That's super solid and more grounded than my advice on the subject.

I just wanted to do a repost of The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast, which I support and revisit whenever I need to know I'm not alone. Has done me a ton of good over the years, and can maybe serve as a tiny stop gap if you are having trouble finding group or solo therapy etc.
You can root around in the available episodes for relevant topics, or use the search function up top.

The Mental Illness Happy Hour

There's also an active forum/community over there.

matttkkkk wrote: Tue Jul 16, 2024 1:51 pm…you may feel the need to apologise but my gut is that you shouldn’t send promises of change.

100%

The black dog is back. I have that caustic feeling inside. Medication doesn’t seem to be working. I’m constantly having to remind myself not to stand in my own traffic.

I’m so sick of the heat. I went to Vermont and Quebec last month, and it followed me up there. It was 100F in Montpelier and 95F in Montreal. The whole point of the trip was to get away from the heat. The older I get, the more it messes with my body and mind, especially when humidity is involved. I suspect medications are toying with my body’s ability to regulate heat, and I should probably make an appointment.

Looking forward to bouncing back.

Dave N. wrote: Fri Jul 19, 2024 8:39 am The black dog is back. I have that caustic feeling inside. Medication doesn’t seem to be working. I’m constantly having to remind myself not to stand in my own traffic.

I’m so sick of the heat. I went to Vermont and Quebec last month, and it followed me up there. It was 100F in Montpelier and 95F in Montreal. The whole point of the trip was to get away from the heat. The older I get, the more it messes with my body and mind, especially when humidity is involved. I suspect medications are toying with my body’s ability to regulate heat, and I should probably make an appointment.

Looking forward to bouncing back.

I've lived in southern California my whole life, and I find my heat tolerance is slipping too. My psych meds journey coincided with some significant weight gain, which has exacerbated the effect. That said, humidity is the real bitch. It's not humid here typically, but in May my wife and I went to New Orleans, and I'd honestly take 100F+ in a dry environment over low 80'sF with humidity. There's no bodily mechanism for cooling off in that, no relief in shade or with a breeze, and frankly it's exhausting, which doesn't help with other already exhausting mental health goings on. I feel you man. Sorry your trip didn't work out as a respite from the heat, that's always a bummer. I know it's not as nice as a trip to a less brutal destination, but I find cold showers to be very cathartic. Hang in there and stay cool if you can. Don't forget a different season isn't far off, something to look forward to.

I used to love summer, but I'm inclined to say fuck it now. Tired of heat.

Personally, I'd rather be dealing with this summer than the last. Barring imminent catastrophe, more things seem to be aligned in my favor now. Last summer I was smack in the middle of a couple of labor-intensive projects, in different mediums, with no end in sight. Had less money in my pocket and my dad had had a stroke. Life kinda sucked. Life might still kinda suck, in some ways, a good chunk of the time, but I feel better equipped to channel negative feelings. There's a way of recognizing the flaws in so many things, oneself, and others, but then ultimately shrugging it all off and getting down to the task(s) at hand. Beyond pain or discomfort, there's usually a way of centering oneself on something better.

That said, I will cop to summer being my least favorite season. It might be foolish to pretend otherwise. I go biking in Florida semi-regularly, year round, at different hours of the day, and about an hour ago was the first time in 2024 that that weird heat-induced tightness in the chest appeared. It's a strange feeling to have creep up on you while out and about.

bigc wrote: Mon May 06, 2024 11:48 am

bigc wrote: Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:46 pm There is no amount of supplementation or daily protocols that will soften the blow of having your wife tell you she's found a place to live by herself.

I posted this over a year ago, after months of agonizing separation from my wife where we saw very little of each other, and communicated only out of necessity. She moved into her apartment on May 3, 2023. She's now been in that apartment one year.

We started spending some deliberate time together in June 2023. Those hangs were often awkward, but we found that we retained our connection, and still really enjoyed each other's company. Over the ensuing months, we spent more and more time together, started being affectionate (thought not intimate) again, and even started saying 'I love you' to each other again. We started reading books on how to navigate marriage difficulty, and we started seeing a marriage counselor in February.

She told me last night that, despite all of our efforts to reunite, she can't find the feeling she needs to reenter our marriage. I tell her I miss her, ask when we can spend time together, and we communicate often - but she claims she doesn't feel the same pull to be with me.

We've been together for 27 years, since I was 22 years old.

After seeing each other regularly during our separation, and engaging in ongoing marriage counseling for the last six months, we came to the conclusion yesterday that we should start the process of divorce.

One of my best friends of 25 years died of cirrhosis on Tuesday July 16th, too.

I can barely breathe.

Good luck, this will be hard I’m sure, but even a sad resolution is still a resolution. I hope you can put your energy into good things for yourself now that you’re not hoping for an outcome that wasn’t likely.

matttkkkk wrote: Mon Jul 29, 2024 8:45 am Good luck, this will be hard I’m sure, but even a sad resolution is still a resolution. I hope you can put your energy into good things for yourself now that you’re not hoping for an outcome that wasn’t likely.

I've been playing more music, picked the cello back up after 25 years, have been expanding my friend group, staying relatively sober, and exercising almost daily since she moved out. I'm having a hard time coming up with new ways to positively engage myself at this point.

bigc wrote: Mon Jul 29, 2024 8:29 am After seeing each other regularly during our separation, and engaging in ongoing marriage counseling for the last six months, we came to the conclusion yesterday that we should start the process of divorce.

You'll look back on this as the start of something. It's necessary and you're capable of seeing it through. Chin up.