There could very well be a thread about this, and if so, we can deal with it later.
I've been noticing that my obsession with gear has been affecting my mental heath a bit lately. I've been thinking about it more and more since writing this post.
https://www.premierrockforum.com/viewto ... 65#p839465
I just want to tell a little story and open the floor in case anyone else has similar things to share. Mainly, I just need to tell someone this stuff who might understand.
I have a new band. It's going great and I'm very excited. We're playing Caterwaul on the Sunday. One of my joys when I start a new band is that I get to pick the gear I'm going to use and define the sonic palette for the band. This is why I had the thread on dual amp setup. This is why I had the weirdo preamp thread. I began trying different guitars and swapping pickups. I wanted something that looked cool, that spoke to me, and that was a change. As I was doing all of this, nothing was really clicking. I started to feel anxious. I was trying all sorts of crazy gear shit because I have access to all sorts of crazy gear, but nothing felt right.
I went through a big creative drought after the death of my friend Chris, who also played drums for Cartographer and Replicator. Any time I'd write music that would have been for Cartographer, I kind of just put it aside, or I'd get sad and just do something else. The grief was really deep inside. I was sad. I'd talk about it. My life was great. I though I was getting over it. Inside, though, there was a deep creative void. If I wrote anything too close to my old style, I'd feel guilty. I would feel a kind of musical despair. So, instead of dealing with the deep loss, I tried to change my sound. It was the same music, but I was hoping that if I put the songs through different gear that the change of sound would change the feeling associate with the songs... or at least the feeling associated with the creation of the songs.
Of course, nothing sounded as good. The new gear never felt right. The changes always resulted in a lesser result. So I began migrating back to my old tools. A few practices back, we were just running through some songs. I did a quick setup for a low volume run through in my home studio. I had a simple setup; guitar, boost pedal, amp. I realized that I was only really turning on the boost pedal once or twice in a set. So I told myself "fuck it, no pedals".
Since then, I've plugged my guitar straight into my amp. It's kind of an obvious "duh" moment, but it felt so freeing! I was just pushing through the bullshit, using MY guitar, MY amp, my body, and nothing else. Maybe I'm putting too much into this, but I don't think so. I had been using gear to run away from grief and now by using my old configuration in the rawest possible form, I think it allowed me to work through some shit. It was also comforting to tear everything down and know that I can be creative and do interesting, cool shit without hiding behind anything extra.
If I feel that I want to add something, that's fine. Sometimes I get curious and change things up. Mainly, though, there was a lot going on inside, behind the scenes, that lead to a tone-quest that really had nothing to do with sound at all.
Thanks everyone.
Gear and Psychology... maybe even mental health
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Last edited by benadrian on Wed May 29, 2024 5:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.