Pretty Fly For A White Guy.....

If that song did anything, it validated the argument of what constitutes "real punk".

That is to say, if a song shares x number of characteristics with Pretty Fly for a White Guy, it's not actually punk.

Has there been mention of that 4 Non Blondes song yet? Possibly the worst vocal performance in history.

losthighway wrote: Mon May 06, 2024 6:31 pm You could probably put any medical anatomy on the lyrical floor and it would be worthy of ridicule.

"The spleen falls upon the rug!"

The ulna falls to the tile

brephophagist wrote: Fri May 10, 2024 11:37 am

losthighway wrote: Mon May 06, 2024 6:31 pm You could probably put any medical anatomy on the lyrical floor and it would be worthy of ridicule.

"The spleen falls upon the rug!"

The ulna falls to the tile

The frenulum falls between the couch cushions.

Appalled that no one thought of Mulder and Scully (song)...

^You just reminded me of this grating shit:

Let’s go through one by one here.

Wonderwall: first off, the Gallagher bros seem like right foul gits, if I am using the correct local terms. The mid to late 90s music press was so obsessed with reporting updates on a sibling rivalry no one asked for, and on their grandiose bullshit to the point that journalists were comparing them to the Beatles, only because the main songwriter twit said he was the next John Lennon. Motherfucker, you’re lucky they weren’t comparing you to Gallagher the prop comic, your whole deal was smashing a tub of garbage with a sledgehammer and getting a mess on everyone around. Now, to Wonderwall. This is the worst of their big hit songs, probably because none of it was lifted from another better song from the 60s. I’ll give them credit for being a less obvious Smashmouth and for at least not ripping off the melody to the fucking theme song from Mannequin. The delivery is awful with the nasally repeat of the same drawn out note over and over again, getting more irritating every time it was replayed, continuing on until today. How does a song this bad have such longevity? 0/10, no stars.

What I Got: this song becoming a hit seems like a participation trophy for the lead singer dying before it was released. There was a lot of in memoriam shit on the radio and MTV that would be announced when this song was played as if anyone knew who the fuck he was beforehand. I’ll give them credit for following up his boast about “playing the guitar like a motherfucking riot” with some sub-shreds level plinking. Honestly “Santeria” was more overplayed, but had an ok melody to go along with the atrocious lyrics. This one also has surprising longevity to the point they’re still touring. I’ve heard the singer’s son is in the band now? Not gonna research this but man what a rough legacy to leave your kid to deal with. I suppose covering your dad’s hit song over and over again beats flipping burgers. 0/10, no stars.

Name: this one still gets played on grocery store muzak systems nationwide. If it’s to hurry you along your way and nauseate you so that you don’t shop hungry, maybe this is a good thing. I get this one mixed up with Toad The Wet Sprocket, maybe because they also are on the forever grocery jam playlist too. I don’t remember this one being as overplayed as the others but it has been made up for as commercial background music for the following 3 decades. I got kicked out of a Goo Goo Dolls concert in high school for throwing fruit at the stage when they played the local festival on MSU campus as the non legacy act that had a hit between 3-5 years beforehand. They had some heavier songs and apparently were originally a punk band. So “Name” was their version of a 80s metal band doing and acoustic ballad to have a big radio hit. Saigon Kick ass bullshit.

Glycerine: this is the least grating one on the list, although a low bar to clear. I think they named this one based on nirvana having a ballad called lithium and Mudhoney having a ballad called acetone and figured they’d pick another chemical, add meaningless lyrics using the same rhyme scheme as all their other songs, and run with it. It’s the opposite of Once In A Lifetime because he demands that you don’t let the days go by, and I disagree. It was a good song to play on the guitar to a girl you wanted to make out with without debasing yourself enough to strum out a Dave Matthew Band ballad. 1/10, half a star.

Lightning Crashes: PLACENTA. PLACENTA PLACENTA. Me and my friends spent a lot of time talking about placentas falling to the floor, the sound a placenta makes when it hits the floor, the butterfingers hospital staff who would drop a placenta on the floor, “cleanup in room 237”, singing along to the song replacing all the words with placenta, on and on. This was a big part of 1994 for me. There was eventually a different version of the song the local alt rock station 92.1 “The Edge” started playing that dropped the placenta verse and we would call in and complain that the people demand to hear about placentas falling to the floor. If I’m gonna be treated with this song I deserve to hear the line about placentas falling to the floor. The lead singer of this band seems like a real douche also. 0/10, no stars.

Santa Monica: this one did not get as much play as the others on my local radio. All of the Everclear songs I’ve heard have some variation on the same melody but with a slightly different chord rhythm. I guess get your formula straight and keep banging it against the wall until something breaks through. It’s a middling song that means nothing to me, but I might have more ire for it if I had heard it as many times as the others in this list. 0/10, no stars

Tight race betweeen Wonderwall and Lightning Crashes, but in the end I have to go with Wonderwall, for reasons explained upthread.

Me: Thanks to the fucking PRF I have that stupid Lightning Crashes song stuck in my head.
Wife: What song is that?
Me: [Spoken, not sung] "Her placenta falls to the floor."
Wife: Just don't.

I can't believe I actually read that, Jimbo.