Gramsci wrote: Sun Oct 20, 2024 2:35 pm
Hugely social. Countries without guns have similar stats.
My take on any issue like this is the massive gap between what men are told they are expected to be by our society and economic system and reality. This also speaks to toxic masculinity and every other psychological pathology you can think of. It’s not just women and minority groups that capitalism fucks, it’s baseline white dudes. That ripped influencer with the lambo and the reality of your 9 to 5 experience are so glaringly disparate it’s almost like life is now performative rather than experiential.
The non-real expectations that society imprints on men is self generating and insane.
My exit from this is to focus on how wonderful a basic, normal life can be. Let’s celebrate everyday people exhibiting everyday kindness. I try and think about this a lot. I credit our departed Dear Leader for helping me (not in person) understand that making music for the sake of it, as a social experience and/or creative process rather than “to do it as a job” and “be a rockstar” is the goal. I try to apply this across my life.
I've been dealing with some very challenging life circumstances the last couple of years, and have needed to reach out into the world for some thoughts, suggestions, and ideas about how to be a thoughtful, single 50 year old man after the end of a 28 year relationship.
I can tell you that the archetypes I see are almost always tainted with some kind of Rogan-esque pleas about making more money, getting a ripped body, meeting lots of women, and upping my testosterone. Not only do I not want to be one of 'those dudes', I have had to shy away from external sources of well-being because I walk away from the effort thinking 'I am a loser, and I either don't want any of that stuff for its own sake, or feel like I'm completely lacking in every way because of having paid it any mind at all'.
There are so few role models, and it's so difficult to know what the world expects of me. So your point rings true to me, though I do not suffer from suicidal ideation.