I was just hearing a story from a relative about a well to do family (everybody here would recognize the patriarch). who have been in the arts for generations and done very well at it. The youngest son is in a band signed to well known independent label, made best of lists in Spin, toured the world, sold out shows, etc…etc… Basically made it as far as an indie band can go. His parents are wondering when he’ll settle down and get a real job and have babies. So basically dont expect that there isnt pressure on people to conform to society, even if theyre into it.

Is the bass player more like David WM. Sims or like Guy Berryman? I. E. Do they contribute to the sound or are they just there?

If he is a good friend, then cherish that - and get a new bass player.

Be prepared that nobody actually cares about you, your dreams or your songs. Keep hitting your head against the wall until you make it and keep your academic diploma near.

Like everyone else, I am backing up Randall on this. Don't try to push someone who isn't into Going For It if they're not comfortable. Touring extensively is HARD without support -- there is no way my band ever could have done it without living in squalor, or at least a gnarly punk house together, and the band wouldn't have lasted very long had we tried it. I'm happier to have kept this band going for 20+ years than I would have been had we really Gone For It and flamed out.