I hate it when songs self-reference that it is a song ie: lyrics that mention 'singing along'

Why bother?

sparky wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 8:09 am

losthighway wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 7:22 am

kokorodoko wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 12:40 am

I live in Sweden. And who knows if it matters in the long run I just want something different.

You're probably aware that Sweden is on a short list of countries carried in the hearts of American progressives as places where "things are better".

Sweden’s no progressive utopia.

Disappointing, but not surprising.

This tends to happen when you idealize a place. Crappiness can be found everywhere. Although in relative crappiness it might still be a better place. I mean, are Norwegians being jerks to Asians? Maybe I should focus on New Zealand for my escape plan?

sparky wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 8:09 amSweden’s no progressive utopia.

From inside the U.S., it absolutely does look like a utopia, considering a metric like this:

source


I'm in St. Louis, where this just happened a few hours ago. Sweden looks pretty great right now.

losthighway wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 7:22 amYou're probably aware that Sweden is on a short list of countries carried in the hearts of American progressives as places where "things are better".

Certainly, but how one feels about one's environment is never reducible to objective factors like that.

When you live in one particular environment, you become set in certain habitual patterns, which are reinforced continuously by belonging to a kind of wider common sense of the ethical and linguistic community. They are therefore quite hard to break out of, much harder than simply identifying one behaviour and choosing to modify it. There is a certain way in which you are used to greeting people, roles you continuously fall into with friends and acquaintances, and by extension with all new people you meet where memory traces of earlier encounters provide you with a shorthand of what is proper and expected to do.

One of the things that can be unsettling about meeting a person from a different culture is that you lack those common reference points. But that can at the same time open up a space of freedom, for both of you. Particularly if you place yourself in another environment or are initiated into some group in that environment. Being forced to improvise without the security of common reference points might move you into new behaviour patterns. Then you are able to look at your previous environment from the outside, and compare to your new environment, and escape the fixity of your natural, common sensical behaviour patterns. You might then face your previous environment with a new form of independence, should you choose to. I imagine it could happen like that, at least.

I might come to find the same things to be dissatisfied with. But at least it would be a different dissatisfaction.

It is over this that I'm expressing my frustration, and the fact that I'm too unorganized to do something about it.

^ I wouldn't be too hard on myself about that. Aside from the benefits you've articulated so well, going expat is really fucking hard. I've only a few friends who ever really made it happen for any stretch of time. I've only gotten out of my head by changing my environment for weeks at a time, although it pays off in the medium term if you have the right adventure.

Now I want to go to South America again.

Christopher wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 4:08 pm

sparky wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 8:09 amSweden’s no progressive utopia.

From inside the U.S., it absolutely does look like a utopia, considering a metric like this:

source


I'm in St. Louis, where this just happened a few hours ago. Sweden looks pretty great right now.

I am sorry to hear of that local shooting, FM Christopher. I read about it this morning. America’s problems with guns are sadly bad enough to be pretty extensively covered in the UK.

I'm 44. Have a wife of 21+ years. Two awesome kids. A good job for 17+ years. A band for 25+ years.

And I'm still not happy.

What the fuck?

jfv wrote: Wed Oct 26, 2022 1:28 am I'm 44. Have a wife of 21+ years. Two awesome kids. A good job for 17+ years. A band for 25+ years.

And I'm still not happy.

What the fuck?

Do you feel chronically unhappy? I assume like other people, your own happiness ebbs and flows, and what makes you happy is unique to you, perhaps itself changing?

Your post was rather brief, so I don't want to project, but I also have hit similar life events and also wrestle with feeling - in my case I'd call it "personally fulfilled." FOR ME, I feel like focusing a little more on mindfulness, and accepting things that are out of my control has helped a lot. Also, for my entire life I've thought I should be more goal-oriented, but I've accepted that I can be on a journey and The End doesn't have to be what drives me. That may be way different for you, but the broader point is I have been trying to challenge some of my fundamental assumptions which may be helping my own headspace.

I think this is a great great topic that intersects with the mental health support thread but perhaps should exist a separate thread.

twelvepoint wrote: Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:12 am

jfv wrote: Wed Oct 26, 2022 1:28 am I'm 44. Have a wife of 21+ years. Two awesome kids. A good job for 17+ years. A band for 25+ years.

And I'm still not happy.

What the fuck?

Do you feel chronically unhappy? I assume like other people, your own happiness ebbs and flows, and what makes you happy is unique to you, perhaps itself changing?

I have bouts with being depressed, but it’s not chronic, and probably not severe.

It’s just what I was thinking last night.

And… though I used the word “unhappy”, last night it wasn’t really so much in the vein of being depressed… rather that I feel like I should be doing something else with my life. In retrospect, "unsatisfied" was probably the more appropriate word.

But I am extremely fortunate with what I have, hence the “what the fuck?” at the end.