I'm not exactly sure how close I came to death, but here's what happened:
When I was about 7 or 8, there was a hill that everybody would go sledding on. One way down led into a street (thankfully never really busy), one way led onto a solid ice pond (always a thrill) and one way led to the picnic area, which was pretty open. A friend and I decided to go 'doubles' on his sled (a 'Rosebud' type that you could steer). That meant we both lay on the sled with me on top. I don't know why, but he decided on the way down to try to steer us under a picnic table. There was a nail sticking out from the underside and as we went through, it caught the top of my head and tore a gash into my scalp. I ended up getting thirteen stitches. I suppose it could have been worse.
Your Near Death Experience!
22Dylan wrote:
Save this story. It's a strong contender for the "Nearly Lost an Eye" thread.
There was a nail sticking out from the underside and as we went through, it caught the top of my head and tore a gash into my scalp
Save this story. It's a strong contender for the "Nearly Lost an Eye" thread.
Your Near Death Experience!
24This thread, she very good, no? I almos' a die-a too, lemme to tell you ...
One time, inna the Richmond, I am 17. I play the chitarra on the stage, and then the geeg it is over, yes? So we go inna the van, driving, down alla the way to the James-a River. The beer, it wasa drinking fine, so fine, anna the cigarettes had not the tobacco but the other, you know. The green-a weed thata smells like-a the hay, and makes me to laugh and laugh ...
Then, we are at the river, me and the other guy, and the two ladies. So cold, that night, and the river, so high! The water, "flood stage," they call it, and so loud! But the Fender Twin make the ears go "EEEEEEEEE" from the gig, and the cigarettes and the beer make me laugh, and so I do not so much know about the swimming, it is bad. Also, the brown liquor wasa there too. Ahhh, so gooda, yes? In vino veritas? No no. Warming but making of the stupid, you see.
But the night, she izza lovely, no? So offa I put the jeans on the ground, and the shirt, and the socks, and the Chuck Taylors, but notta the underwear! For I have never worna the "tighty-whiteys" or the "boxers"! So now I am naked, you see, with the girl watching, yes? You know this? I am-a, how-a you say, the foobar. And SPLASH! into the river! And the girl, so pretty, but she cry and cry ... like the vitello before she become the scallopine, yes?
Anna then, I see, oh no! The sign! Twenty feet, the sign, she say! Twenty feet above the "flood stage". And the radio, and the policia, and the newspapers all with the warnings ... flood ... flood ... flood ... as if to swim on such a lovely night is not good but bad! No no, bene ... bene ... I laugh and laugh ... But the girl, she cry.
The water, so cold she is! The penis, she very small now, very small, like-a the acorn. The ballsack, she too, issa gone! Up inna the throat! And the arms and legs, they no work so good! So cold! It make me very sad, so sad to be not moving. But the river, she moves! And cold!
But the tree, she lays inna the river. She saves me, one of her lovely branches, with the leaves anna the bark, reaches out and hooks me under the pit of the arm. So, I crawl out of the river. So lucky! The arm, she very stiff, but the tree, she catches me!
So many scratches and blood! The river, she has rocks! This, she no tell me.
And so, backa to the van I walk. So cold! And the van, where is she? So far ... and then the girl, so pretty, but she crying still! And the others, they now crying too. But I am here!
Now I cry too, for the penis, it is still small, the little purple acorn, and the girl, she has seen it, no?
Also, the beer, she gone from me now, and the rocks, they make the marks, the racing stripes, maybe, down my back and my butt and she hurts, no? The skin, she have the bumps of the goose, from walking so so far in the cold and wet ... also, the leaves and mud, they are in the hair, making me not the handsome but dirtball, with more of the blood and mess.
Oh, she lovely, the river.
One time, inna the Richmond, I am 17. I play the chitarra on the stage, and then the geeg it is over, yes? So we go inna the van, driving, down alla the way to the James-a River. The beer, it wasa drinking fine, so fine, anna the cigarettes had not the tobacco but the other, you know. The green-a weed thata smells like-a the hay, and makes me to laugh and laugh ...
Then, we are at the river, me and the other guy, and the two ladies. So cold, that night, and the river, so high! The water, "flood stage," they call it, and so loud! But the Fender Twin make the ears go "EEEEEEEEE" from the gig, and the cigarettes and the beer make me laugh, and so I do not so much know about the swimming, it is bad. Also, the brown liquor wasa there too. Ahhh, so gooda, yes? In vino veritas? No no. Warming but making of the stupid, you see.
But the night, she izza lovely, no? So offa I put the jeans on the ground, and the shirt, and the socks, and the Chuck Taylors, but notta the underwear! For I have never worna the "tighty-whiteys" or the "boxers"! So now I am naked, you see, with the girl watching, yes? You know this? I am-a, how-a you say, the foobar. And SPLASH! into the river! And the girl, so pretty, but she cry and cry ... like the vitello before she become the scallopine, yes?
Anna then, I see, oh no! The sign! Twenty feet, the sign, she say! Twenty feet above the "flood stage". And the radio, and the policia, and the newspapers all with the warnings ... flood ... flood ... flood ... as if to swim on such a lovely night is not good but bad! No no, bene ... bene ... I laugh and laugh ... But the girl, she cry.
The water, so cold she is! The penis, she very small now, very small, like-a the acorn. The ballsack, she too, issa gone! Up inna the throat! And the arms and legs, they no work so good! So cold! It make me very sad, so sad to be not moving. But the river, she moves! And cold!
But the tree, she lays inna the river. She saves me, one of her lovely branches, with the leaves anna the bark, reaches out and hooks me under the pit of the arm. So, I crawl out of the river. So lucky! The arm, she very stiff, but the tree, she catches me!
So many scratches and blood! The river, she has rocks! This, she no tell me.
And so, backa to the van I walk. So cold! And the van, where is she? So far ... and then the girl, so pretty, but she crying still! And the others, they now crying too. But I am here!
Now I cry too, for the penis, it is still small, the little purple acorn, and the girl, she has seen it, no?
Also, the beer, she gone from me now, and the rocks, they make the marks, the racing stripes, maybe, down my back and my butt and she hurts, no? The skin, she have the bumps of the goose, from walking so so far in the cold and wet ... also, the leaves and mud, they are in the hair, making me not the handsome but dirtball, with more of the blood and mess.
Oh, she lovely, the river.
Your Near Death Experience!
25Once, I must have been 16 years old or so, we are at a party and a friend of mine was going to drive home _really_ drunk. I think, "hell, I'm almost passed out by now, I might as well take a ride home with him as well" as the guy lived near me. Then another friend of mine comes to me and says: "no, you are not going to that car, the guy is too drunk" and I'm like "yes, I am" and he's like "no, you're not", etc, etc .. And finally he says "I'll kick your ass right here right now if you'll take that ride. You'll get your ass back to the party and sleep the night there. ". We'll I don't want to get my ass kicked so back I go and pass out at the party. On the next day I hear that the guy has crashed the car to a lightpole and he had only broken his arm and is OK. Later that day we go see the car and the engine has come right through the dashboard, through the passagers seat and landed on the backseat. No need to say were I would have sat.
When I was about 7 years old we dropped a bea-nest (or something like that .. forgive my english). As we started to run away from the angry beas, I stepped on the damn nest and got all the beas attacking at me. I ran home screaming (which was not far) and got taken to the hospital right away since there was like four million beas on me. The doctor said that if this had happened a few months earlier I would have died for sure. Now, luckily the winter was coming and the beas were practically lethargic (or whatever the hell they do) and really had no poison in them. All I got was shitloads of stings.
When I was about 7 years old we dropped a bea-nest (or something like that .. forgive my english). As we started to run away from the angry beas, I stepped on the damn nest and got all the beas attacking at me. I ran home screaming (which was not far) and got taken to the hospital right away since there was like four million beas on me. The doctor said that if this had happened a few months earlier I would have died for sure. Now, luckily the winter was coming and the beas were practically lethargic (or whatever the hell they do) and really had no poison in them. All I got was shitloads of stings.
Your Near Death Experience!
26this just came back to me as i was trying to fall asleep this morning. it's funny, i was trying to think before of a near-death experience and thought i hadn't had any!
a friend had just moved up to DC from NC and we were gonna start looking for a house with a band-suitable basement. so he was staying in my kitchen for a month or however long it took to find a house. his first week in DC. we went to a show at the Velvet Lounge, which was only like a 10 minute walk from my apartment (in Columbia Heights). we got pretty toasted and left when they closed the place, 3am or something. we walked back to my place, and when we were about half a block from my apartment, i noticed two guys walking on the opposite side of the street, in the same direction. i thought nothing of it. then we came up to a guy on our side of the street, who promptly pulled out a handgun and spun me around and put it to the back of my head. i then noticed that in addition to the two guys on the other side of the street, who had now crossed over and joined in, there were also three or four more kids who had come up behind us. so now it's me and my friend, with like 6 or 7 teenagers surrounding us, one of them with a gun pressed on the back of my skull. i promptly bust out with "it's not real. that gun isn't real" cause i really didn't feel like it was. (a friend later pointed out, "how many real guns have you had to the back of your head, that you know what a real one feels like?") my friend, who is sensible, was thinking about how he didn't have any insurance, and if he were to get shot or stabbed, he'd have a lifetime of medical bills to pay off, if he survived. so he was standing with his hands up like a sensible person would. a couple of the kids took everything from his pockets, and one was starting to take stuff out of my pockets, too. i pushed his hand away, and was promptly punched in the face twice by the guy with the gun, still to my head. i turned and faced him and started yelling "what'd i do? what the fuck?!" and he told me to shut up. i said "you want my money? here!" and gave him the 10 or 15 dollars i had in my back left pocket. then they all ran away. which was great, since they only got the stuff in my left pockets (cell phone and digital camera, which motherfucker, was full of great shots i had taken at the show at the velvet. that was a pisser.) but they didn't get the stuff in my right pockets, which was my wallet and house keys. they took my friends keys and wallet. he had a hell of a time getting a new license, since he was in DC with no ID. he had no keys so he couldn't move his car, which was in danger of being towed. he lost all his credit cards, etc. if they woulda got my keys, i don't know how we would have even gotten back into my apartment. so all in all, it was worth the two punches to the face to not lose the keys and wallet.
but yeah, that may have been a near-death experience, if the gun was real. apparently questioning the authenticity of a gun to your head is not the proper course of action. for me the jury's still out on that one.
(happy ending though, we did end up renting a nice house in Arlington, VA, where we are able to rock out in the basement after only minor acoustical treatment. so that's nice)
a friend had just moved up to DC from NC and we were gonna start looking for a house with a band-suitable basement. so he was staying in my kitchen for a month or however long it took to find a house. his first week in DC. we went to a show at the Velvet Lounge, which was only like a 10 minute walk from my apartment (in Columbia Heights). we got pretty toasted and left when they closed the place, 3am or something. we walked back to my place, and when we were about half a block from my apartment, i noticed two guys walking on the opposite side of the street, in the same direction. i thought nothing of it. then we came up to a guy on our side of the street, who promptly pulled out a handgun and spun me around and put it to the back of my head. i then noticed that in addition to the two guys on the other side of the street, who had now crossed over and joined in, there were also three or four more kids who had come up behind us. so now it's me and my friend, with like 6 or 7 teenagers surrounding us, one of them with a gun pressed on the back of my skull. i promptly bust out with "it's not real. that gun isn't real" cause i really didn't feel like it was. (a friend later pointed out, "how many real guns have you had to the back of your head, that you know what a real one feels like?") my friend, who is sensible, was thinking about how he didn't have any insurance, and if he were to get shot or stabbed, he'd have a lifetime of medical bills to pay off, if he survived. so he was standing with his hands up like a sensible person would. a couple of the kids took everything from his pockets, and one was starting to take stuff out of my pockets, too. i pushed his hand away, and was promptly punched in the face twice by the guy with the gun, still to my head. i turned and faced him and started yelling "what'd i do? what the fuck?!" and he told me to shut up. i said "you want my money? here!" and gave him the 10 or 15 dollars i had in my back left pocket. then they all ran away. which was great, since they only got the stuff in my left pockets (cell phone and digital camera, which motherfucker, was full of great shots i had taken at the show at the velvet. that was a pisser.) but they didn't get the stuff in my right pockets, which was my wallet and house keys. they took my friends keys and wallet. he had a hell of a time getting a new license, since he was in DC with no ID. he had no keys so he couldn't move his car, which was in danger of being towed. he lost all his credit cards, etc. if they woulda got my keys, i don't know how we would have even gotten back into my apartment. so all in all, it was worth the two punches to the face to not lose the keys and wallet.
but yeah, that may have been a near-death experience, if the gun was real. apparently questioning the authenticity of a gun to your head is not the proper course of action. for me the jury's still out on that one.
(happy ending though, we did end up renting a nice house in Arlington, VA, where we are able to rock out in the basement after only minor acoustical treatment. so that's nice)
Your Near Death Experience!
27I got cancer a few years back and i went through radiation. The cancer was in my brain so they had to do a lot of radiation. I lost 75 pounds, all my hair (on my whole body) and a few of my fingernails fell off. Luckily, I beat the cancer.
The after effects of the radiation? Well, i am sterile now. But if you asked me if i would do it all over again, my answer would be definitely. it taught me a lot about myself.
I'm in medical school now. We are close to the cure for cancer. Really close. It has to do with shark oils. And their skin. Sharks have skin, not scales. A lot of people don't know that. There should be a cure for cancer by 2005. People in the medical community know this but the Bush administration is afraid to say anything because its election time.
The after effects of the radiation? Well, i am sterile now. But if you asked me if i would do it all over again, my answer would be definitely. it taught me a lot about myself.
I'm in medical school now. We are close to the cure for cancer. Really close. It has to do with shark oils. And their skin. Sharks have skin, not scales. A lot of people don't know that. There should be a cure for cancer by 2005. People in the medical community know this but the Bush administration is afraid to say anything because its election time.
Your Near Death Experience!
28Hey you guy!
I am almost to die today in Boise, Italia! Okay, I drive ice, spin the truck, go to ditch, roll over two time, and then to stop on roof of truck!
Oh my god, I say! I make the seat belt not to lock and I crawl through passenger window into brushy field! The glass, she is all over the fahgina place!
The truck, she is in so bad of condition! She is crush and breaking to piece! I think she is to be dead! My muscles, they hurt me all over the body, but I am okay! I am okay because only of seat belt!
Thank you, seat belt! You make me not to be drummer of style of Hanoi Rocks or Deaf Leopard!
I am almost to die today in Boise, Italia! Okay, I drive ice, spin the truck, go to ditch, roll over two time, and then to stop on roof of truck!
Oh my god, I say! I make the seat belt not to lock and I crawl through passenger window into brushy field! The glass, she is all over the fahgina place!
The truck, she is in so bad of condition! She is crush and breaking to piece! I think she is to be dead! My muscles, they hurt me all over the body, but I am okay! I am okay because only of seat belt!
Thank you, seat belt! You make me not to be drummer of style of Hanoi Rocks or Deaf Leopard!
Your Near Death Experience!
29holy fuck bradley r. weissenburgers!!!!!!!!!!!
your truck...i am sad she is dead! this is the toyota 'lands cruiser????' oh shit!
but bradley...is so much to be happy about! the seat belt...she is a great invention to make. she has SAVED YOUR LIFE!
did you to hospital go? you have not to hit your head? b/c it seem...the first thing you have done is to make post to electrical audios website! in fake italian!
brad, many wishes to feel great again and to get a great new truck.
ciao
tm
your truck...i am sad she is dead! this is the toyota 'lands cruiser????' oh shit!
but bradley...is so much to be happy about! the seat belt...she is a great invention to make. she has SAVED YOUR LIFE!
did you to hospital go? you have not to hit your head? b/c it seem...the first thing you have done is to make post to electrical audios website! in fake italian!
brad, many wishes to feel great again and to get a great new truck.
ciao
tm
Your Near Death Experience!
30Hey Bah-dee!
I tell you before bah-dee, when you spin to 100 point room, you must be prepare to make some sacrifice. Why you try this when you don't have good pull string? It's like you shoot across room and almost hit Joanne in the face? Why, bah-dee? I hope you take Brad's sorry ass to emergency room to check for goddamn internal bleeding bah-dee. I am happy to hear Annie still has a daddy, shit.
-Okay, Bah-dee. See you soon, goddamn.
I tell you before bah-dee, when you spin to 100 point room, you must be prepare to make some sacrifice. Why you try this when you don't have good pull string? It's like you shoot across room and almost hit Joanne in the face? Why, bah-dee? I hope you take Brad's sorry ass to emergency room to check for goddamn internal bleeding bah-dee. I am happy to hear Annie still has a daddy, shit.
-Okay, Bah-dee. See you soon, goddamn.
Ryan Kevin Rezvani (:u)~
Go You Sox
Go You Sox