:59 am This in particular is a huge hoof in the nuts, but it's one you can focus on changing right now. Haul yourself out to some meets where you can socialise amongst other stuff - I have found board games to be a huge blessing where this is concerned. Get yourself a little circle or two, not necessarily to spill your guts, but just to be able to point at parts of your calendar and say, "Time with 'my' people".
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